The Merry-Go-Round of LOVE and the Roller Coaster of HAPPINESS!

Well Amigos, the old woman Slow and Pretty got a marriage license today – what’s that you say?  A marriage license?  Sweet Lady Gaga…you mean the gays are getting married in South Carolina now – OMG it’s the Rapture, and we’ve been left!!

 

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So Spike, Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea, Pretty, Slow and yours truly The Red Man were winding down the day late in the afternoon at Casa de Canterbury today, you know just sitting around the kitchen table,  when Pretty said Hey I see somebody coming up the steps to the front door and I think it’s our neighbor Judge McCullough and she jumped up and ran to the door before this Your Hottie Honor even had a chance to ring the doorbell and then Slow jumped up too and the rest of us went running and barking following Slow like we always do whenever anyone comes to the casa and Pretty got to the door first.

Your Hottie Honor gave this Marriage License to Pretty who had opened the front door and then she said Congratulations and hugged Pretty and tried to hug Slow who had her hands full keeping us dogs from running out the front door.  Then she ran down the steps back to her car  waving her arms in the air like a big Hallelujah or Eureka or Victory Salute.  I swear she did.  I saw it with my own eyes.

Apparently this is a very Big Deal to Pretty and Slow who have been laughing and crying ever since she came by.  I mean it, laughing AND crying.  Okay.  I say, let them go for it – spin the merry-go-round of LOVE and the roller coaster of HAPPINESS and let the good times roll.  Turn on some ABBA and let the old girls P-A-R-T-Y…Dancing Queens…Take a Chance on Me…having the time of their lives…

Get me outta here Percy…I am an emotional wreck tonight…

http://www.wistv.com/story/27425993/richland-county-now-issuing-same-sex-marriage-licenses.

What Happened to that Hound Dog Sadie?

Well Amigos all’s well that ends well, as The Red Man is fond of saying, and this week has been a Happy Ending for Number One Son and Pretty Too.  Pretty and the old woman Slow are excited that #1 Son and Pretty 2 have bought their first house and it’s only twenty minutes from Casa de Canterbury.  Let the good times roll.

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Gamecocks are a generational thing

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Pretty 2 multi-tasking – juggling job, moving and taking care of…

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… Maddie?

Who the hell is Maddie?  And what did they do with their old you-ain’t-nuthin’-but-a-hound-dog Sadie?

Well, excuse me, but apparently The Red Man is the last to know there are now TWO grand-dogs and Maddie is the latest addition.  Sigh.  Gamecocks and dogs, two great traditions.  Pretty and Slow must have done something right along the way.

Get me outta here Percy…it’s the weekend, and The Red Man is ready to P-A-R-T-Y!  Go Cocks!  Hook ‘em Horns!  Catch ya later Sports Fans…

Fido Almighty

 

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Once upon a time long, long ago, a dog named Fido lived in the magical kingdom of Shangri La.  He was a very lucky dog because he belonged to King Abracadabra who had all kinds of super cool talents like making things appear and disappear whenever it suited him – which is always a handy trick to have at your disposal if you live in a magical kingdom.

The King was a lonely man because in order to make whoopee with the King, a princess candidate had to pass the Fido test, namely, Fido had to lick her nose.  This was the ultimate sign of approval and so far, not a single princess had been favored with the lick on the nose, and there had been a ton of them who tried.

One day King Abracadabra said, “Fido, I believe I have found the perfect princess.  She is from our neighboring Kingdom of Nevermore and is the daughter of King Sonoco who is prepared to give us a gazillion dollars if I will marry her. You know he has all that oil money.  Anyway, this is a must for us.  I really need you to decide to lick her nose when she picks you up to give her best efforts pets.  Do you feel me, Fido?”

Fido nodded his head and raised a paw in a perfect salute to the King as if to say, I’m all over it.

The next evening Princess Hoity Toity was escorted into the King’s boudoir by the castle guards who then closed the doors behind them.  King Abracadabra motioned to the Princess to have a seat next to him on the royal sofa – which was his customary receiving move.  Fido sat on the other side of the King with his head on the King’s leg – which was his customary position…and then…

Sigh. I don’t know what happened next because the old woman Slow called Chow Time and The Red Man was happy for it.  Today was a canned food day, and that’s a magical moment at Casa de Canterbury.  The Red Man made that food disappear as fast as King Abracadabra could have with a snap of his fingers.

Slow found this picture of Fido at one of Pretty’s antique malls and all of a sudden I pictured Fido in his Grander Days, and then I was off and funning.

Well Sports Fans, it’s Weekend Eve and that means another round of football madness is upon us.  Thank goodness the Cocks have a weekend off to gather themselves for the Florida Gators the following week.  It won’t be easy.

Abracadabra, get me outta here Percy…there’s a full moon tonight, and I’m a doggie on the edge…

Public Enemy Number 1: Gamecock Negativity

Well Amigos, The Red Man has a big battle on his hands today, and it’s a fight with one of his biggest enemies and no, he’s not talking about the Devil, although the Devil is certainly a Biggie.

