Oh no, oh no. The Red Man watched last night’s episode of The Closer with a heavy heart, Amigos. Yes, the ultimate hottie with Whip Ass Attitude Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson was up to her usual shenanigans trying to catch Bad Guys and make them confess to their horrific deeds and Lieutenants Flynn and Provenza were trying their best not to appear Brainless while Gabriel and Tau and Sanchez carried the Intelligence Burden of the Unit very well and Fritz was his cute-as-can-be usual FBI Supporter Under Duress and we all hate Chief Pope and we love Sharon and the new girl Claire and we know Stroh is a Bad Guy who needs to be put away for the rest of his life but EVEN THEN A CLOUD HANGS OVER US: What will we ever do without Deputy Chief Johnson to save the day?
Penultimate Hottie With Whip Ass Attitude
Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson
Yes, and I’m afraid we may have Days on the Horizon that could require Saving right here in Casa de Canterbury. The old woman Slow is about to have caddyshack surgery on her left eye and dear God does anyone remember how horrible it was last year when she had that right eye done? The Red Man lost his editor for days…weeks…I had to advertise for an interim editor and alas, mysteriously, no one applied. Hmmmm…
At any rate, Slow has a new Smokin’ Hot Doc for herself this time and is hopeful this operation will be easier for her and has promised me that her work schedule will be unaffected this month. Naturally I hope this is true for all of our sakes. Don’t get me wrong. The Red Man is a compassionate employer but July is a Big News Month and we don’t need any of our team members out of pocket and off task. No out of pocket. No off task. Nosirree.
In honor of the Season Premier of The Closer last evening, I put on my monogrammed Thunder Shirt. Ok, ok. So it was also thundering.
As you can see, my plan for the best seat in the living room was thwarted by Paw Licker Annie who refused to give up her spot on the cushions. I got there early but she suggested rather strongly that I move. Whatever. Bitch.
Slow and Pretty munched on homemade chocolate chip cookies that Slow made in honor of the season premiere. The house smelled delicious with the aroma of the cookies, but never forget Selfish Peeps are everywhere and the cookie scent was the closest we got to the sweet treats. A Pox be Upon You, Old Woman. Oops – a Pox has already been upon you with the shingles for the past four years so I’ll just add Locusts as my Cookie Curse. I try to stick with biblical curses – they’re ever so much more effective than sticking pins in dolls.
Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea and the Spikester feel about TNT drama the same way they feel about Sports. Yawn.
Smokey Lonseome Ollie is now the Missing Man in our formation. He takes his meals upstairs in the bedroom and boycotts the rest of us after his Episode last week. He only comes downstairs when Spike is in his crate. Geez Louise. What a revolting development this has turned out to be. If only he were writing poetry like Emily Dickinson did in her room by herself all the time. I doubt it.
Well, that’s about it for the Post-Closer Premiere thoughts. We will wait for next Monday and try to entertain ourselves this week with outdoor activities.
Get me outta here, Percy…I feel a nap coming on…