BS (Before Spike)

Believe it or not, Spike hasn’t been around with us forever, although it seems like that most days.  Spike came to us via one of the Little Women of Worsham Street – one who shall remain nameless to protect the guilty.

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The Pack Before Spike

The Red Man, Paw Licker Annie,

Smokey Lonesome Ollie, Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea

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Relaxing at Casa de Canterbury

in the good old days

Get me outta here Percy.

P.S.  It’s B & W Blog Hop Sunday!

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One Headstone Too Many

Well Amigos, I have to say the old woman Slow has hit Beyond Thunder Dome this week, and here’s why.

First of all, she left AGAIN with her little suitcase and computer bag but only one week’s worth of pills so The Red Man knew she wasn’t going to be gone long.  When Pretty drove off with her and came back by herself, none of us really cared whether Slow was gone or not – as long as Pretty was here.

I knew she must be headed to Worsham Street for a sneaky visit, and sure enough that’s where she was.  Interesting.  We all miss the ‘Hood  but apparently only one of us is allowed to visit.  I sniff discrimination.

The Ansel Adams of digital photography she is not, but she did bring us a few pics from Worsham, and The Red Man was happy to see the old home place looked the same.

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609 looks the same except for…

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…super deluxe shiny red golf cart in the driveway

I always wanted one of those.  Sigh.

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604 is as pretty as ever –

my favorite view from  between pickets in our fence at 609

So far, so good – but she just can’t leave well enough alone.  I swear she cannot go to Texas without making a trip to that cemetery…the cemetery where The Red Man had the Infamous Incident several years ago with El Toro Grande which is Spanish for the Big Bull.  No good memories are attached to that place for moi.  That was a lot of Bull to outrun, if you catch my drift.  I can still smell his bad breath, hot and heavy.  Whoa, Nellie, I’m getting the vapors just thinking about it.

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 Good to see the oldest of the Fabulous Huss Brothers

how Slow ever talked Oscar into a cemetery trip is beyond me

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Even Oscar knew something wasn’t quite right

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Wait a minute – what’s this new one?

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Hey, that’s MY NAME on this stone – stop smiling, Oscar – has the daffy old twit lost her mind??  Sassy, Annie, Ollie and RED…are you kidding me??  What kind of nut case is she – seriously…Pretty and Slow are very much alive, and so is The Red Man.  And now she has a HEADSTONE for us.  Well, I never.

Get me outta here Percy, I need a sedative for the nightmares I’m about to have from this vision. Deliver me from pre-planners.

Tennis, Tennis Everywhere – And Not a Place to Hide

Well Amigos, The Red Man has returned to Casa de Canterbury from his adventures in Cincinnati, Ohio which is eight hours north and west of us if you are riding with Pretty in her comfy 2006 Toyota 4 Runner. Pretty keeps the pedal to the metal when she’s on a mission, and the Super Duper Tennis Tournament with all the Big Stars was definitely her mission this week.

As you will recall, The Red Man spent his time at Camp Bow Wow while all the lesbians – we brought an extra one with us for this trip – made a mad dash to Mason outside of Cincy for the matches.  Then when they picked me up late in the afternoon, it was Tennis Talk, Tennis Talk, Tennis Talk in the car.  When we stopped to get something to eat at night, we had to find a Sports Bar  that would give up a TV screen for these women who now reminded me of Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea that was probably btw at home snoozing without a care in the world on our sofa.  With Seinfeld in the background.  Lucky her.

When we got to our rooms in the nice La Quinta after supper, we WATCHED Tennis highlights on TV.  Shit house mouse.  They had tennis seeping  from every pore in their bodies for the past five days. I swear I thought I could smell the cinnamon pretzels the old woman Slow raved about.  Slow never passes up a warm pretzel in a concession stand at a sporting event – even when she’s sitting in the hot afternoon sun getting baked herself.

The high point of the trip for Pretty, of course, was when she saw Roger Federer walking from the courts to the ESPN booth for his interview after his win over Andy Murray.  According to Pretty, she was walking to the Grandstand Court from Center Court and all of a sudden the crowd parted much like the biblical waters of the Red Sea  but instead of Moses, it was Roger Federer and his entourage moving through the masses.  Pretty evidently swooned when she saw him up close and personal and told Slow it was like watching The Beatles walk by.  Whatever.

Thank God Pretty had to be back at work yesterday at the Mast General Store or I’m sure we would’ve still been in the middle of Tennis Madness.

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Pretty and Amiga waiting for Roger

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Old Woman Slow and her hero Rafael Nadal

Poor old Slow.  That picture on the wall around the stadium was as close as she could get to her hero this week – he had to withdraw due to a wrist injury at the last minute.  She’s loved the guy for ten years and just when she finally goes to see him, he’s not there.  The Red Man almost felt sorry for her.  Almost.

