HELP WANTED!

HELP WANTED!.

HELP WANTED!

EDITOR WANTED: POSITION AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY

Creative Welsh Terrier blogger seeks reliable YOUNG Editor for blog with international following. Must not request time off for doctors appointments to include general practitioners, orthopedists, optometrists, dermatologists, dentists and doctors express (particularly in the same week). Must not request personal days for mini-vacations to Tennessee. Must be punctual and in happy frame of mind whenever working. No watching any of the Four Major Tennis Slams on TV will be permitted during working hours. No complaining about assignments will be tolerated. No whining about overtime, either. Do not apply if you are over 40 years of age and/or take more than 20 pills per day including vitamins. Salary negotiable. Remember: old people should not apply.

P.S. Happy Fourth of July, America from Casa de Canterbury to all our Amigos and Sports Fans in cyberspace – celebrate!

Country Roads, Take Me Home

First of all, let me just say that The Red Man is – and always has been – a Truth Seeker. Under most circumstances a visit to Samadhi, the Healing Arts Center in Johnson City, Tennessee with sympatica Amigas who provide spiritual enlightenment and alternative treatments for the aches and pains and vicissitudes of life would be a bonus on any vacation; however, unfortunately my nerves were a little jagged from the lengthy ride up the road from South Carolina to Rocky Top Land. Sweet Lady Gaga. I thought I would never be able to stretch my legs…so I’m afraid I couldn’t relax at the Relaxation Mecca on Day Two of our mini-vacation.

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Love the floors – just right for pacing

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Pretty got right into the spirit of things with Tenn Amiga and sound therapy

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OMG – another covered bridge

The next day (Day Three for those who are counting) the old woman Slow and Tenn Amiga visited yet another covered bridge in Elizabethton, Tenn while Pretty checked out the antique stores. Big difference in this bridge, though. The place was overrun with DUCKS.

Quack, quack – who’s there?

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 Nice Ducky

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Seriously?

To add insult to injury, the final stop at the end of Day Three was Elk Falls. Do I detect an aquatic theme here…what is wrong with you, Pretty? You know Slow has a water phobia. Thank God for her zoom lens or we would have no record of our fun whatsoever.

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Okay, Elk Falls truly scare me. Stick a fork in me, I’m done with Water Adventures. Get me to land and take me home, country roads. Adios, aquatics.

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Slow and Pretty with moi on dry land in West Asheville, NC

(photo courtesy of Huss Brothers’ grandparents)

All’s well that ends well, Sports Fans, as The Red Man is fond of saying, and once again we are all safe and sound under the same roof at Casa de Canterbury after a brief detour to visit Hottie Doc Too on the way into Columbia on Day Four since apparently the Water Adventures gave me a bacterial ear infection.

I’m telling you – Pretty’s retirement is killing me.

Get me outta here, Percy…I’ve got to get to bed early tonight because Wimbledon starts bright and early tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn.  Trust me. I’m ready for some indoor entertainment.

They Call THIS Retirement?

Well Amigos, The Red Man has seen the Green Weenie the past few days, as the old woman Slow’s grandmother used to say whenever she saw too much of a good thing. Since Pretty has retired from the Mast General Store, The Red Man has been a doggie on the move.

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Father’s Day in the Upstate with Pretty’s family

So Pretty got the brilliant idea to take a barbecue picnic up to her daddy’s place in Landrum, SC and her daddy had the brilliant idea to have the picnic up at this covered bridge which was somewhere out in the boonies and the supposedly famous saying about how it’s always 10 degrees COOLER in the Upstate was clearly proven to be a bald-faced lie. It was hotter than you could imagine in your wildest imagination of hot, and The Red Man was forced to cool off in the little stream running under the covered bridge. Pretty was fine with that.

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Always nice to make new friends

Other people had decided to picnic at the old covered bridge, and we all ended up in the water to try to survive the heat and humidity.

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Getting out of the water was tricky – the rocks were as slippery as glass

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Thank God for Pretty who was also barefoot in the stream with moi

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Meanwhile back at the picnic,

The old woman Slow got the last of the Super Delicious Chocolate Cake

(cake courtesy of our good friend  Baker Jim)

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Pretty took me to see the Campbell’s Covered Bridge

(which begged the question, what’s the Big Deal about a bridge?)

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The Red Man looks a lot more refreshed than Slow does

Yessiree, the heat is hard on Slow, but she kept a good attitude because we wrapped up the picnic and drove around in the air-conditioned car for what seemed like days and days.

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We definitely saw some sights…and found out where they came from

So Sports Fans, Father’s Day was a long, exhausting day for The Red Man, and this was only Day One of our travels. Stay tuned.

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Get me outta here, Percy…The Red Man is trying to recover from Pretty’s retirement.

Get Well? Unlikely – but Say It with Flowers

Well Amigos, The Red Man was shocked when the delivery came for the old woman Slow this afternoon to Casa de Canterbury from two of our faithful followers: JB and Ed.