Nope. The Red Man’s  Public Enemy Number One: Gamecock Negativity.  Gamecock Negativity has left him alone for the past three years due to the winning ways of the old Bald Coach and three seasons of eleven wins and three losses and of course finishing in the Top Ten in the nation those same three years.

But here we are winding down the 2014 season and last night Gamecock Negativity came swooping through the bleacher seats at Casa de Canterbury like a Category 5 Hurricane as Pretty, the old woman Slow, TBO Chelsea, Spike and The Red Man watched the Cocks blow a 42 – 28 lead late in the 4th quarter and end up losing to the Tennessee Volunteers 45 – 42 in OT.

It was like deja vu all over again.  Same thing happened against Missouri and Kentucky this year.  As QB Dylan Thompson was tossed up in the air and thrown down on the ground while he was trying to throw passes every play at the end, The Red Man had, like, a thousand follow-up questions.  Where was Mike Davis?  Where was Brandon Wilds?  Where was David Williams?  Where was Pharoh Cooper?  Where, oh where, were they and why, oh why, do they vanish along with our running game when we are WINNING?

 

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Now why didn’t I call the run?

It’s too easy to blame the Defense because even The Red Man believes he could score against a defense which puts three Cocks on the line and scatters the other eight loosely around the field where they stand like deer in the headlights.  Unable to move to the ball.  Unable to tackle if they do.  Sweet Lady Gaga.  Okay.  The Red Man blames the Defense, too. Note to Defensive Coordinator: Prevent Defense…doesn’t.

And so Sports Fans, GN landed with a thud at Casa de Canterbury the night after Halloween as the Cocks dressed in all-black to play the Vols who brought a hound dog named Ole Smokey to the game with them.  Rocky Top rolled.

The Cocks are at 4 wins and 5 losses already this year with Visions of Sugar Plums fading into the sunset and GN rising in the east with the sun.  BTW, Slows’ Longhorns won yesterday and they are thrilled to have 4 wins and 5 losses.  The Fickle Finger of Football Fate writes and having writ, moves on.

Get me outta here Percy…I forgot to turn my clock back…I started being negative way too early this morning…I need to pace myself.

TBO Chelsea Hikes the Palmetto Trail

Excuse me, but apparently somebody has new Amigos this afternoon.

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Where in the world is Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea?

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Does she miss The Red Man and Spike?

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Obviously not

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Hm…Dykes on Bykes…of course…that explains it…

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Busted – trying not to look guilty

So it turns out the old woman Slow takes TBO Chelsea on a walk this afternoon and leaves The Red Man at home with Spike.  We are not amused.

I heard Slow tell Pretty she and Chelsea hiked the Palmetto Trail with a dyke on a byke.  Why hike if you have a byke?  Heh, heh.  The Red Man is a poet.

TBO Chelsea came in with her tongue dragging so she must have had quite the afternoon with her new amigos.  She actually looked guilty, which isn’t possible according to somebody named the Dolly Llama who says guilt isn’t even a word.  Seriously?  I like to heap it around on a regular basis.  What’s the point of having fun if you can’t feel guilty about it afterwards.

Get me outta here Percy….time for late night guilt-free Pretty Pets…

Back to the Basics

Well Amigos, nothing to report on the pending nuptials of the old woman Slow and Pretty.  Nope, they never heard back from the county judge about their license, and they apparently have no clue when it might be accepted.  In the mean time, The Red Man is sick to death of all this talk about social justice this and marriage equality that.  Justice delayed is justice denied, blah, blah, blah.  Frankly my dear, etc.

We have to get back to the basics around here.  October.  Halloween.  The Gamecocks.  The Longhorns.  Their defenses and offenses.  Coach Spurrier.  Coach Strong.  Pumpkins.

Did somebody say pumpkins?

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Choosing the right pumpkin is a family affair

There’s a Pumpkin Patch right around the corner from Casa de Canterbury at the Methodist Church which evidently hasn’t gotten the memo about Halloween being off-limits and connected to heathens.  They will have like a thousand follow-up questions if they ever find out about it.

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At any rate The Red Man is staying tuned for an adventurous autumn weekend and hoping all of his Sports Fans have a Great Time and that all their favorite teams win – as long as they’re not playing the Cocks or the ‘Horns.

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Go Cocks!  Hook ‘em!!

 

OMG – THEY’RE LIVE ON FOX NEWS!

Well Amigos, it was bound to happen sooner or later and now it’s a current event.  The old woman Slow and Pretty have applied for a marriage license right here in Columbia, South Carolina.  Well, I never.  Seriously.  I never thought they would be able to make honest women of themselves after almost fourteen years of the ups and downs of married life without the benefits of legal paperwork.