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The Red Man leaving Cincy

Well Sports Fans, The Red Man found Camp Bow Wow in the North in Cincy to be run by the same kind of very nice people who ran Camp Bow Wow in the South in Columbia.  As a matter of fact, people are just people no matter where they live.  You got your mostly good ones and a few jerks no matter where you ride: north, south, east or west.

And speaking of riding, get me outta here Percy…I’ve got some finals to watch today.  Needless to say, the bleacher seats at Casa de Canterbury will be hoping Federer wins all the marbles.

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Tennis Players I Didn’t See at the Tournament Today

 

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Camp Bow Wow – Ohio Style

Well Sports Fans, if you were looking for The Red Man today, you should’ve looked at Camp Bow Wow in Cincinnati, Ohio because that’s where you would’ve found him.  Nothing against this place for sure, but apparently The Red Man isn’t going to the Tennis Tournament with the Big Stars like:

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Serena Williams

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Sam Stosur who lost to Serena Williams

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Pretty’s Favorite Roger Federer won in three sets

The Stars were big and bright deep in the heart of Center Court today, but The Red Man spent the day at Camp Bow Wow – which is one step above Vacation Bible School and a step below Boot Camp.  What fresh hell will the old woman Slow and Pretty have up their sleeve for tomorrow.

Thank goodness for Mary H., a longtime faithful follower of The Red Man who lives in Cincy and arrived at the end of the day to rescue me from CBWow and drive me and Slow back to the motel where we are staying.  This was my first personal meet and greet with Mary H, and I must say she was a sight for sore eyes.

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Mary H – one of The Red Man’s Favorite Amigas

Get me outta here, Percy…I think I heard Pretty finally get in from her twelve-hour marathon day of tennis…I need to catch the scores from today’s matches or I could just watch…

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The Tennis Channel

Road Trip – NORTH and West!

Well Amigos, I wish I could tell you the whole story of my day today, but unfortunately, The Red Man has seen the green weenie, as the old woman Slow’s grandma on her daddy’s side used to say when she saw something truly remarkable – plus he’s had a full day on the road and needs to catch some zzz’s.

 

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Pretty always drives on road trips

but where in the world is Pretty taking us?

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Now here’s a familiar sight…

in an unfamiliar state – Kentucky?

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On full alert in the back seat

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Eight hours later – not so interested

So we drove NORTH and west instead of our usual SOUTH and west to Worsham Street and ended up in Cincinnati, OHIO.  Sweet Lady Gaga.

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Get me outta here Percy, Slow and Pretty have a tennis tournament to go to tomorrow, so lights out for The Red Man…stay tuned.

Red and Annie and Spike — in Black and White

 

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Paw Licker Annie with her backups Spike and The Red Man

(taking it easy in the sun at Casa de Canterbury last August)

When push came to shove, I knew I could always count on Paw Licker Annie.  After all, she was already living with Pretty when Pretty rescued The Red Man from the Lexington Animal Shelter. Yep, before Smokey Lonesome Ollie, Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea and Fence Jumper Spike, Paw Licker Annie was.  She had always been there with me.  She must’ve been as old as dirt – maybe even as old as Granny Selma was when she went to meet her Maker – or whoever Granny Selma went to meet.

And now she’s gone, and I have to say the last year without her has been like losing an anchor and being swept out to sea.  Casa de Canterbury can’t seem to find an even keel with just The Three Musketeers.

TBO Chelsea and Spike are all right, but they ain’t Paw Licker Annie.  Now that was a dame with class.

Get me outta here Percy…I need to go wake up Pretty to get ready for work today…

P.S. Blog Hop Sunday

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Finding Rover.com

Well Amigos, The Red Man has now heard it all.  Cyberspace is expanding at the speed of light and there is a Dot Com for everything.  Today the old woman Slow was telling Pretty about Finding Rover.com.

Are you kidding me?  A facial recognition app that saves pictures of Rover’s nose and eyes which can then be matched against pictures taken of a dog that is found to see if it’s really Rover who is apparently lost.  Sweet Lady Gaga.

Now far be it for moi to cast aspersions on new innovative technology, but The Red Man sees a few flies in this ointment, as Granny Selma used to say when she had her right mind.

Number One: Rover’s picture has to be taken by a Smart Phone to send to the Great Picture Saver in the Sky.  Unfortunately, at Casa de Canterbury our Ansel Adams of cell phone photography still uses a Dumb Phone which would make capturing Rover’s eyes and nose impossible if Rover lived with us.  Of course Pretty has a Smart Phone, but she is always working at the Mast General Store so she won’t have time to take any pictures of Rover’s eyes and nose to send to anybody.