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As you can see, this very beautiful arrangement has now found a place of honor in Slow’s office next to her Saloon Girl, which is her favorite piece (heh, heh). Get Well??  There is some question as to whether Slow has ever REALLY been well, but we can always hope.

Slow has been confined to quarters for the past two weeks but is getting around better after a cortisone shot in her knee and more magic pills. Today she went to Rush’s to get a chocolate shake so apparently she will live to fight another day. The old woman keeps on rolling, and the flowers definitely improved her disposition which has been sketchy at best lately.

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Give the Elgin Florists two thumbs up for the little doggie face on the carnations – now that’s some creativity The Red Man finds inspiring. Thanks so very much to our Amigos for trying to spread a little cheer to Slow. She seems extremely grateful.

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Spike, on the other hand, not too interested.

Get me outta here Percy, I think it’s time to pop some pills…catch ya later, Sports Fans – hope your weekend is a super one – if you’d like to visit with Slow and Pretty in person, come to the Art Show Benefit tomorrow afternoon. They’re serving wine and little goodies, too.

High Drama from Slow and Pretty

Well Amigos, the old woman Slow has been in bed for the past four days with assorted ailments and The Red Man says frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. Serves her right for one of her clandestine visits to our old home place on Worsham Street last week without so much as a fare thee well or kiss my paw to anyone at Casa de Canterbury. She has a sinus infection, thank yew very much. I am sure she caught that flying the sickly skies – plus she came back hobbling along with a cane.

Now there’s a story for you. According to what she told Pretty when she got back from the Texas Trip, Slow was in charge of the two younger of the Fabulous Huss Brothers while their mother was doing her morning treadmill workout in their  Worsham Street casa Friday morning. Oscar, the oldest was in school and Commander Huss was away teaching Navy pilots how to fly.

 

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Oscar goes to kindergarten – he is now 6 

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George is the baby (2) – such a sweet expression

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Dwight (4) – the picture of innocence

Apparently the two younger Huss Brothers asked Slow if she would take them to ride their trikes down the street in the huge Jehovah’s Witness Church parking lot which the church had paved from Paradise.  Heh, heh. My little Paved Paradise and made it a Parking Lot joke. Slow was happy to take them so the boys put on their shoes for the adventure and off they went. Hi, ho, hi, ho.

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 After a lengthy play time in the JWC parking lot, Slow told the boys they needed to make their way back home – at which point the events took an unfortunate turn. The conversation must have gone something like this.

Slow: All right, boys, let’s head back to the house.

Dwight: I’m not going home.

Slow: Yes, you are.

Dwight: No, I’m not.

And with this, he turned his trike around and started pedaling as fast as he could in the opposite direction. Lickety-split fast pedaling. Slow lunged to catch George who had turned around to follow Dwight, but George was too quick for her, and he took off like the Hounds of the Baskervilles were after him, too.

Of course, the old woman Slow started running after them. Running, mind you. As if. Well, she ran through the streets and she ran through the JWC parking lot which is where the Huss Brothers retraced their route. She hollered and hollered for them to stop, and the louder she hollered – the faster they pedaled.

They pedaled all the way to Old Plantersville Road, which had lots more traffic than Worsham Street and that was when Slow panicked and stopped to text Mother Huss for help. She found out later Mother Huss had been on the phone with a neighbor who was convinced federal troops were about to invade Texas so she didn’t see the text right away. That was a hard conversation to cut short.

By this time Slow saw the runaways had crossed OPR and pedaled into the New Old Montgomery Cemetery and were racing along the U-shaped paved road through the stones and markers. They were headed up and around so Slow stopped to catch her breath and wisely decided to watch them and head them off when they came around to OPR again.

The next events were a blur, according to Slow, but somehow she yanked the trikes away from both boys who were stunned to see she had outwitted them and even more surprised to see Mother Huss who by now had caught up with them and spanked each one as the solitary car on OPR stopped to allow this drama to unfold. The car was a Driver’s Ed vehicle, and the student driver was sure to have the best story of the day.

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Where did we go wrong?

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All’s well that ends well, as The Red Man is fond of saying, and the younger Huss Brothers were brought home safe and sound by their mother. Slow returned safe…but sound was a different matter. She hasn’t been mobile on her own since then.  Running at her age was a bit too ambitious.

The Red Man is unsympathetic. Talk about sneaking off. Dwight and George at least had the common decency of telling Slow their plan. The old woman Slow told no one about hers except maybe Pretty but Pretty is unreliable lately due to the fact she has resigned her position at the Mast General Store and is giddy, giddy, giddy with her new freedom. Sweet Lady Gaga. Pretty is free. Slow is under house arrest – confined to her bed – with a new set of pills to swallow.

Get me outta here, Percy…I think I’m losing my grip on the universe…stay tuned, Sports Fans.

The Red Man Kisses the BLARNEY STONE!

Well Amigos, across the Pond in Ireland today the votes are being counted and it’s all over but the pints in the pubs – the Irish are the first country to vote Yes in a popular national referendum to make it legal for same-sex couples to marry which means all eyes at Casa de Canterbury are smiling!

