Memorial Day Weekend – Let The Good Times Roll!.
A Welsh Terrier discusses life in the slow lane.
Memorial Day Weekend – Let The Good Times Roll!
We Will Not Forget You
The Red Man Stands At Attention To Salute Our Peeps And Pups In Uniform
Today - And Yesterday, Too
Have a great holiday weekend Sports Fans and make the most of Monday – it’s like a Bonus Day in your life so Let the Good Times Roll!
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Solar Eclipse? I Say Much Ado About Nothing
Geez Louise. Leave it to the Peeps to come up with something Truly Boring to occupy their time at 8 o’clock on a Texas evening in May. They get so excited over the strangest things. Take the Solar Eclipse, for God’s sake. Hype, hype and more hype about the solar eclipse. First one in 18 years, have to be there at just the right moment to see it, have to go to the pasture on Old Plantersville Road to get the best view of it, can’t look directly at it or it’ll blind you, should we walk or take the golf cart? Sweet Jesus. I was expecting to see this fabulous spectacular sight that would absolutely take my breath away.
I told Spike I really hoped we’d get to go along with the old woman Slow for this life-changing experience. He’s always interested in whatever The Red Man is interested in so he was up for it.
One of the Little Women of Worsham Street came and walked Spike over to the pasture and the old woman Slow and I rode in a leemo, as Granny S used to call a limousine, although I don’t think she meant the kind we rode in the other night.
Big Crowd came for the Big Event! Cameras clicking away, special Solar Goggles so they wouldn’t go blind, hoopla galore on OPR at the pasture. My nerves were jangling – I was a WRECK!
And for what?? THIS???!!!
These Peeps need to get a life. Seriously. Right, Spike?
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Stop! Look! Listen!
Hey there Sports Fans! The Red Man’s giving a Shout Out to my editor the old woman Slow today…
STOP! LOOK! LISTEN!
Cast your eyes to the right to my Blogroll and click on bioStories to read a story she wrote by herself without any assistance from moi. Bless her heart – she’s always excited to see her stories in cyberspace in those literary ezines and of course The Red Man wants her to be successful on her own occasionally. As long as she keeps her priorities in order…
Then come back here and look to the right again to my Blogroll and click on Robert Lamb’s blog. He did an interview of the old woman and she answered a bunch of questions about herself. Pretty interesting stuff, if you like the daffy old twit which I have to admit I do.
Enjoy the articles and come back to see me every chance you get, okay?
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The Sounds Of Silence
Okay. The Red Man knows how to CHILL, and that’s the plan for the weekend sans Peep Cousins. The old woman Slow took them home to Navasota for the weekend late this afternoon and perhaps now I can get a little peace and quiet. Hammering and pounding to beat the band at our casa this past week. Thank God I had my Day of Beauty at the K-9 Cuts downtown today so I could leave that crazy nut case Spike with Slow and the Dalton Brothers. I swear he gets on my last nerve with his barking and up periscope hackles and general Bad Ass Attitude. Naturally when he makes a scene, moi has to run interference and it’s like trying to shut down an erupting volcano with molten lava spewing everywhere. Geez Louise.
Oh, what’s that sound I hear? Heh, heh. It’s NOTHING. It’s the SOUNDS OF SILENCE. I don’t hear a frigging thing, thank you very much. Aaahhhh.
Shit house mouse.
For God’s sake, Spike’s so spooked from having those guys in the house this week he thinks they’re hiding or something and are Really Here and he’s started that horrible loud barking behavior at NOTHING. Deliver me from stray dogs with lightweight intelligence.
As one of the Cousins said this week to the old woman Slow about Pretty, “Girls that smart are far and few between.” Amen to that, Brother. And you can say the same thing about smart stray dogs for which we have a prime example living in this very house on Worsham Street. Far and few between…
Well, Amigos, it’s been a tough week but it’s over. Friday nights are special, and The Red Man hopes yours will kickstart a Super Weekend. Catch up with you later. Get me outta here, Percy…
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We Can’t Seem To Find Our Rhythm With A House Full Of Testosterone
OMG, I hate to say I told you so. Well, not really. Actually, I enjoy saying I told you so and what did I just say about the Peep Cousins moving in this week? I said D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R and Brothers and Sisters, the week started off with a BANG. I’m talkin’ lots of FIREWORKS in the ‘Hood on Worsham Street!