Number Two: Let’s say Rover doesn’t live with us but is found at Casa de Canterbury.  By the time Rover makes it to our house, Slow will have totally forgotten about Rover.com and she and Pretty will simply decide to keep Rover with us because that’s how they roll with Stray Dogs who appear on our doorsteps.

Now, all that being said, Rover.com does seem to have real possibilities for some people and is a step forward in the constant battle of locating Rover who would be better off if he stayed home anyway.

Which reminds me of the story of the dog in Kansas who walked 30 miles back to her home and then her family didn’t take her in.  Thirty miles are a long way to walk home to be told you can’t stay.  Only this wasn’t Rover – this was Lady, or as she was one time called, Ma Kettle. Someone needs to let me know why that family wouldn’t burn in Hell if there is one.

Luckily, Lady was rescued by a Gum Heiress and flew to Florida on a private jet and now surveys her new yard riding on a golf cart.  Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.  Happy endings.  The Red Man loves ‘em.

So Sports Fans the moral to our stories today is if you see Rover, grab a Smart Phone and take a picture of his eyes and nose and if you see Lady, well, tell her The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to a girl who deserves the Good Life.

Get me outta here Percy…all this technology talk makes me nervous…I feel like somebody is watching me.

 

Red and Ollie in Black and White

Well, well, well.  The Red Man sniffs creativity in the air.  Apparently we are trying a new techno gimmick today instead of my usual biting rants and raves.  Biting?  Get it.  My little joke for a Sunday morning. I know, I know, but it’s very early on the East Coast of the USA.

 

Ollie and Red on porch - early Worsham

Me and Smokey Lonesome Ollie on Worsham Street

living the good life together

I hate to say it, but I really miss the Big Guy with his one blue eye and one brown eye.  He wasn’t the brightest bulb but hey, he had a few good qualities, and we can’t all be perfect.

We made a good team.  I had the brains, and he had…hm…okay so he was the Sweet One, according to Pretty.

Get me outta here Percy…he’s been gone a year now, but I still miss him.

Editor’s Note:  This is a BLOG HOP, but you have to click below to see the other ones on B&W Sundays!  Enjoy!

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Home Are the Sailors, Blah Blah Blah

Palm trees and coconuts, ocean beaches and swimming pools, margaritas and tequila tastings, coffee beans, chalupas – sounds like they won an Ellen trip to a tropical paradise.  The old woman Slow and Pretty have been back for one day and The Red Man is already weary of the Vallarta Vacation Versions.  Frankly, my dear, etc.

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Et tu, Brute?

Seriously, Pretty – you are gone for a week and The Red Man discovers you have another Pup in your life? Tucker, you say?  Tucker, ugh.  What a ridiculous name for a beagle.

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Pooch Poolside Party?

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Como se llama?

(which is Spanish for what are your names, you little hot mamas?)

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Pretty was her usual adventurous self evidently

because that’s how Pretty rolls

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The old woman Slow was, well,

the old woman Slow

A picture is worth a thousand words.

At any rate, Amigos, at least the lesbians made it home in one piece.  Missing one cell phone which Slow lost on the first day of the trip when she left it in the taxi going to the condo from the airport but she bought a new one today so all’s well that ends well, as The Red Man is fond of saying.

Thankfully, our babysitters were spectacular.  We had a platoon of caretakers this trip, and they kept us well-fed and entertained.  I must send Paw Snaps and Twirls to the Girls who came to Casa de Canterbury and helped us get through an uncertain time.  The Red Man and Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea and Spike love a routine and we all experience separation anxiety when Pretty and Slow aren’t around.  Not that they are all that, but when they are all you’ve got, you learn to overlook the little things like where are my treats from Mexico.

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Pretty loved the Police in Puerto Vallarta

Hm…very interesting.  Pretty never loves the Police.

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Now here’s a dog with attitude

on the beach at Sayulito…living the good life

Well, that’s it for moi.  The Ansel Adams of digital phtography took enough shots to last a lifetime and I’ve seen them more than once.  Sigh. Get me outta here Percy…vacations exhaust me.  Nap time.

Hey! Who’s Missing Around Here?

Oh, for the love of Sweet Lady Gaga.

Did anyone ASK me about a vacation?  Did anyone bother to tell The Red Man btw the old woman Slow and Pretty are headed to Mexico for a few days…I’m sorry to say I don’t think so. I haven’t had the first phone call, either, since they’ve been gone.  Worthless.  Totally worthless.  It’s impossible to find good help these days.

Hm…I am wondering about cause for termination…of employment – not of the old woman.  Heh, Heh.

Sigh.  Thank goodness for the substitutes who are taking care of the Three Musketeers in their absence.  Unfortunately, none of them have editorial skills.  Oh well, you can’t have everything.

Get me outta here Percy…I’ve got to find out where Puerto Vallarta is…I guess I’ll need a GLOBE…