I heard the old woman Slow telling Pretty this morning she was sure her ancestors on the Morris side were from Ireland and Pretty said that was news to her and why hadn’t she ever mentioned that fact before…she had remembered Slow saying they were from Wales – not Ireland, at which point Slow huffed and puffed and said well they had been in the vicinity anyway. That’s so like Slow – she likes to take credit for everything.

The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to all his Irish Sports fans in cyberspace and awards them the Royal Order of the Pawmetto for voting to take their place on the right side of history for equal rights for everyone including the gays!

The Red Man must have kissed the Blarney Stone in a prior life because he has had the gift of gab forever – he would kiss it again today if he could. That’s how happy he is!

Party hearty, LGBTers and your Amigos wherever you are this weekend and celebrate the victories you’ve earned.

Get me outta here Percy…I have to go ask the interweb if Chief Justice Roberts is a wee bit Irish…now that would be lucky.

 

 

Mumbo Jumbo

Oh, for  the love of Sweet Lady Gaga.

The old woman Slow has gone beyond the pale this time. She got a massage from Woman Without Walls this week and now she sits at her desk humming these meaningless words for h-o-u-r-s, well maybe not hours but when she’s on a roll, it seems like an eternity.

Ummmmmm….shrimp…clams…Lock.she.me.ay… …yamaha….ummmmm…shrimp…clams…lock.she.me.ay…yamaha

Are you kidding me? What does that MEAN exactly?? Mumbo Jumbo, as Granny Selma would call it when she was in her right mind. Slow told Pretty (who is equally unimpressed) that if she says those words for 40 days, we will have great prosperity. Whatever.

So far we are going in reverse. The Red Man went to see Hottie Doc Number Two yesterday and she stuck a long needle in Fred, which is what I call the big round thing the size of a baseball in my side. Hottie Doc 2 called Slow this afternoon and told her Fred is a Czar’s Coma which is not good evidently. So much for prosperity mantras. But then it’s only Day Three.

Well, Sports Fans, we will take the bad with the good because we have no choice. That’s the luck of the draw, and we’ve had one of the Best Rides ever. I was hoping to hang around for another year or two because I frankly don’t know if Pretty can take care of Slow without me. She’ll have her hands full, that’s for sure.

Maybe Fred will go easy on moi and keep me around for entertainment.

Get me outta here, Percy…The Red Man needs a sip of The Remedy…

 

 

Mother’s Day Memory Makers – 2013

The Red Man sends all his amigas and Sports Fans who are mothers Paw Snaps and Twirls on this Mother’s Day weekend because you are the BEST in his book – and don’t you forget it!

At Casa de Canterbury we remember all our family on Mother’s Day two years ago with love and gratitude for the happiness we shared. Those of you who have been with us will remember these familiar faces. The day was a memory maker, as Granny Selma would have said.

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Smokey Lonesome Ollie

(with Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea on the chair)

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Paw Licker Annie

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The Red Man controlling the pack

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Squirrel Chaser Spike snoozing in the sun

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The Red Man must always be on Full Alert

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And now the Pack is three…we carry Smokey Lonesome Ollie and Paw Licker Annie in our hearts.

Get me outta here Percy…I need to find Pretty a Mother’s Day card…

I’ve Got Nerves that Jingle, Jangle, Jingle

Well Amigos, The Red Man is trying to rally and bounce back from the flurry of activities during the month of April in the hope that May will be a little less nerve-wracking. I’ve got nerves that jingle, jangle, jingle…as the old cowboy Gene Autry sang about in the last days of Pompeii…OMG, I think he was singing about spurs and not nerves that jingle, jangle, jingle and he wasn’t singing about the last days of Pompeii, was he? I think not – my brain is scrambled – now I’m doing time travel with Gene Autry to Italy. Sigh. I fear the worst.

The old woman Slow is sick with a bad cold and fever like Pretty had during the Wedding festivities, but of course Pretty being the trooper she is went right ahead with her fun and never let it keep her from enjoying the Big Event. Slow, on the other hand, has taken to her bed with the vapors and her Zicam and is more worthless than usual. The Red Man is saddled with an editor who is a troll.

From Tampa and the Final Four to Slow’s birthday celebration to Bishopville and the Wedding, those two old lesbians kept it in the road and on the go last month. Oh, and to start May off with a bang, they had a gigantic Garage Sale this past Saturday. Their Garage Sales are infamous – people come from far and wide – well maybe not far and wide…more like around the corner. Regardless, there was a mad influx of bargain-hunters in our driveway and The Red Man and his running buddies Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea and Squirrel Chaser Spike were confined to quarters. As if we even cared about whether the flower pots or Mason jars sold.

So Sports Fans, The Red Man plans to keep a low profile while Slow recovers. I hope she’s down for a few more days. I think I overheard her talking on the phone to the 4 Paws Clinic to cancel an appointment for moi this a.m. with Hottie Doc Two,. Holy Moly, not another vet visit. May the Force be with me.

Get me outta here, Percy…I think a cookie treat will help settle my nerves and I know where the jar is…

 

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