It all slipped into a higher gear when the old woman Slow had to go to the courthouse in Conroe early Monday morning for jury duty. Yep, doing her civic duty, blah, blah, blah. I heard her telling Pretty on the phone Monday night that she set the security system off and the guard asked her if she had a pin in her leg or her hip. Geez Louise. How OLD do you have to be to have a perfect stranger with a badge and pistol ask you if you have a pin in your leg?! I fell out laughing when I heard that juicy tidbit. Anyhow, they let her in and it turned out the case she was assigned to was aggravated sexual assault on a minor, for God’s sake. The poor old thing thought she’d stepped right into a Law and Order SVU episode only it wasn’t on the USA channel. It was real life right here in Montgomery County. Shit house mouse. Thank God she wasn’t chosen for the jury, but I knew her nerves were jangled when she came in Monday afternoon expecting to see the Peep Cousins hard at work on our casa.
Oops – Big PROBLEMO which is Spanish for problem!
Well, the old woman pitched a conniption fit, as in stomping down the hall and hollering to beat the band and fussing and cussing and carrying on to the point that Spike and I headed for our time out spots just to escape her rampage. Amigos, I promise you I haven’t heard language that salty flowing out of the old girl in quite some time. Everybody thinks she’s Miss Nicey Nice but she can be B-A-D when she gets mad and I’d say she was as mad as a Mad Hatter. So Monday was a rocky start for sure.
Yesterday – Tuesday – it rained. Not just a little bit of rain, either. Pouring. So not much work going on yesterday. Slow was calmer though but Spike was spooked. He still hates the Peep Cousins.
We can’t seem to find our rhythm with the house full of testoserone. Nope, the Big T is running rampant on Worsham Street and we’re not the better for it, thank you very much. At least, today’s sunny and the Peep Cousins are hard at work after a trip to Jim’s Hardware to pick up supplies.
So the Peeps are working, the sun is shining and Slow seems to be back to herself today after her little Monday Meltdown. At least the three of them act like they enjoy playing dominos together at night and they’ve made up a domino contest for themselves for the duration of however long they’re going to be here. That’s good for them, but I have to say I’m still very nervous and don’t get any Happy Vibes from the Spikester Man.
Get me outta here, Percy…Spike and I are bumfuzzled and I need a nap…stay tuned, Sports Fans…
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We’ve Got Trouble Right Here In Montgomery
And I’m talkin’ Capital T … R-O-U-B-L-E…
Yep, unfortunately ye olde casa which is Spanish for house seems to be in need of repairs and Help Is On The Way this week. Naturally the old woman Slow has Peep Cousins who can handle the situation since she has cousins everywhere in the state of Texas and they can do ANYTHING. If you don’t believe it, just ask her or, better yet, you probably won’t even have to if you hang around her for any length of time. She’s forever talking about her cousin so-and-so from such-and-such-a-place. Ad nauseum. Whatever.
At any rate the thing is she’s gone and IMPORTED these two cousins from Navasota and they loaded up the Dodge Dakota with a truckload of machines and tools and extension cords and two sawhorses named Jack and Jill and drills and paintbrushes and a whole conglomeration of God knows what all and here she comes driving them right up in the driveway yesterday. The plan seems to be they’re MOVING in with us while they work on the house. That’s right. You heard me. TWO MEN are moving in with Slow and me and Spike and we think it might be for a couple of weeks. Yessiree, this is Plan A and I wasn’t even consulted before it was implemented. Personally, I’m worried and hope we have a Plan B figured out because I think Plan A has DISASTER written all over it. I don’t like to be a Negative Nellie, though, until we reach the Point of No Return and it’s too late to steer the ship away from the iceberg. Remember how Everybody thought the Titanic movie was a Love Story? The Red Man knew all along it was about a shipwreck.
Well, things are off to somewhat of a rocky start because it turns out Spike doesn’t like the Visitors. Nope. Doesn’t like them at all. As a matter of fact, every time Cousin JPeep makes a move, Spike growls at him and his hackles go up. Spike’s, that is. I’m embarrassed for us and tried to make up for it by being Mr. Nice Guy which is not the easiest role for moi. We are tiptoeing perilously close to the edge here on the very first day, if you catch my drift.
Of course, Timing is Everything and the Peep Cousins caught Spike on an off week.
