Long-Necked Bottle Let Go Of My Paw

I never thought I’d say it but I actually miss the Country Legends Radio Station in Houston and their ridiculous whining crying in the morning crying in the evening somebody done me wrong songs.   Dear God, give me some Johnny Cash or Hank Williams, Sr. or Janie Fricke or Dolly Parton or the Oak Ridge Boys or Shenandoah or Randy Travis or George Strait or just ANYBODY other than Garth Brooks with his album that starts with Long-Necked Bottle Let Go of My Hand!   

Now don’t misunderestimate me.  The Red Man is a Garth Brooks Fan from way back but since we don’t have our Worsham Street radio in the kitchen at Casa de Canterbury the old woman Slow has resorted to her CD player and for some reason known only to her she plays the same Garth Brooks album over and over.   Yep.  In less time than it takes a tear to fall with the angels singin’ like thunder we surely don’t have to wonder any more except why in the hell doesn’t she play some of her other CDs.   She’s got Reba McEntire, Alison Kraus, Nancy Griffith and of course her perpetual all-time favorite country group ABBA.   Oops – scratch the ABBA for being out of genre but she does have it.

Son, it ain’t what your drivin’ or the clothes that you wear…material possessions don’t matter up there…some day in heaven when the angels all si-heh-in-heh-ing,  well these rags that I’m wearin’ will be fit for a king.   Okay.  I get that.  I really do.   Let’s don’t focus on the incidentals but really Street Preacher in the song you seriously need to think about taking a bath even if your rags that you’re wearin’ don’t matter.   And I have to say what goes around comes around and all that hard liquor must have taken a toll on you which is why you are burnin’ up with fever while waving a Bible in the air.  Maybe you should’ve listened to Song #One and stayed with Long-Necked Bottles of Beer.   Shit house mouse.   Tell it, Street Preacher Man.

The dog that I am when no one’s around…nobody knows the songs that I howl…the heartaches, the hard knocks I’ve had...oh, yeah.  I’m with you on that one, Garth.   Sometimes The Red Man is a mystery even to himself so it’s probably just as well I always have the Pack with me here at Casa de Canterbury so I don’t have to worry about much Alone Time.

Sometimes it  comes down to the wire…sometimes you may have to walk through the fire… walk on, Boy…go on through… because nobody in this world is gonna do it for you, do what you gotta do…Oh my God, I know too many of these lyrics…get me outta here, Percy.  I need a dose of Law and Order: SVU.  Maybe there’s a weekend marathon on USA tonight.

Well, Sports Fans every time I look I’m seein’ you in another’s eyes so be careful what you gaze upon over the weekend and try to avoid unnecessary confusion and high drama.

Catch you later on…

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