Yeah, the Big Guy took a trip to the Santa Claus Vet and came back home missing a few parts. Actually two parts. Heh, heh. Welcome to Club Nutless, Spikester Man. Entertainment courtesy of Dr. Feel Good.
Get me outta here, Percy…it’s the weekend and my Sports Fans have their own Plans and The Red Man hopes they all get to stick with their Plan As…
Hail To The PEEP-IN- CHIEF!
President Obama Declares Pretty and the old woman Slow are OK with him!
CELEBRATE!!
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Anything To Make A Liar Out Of Me
Oh, Brother…I take it back, I take it Back, I TAKE IT BACK! Can that crazy dog READ, for God’s sake??
All I have to do is talk about what a GoofBall he is for NOT going anywhere when he jumps the fence and the very NEXT day he jumps the fence and then RUNS AWAY across Highway 105 to the Cedar Brake Park which as everyone knows is the stomping ground for The Red Man when I am Free in the ‘Hood. Seriously, Dude, anything to make a liar out of me and then you run to MY PARK??!! No imagination. None.
Luckily, I saw the whole thing. Yep. The Big Guy climbed the white picket fence while the old woman Slow was adding bird food to the feeder on the other side of our gravel driveway. She had her back turned and Bloop – he was over and ran down the street toward Badger’s house to piss on his fence for a second and then came running back to the old woman who was calmly waiting for him. Bad Move. He came back to her all right and rather than grab him, she moved toward our gate and figured he was behind her. WRONG, O Daffy Twit Breath!
I immediately knew Spike was on the Move so I raced to the fence and barked and twirled and made as much noise as I could to get him to turn around and come home. Too little – too late. He had gone over to the Dark Side and was possessed by the Evil God of Runaway Hounds. Dammit. The next thing I knew Slow picked me up and tossed me in the back seat of the old Dodge Dakota and we were off to the races.
All’s well that ends well, as I am fond of saying, and the Good News is we found him in the park and he willingly got in the truck with us and we brought him home without much fanfare. The Bad News for Spike is I heard Slow calling the Santa Claus-looking Vet this morning to schedule a Snip, Snip for his you-know-what this week. Yeah, he can say goodbye to those jewels and I’ll be happy to welcome him to the Don’t Bother Looking For Those Any More Club. Hah.
Wait’ll he meets another member of our Club. Smokey Lonesome Ollie. We can all compare Notes or something. Swell.
Well, Amigos, it’s another Monday and looks like you made it through the day so remember The Red Man is hoping you have a great week and advising you to guard your valuables, if you still have any.
Get me outta here, Percy…I need to catch a few zzzzz’s and cool off tonight…it’s already HOT in the ‘Hood…
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We Miss You, Pretty
We all have our favorites and don’t get me wrong. I’m FOND of the old woman Slow, but when you compare her to Pretty, she comes in a distant second. No photo finish for this derby. Nope. Pretty wins every time and that’s why I’m missing Pretty tonight while I’m lulled mindlessly by the NCIS McGee Marathon in the background. Seriously, where is Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson when you need her? Obviously she is unavailable on Saturday nights. More’s the pity.
And of course, Pretty walked me every day when she was here last week, thank you very much. She understands The Red Man needs his walks to shake out a few kinks and survey the situations in the ‘Hood. I saw new Peeps moving into the house on the corner where the Killer Dogs were and want to see if they’re Good for the ‘Hood. You can’t tell that when your view is restricted to poking your nose through a white picket fence.
Ask Spike, the Wonder Dog who drags himself over the fence at least once a day for a breathtaking ESCAPE but never GOES anywhere. Can you believe it? He GETS OUT and COMES BACK, for God’s sake. What’s the point of leaving if you don’t get RESCUED by some hot chick? Geez Louise. What a nerd. The old woman Slow doesn’t even get hysterical when he leaves any more. She just stands at the end of the driveway and waits for the dumbass to come flying back home from down the street and then watches him run to the gate in the front yard. I am thunderstruck and would like to feel sorry for him, but I can’t.
Well, Sports Fans, you know it’s a world gone mad when Tiger Woods doesn’t even make the cut for the weekend at a Minor Golf Tournament. Wow. I wonder if there’s really something to Slow’s theory that what goes around, comes around. It always surprises me when one of her truisms is true.
Good night, Pretty. We miss you and know you miss us, too. It may be a mad world, but you’re our axis.
Get me outta here, Percy…it’s a full moon and I’m about to howl at it.