And of course, leave it to them to be interviewed in their car by Fox News just as they were leaving the courthouse.  That’s right – look them up in cyberspace: http://www.foxcarolina.com/story/26734913/gay-marriage-licenses-issued-in-south-carolina. The old woman Slow has a few words about icing on the cake, which is naturally what she would be thinking about on her Marriage Application Day.  Don’t blink or you’ll miss them, but there they are big as Ike.

Pretty’s family is from the upstate Greenville/Spartanburg area so it was only fitting that the Fox station doing the interview was from Greenville.  Imagine her aunts and uncles and cousins sitting down for dinner watching the Evening News and asking each other if that wasn’t Pretty on TV trying to marry the old woman Slow.  Oh my goodness.

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They look happy, don’t they?  I haven’t heard any talk about weddings so that’s probably a different topic for on down the road.

Get me outta here Percy…all this good cheer exhausts me…I’m afraid it might be contagious…

 

 

How Bad Was It?

Well Amigos, it was a bad weekend at Casa de Canterbury this weekend.  The old woman Slow and Pretty were underwhelmed by their Cocks this weekend as they got beat in the last few minutes of their college football game in a mild upset loss to the Wildcats of Kentucky.  I say mild upset to everyone except Slow and Pretty.  They were “mighty” upset.  Heh, heh.  My little joke for a Monday morning.  I know that’s lame, but it’s early.

Slow was further annoyed that her Texas Longhorns lost to Baylor, too, but then that wasn’t a big surprise to anyone in the state of Texas except perhaps UT head coach Charlie Strong who we are cutting some slack in his first year while he gets to know Bevo.

How bad was it at our casa?

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 It was SOOO bad Chelsea and Spike went upstairs to the guest room

Yep, when you can’t stand the heat, get out of the bleacher seats and head for higher ground.  Whew – the language alone will scorch you if you’re not careful.

The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to the entire state of Missy Prissy for their big home wins this weekend in Upsets – Bulldogs over the Aggies and Rebels over the Crimson Tide. Alabama’s Coach Saban is going to have to work on his “why we lost” speech since he never had to have one until the last couple of years.  Oh, well. Practice makes perfect, as The Red Man is fond of saying.

So it’s Monday morning, and time for all of us Monday a.m. quarterbacks to bark about what we would have done if only we’d been the coach.  Here’s a shout out to the Gamecocks’ Old Bald Coach from one of his biggest fans: the horse you draw is the one you ride and when one of your “hosses” is running like a son of a gun, put the ball in his hands to save the day.  You can quote The Red Man on that one.

Have a great week, Sports Fans and stay tuned to see if The Red Man is offered any coaching positions anytime soon.

Get me outta here Percy…I need to prepare for my close up…

Paw Licker Annie was The Bomb

Well Amigos, one year ago today The Red Man lost his oldest friend and running buddy Paw Licker Annie.  Sometimes when I dream, I dream of her.

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We loved to roam West Montgomery County Park in Texas

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Ok so I hogged the water bowl in the old Dodge Dakota pickup

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I could always count on Paw Licker Annie for Backup – 

sometimes you just need Backup

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PL Annie after one of our trips to K-9 Cuts in Montgomery

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I smell like perfume – yuck

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I can’t bear one more picture

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The Red Man and Paw Licker Annie at Casa de Canterbury

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Get me outta here, Percy…I’ll be seeing you in all the old familiar places…

Hey HEY, Ho HO! HO-mophobia’s Got to GO!

Well Amigos it was a Big Day yesterday for the old woman Slow and Pretty who celebrated with 25,000 of their closest friends and a handful of their enemies.

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Of course Slow rode on the Pioneers Float with other “Pioneers”

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Who gave her a horn to toot?  Take it away from her – quick!

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 Fired up – ready to march!

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 This dog got to march because of the happy feet , right?

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This guy Toby did stars…The Red Man could’ve done stars 

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Pink boa?  Not The Red Man’s look exactly – but could’ve worked it

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Over the top

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Let’s Go!

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Moving out

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Main Street cheers Pioneers of Pride

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My flag’s higher than your flag

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Friends of the Pioneers

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Wow – who are those old people, and why are they singing?

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I don’t know who they are, but they look like my grandma and grandpa

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Hey, Hey!  Ho, Ho!!

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Homophobia’s got to go

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The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls for Best T-Shirts!

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I’m having the BEST time at this Pride Parade!

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Uh, oh.  Gloom and doom. Sigh.

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Better sign

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Time Warner Cable loves the gays

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In front of the State Capitol

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Confederate soldier has a lot to think about today

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Free to be

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The Red Man says this is what it’s all about anyway

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All smiles 

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Babies, babies everywhere

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One last look

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Pretty had to work at the Mast General Store – they were Proud, too!

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A Marquee kind of day

The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to the South Carolina Pride Movement for their silver anniversary and says Thank You for your hard work and perseverance during the lean years – you’ve made all of our lives better in the long run, which is where we now find ourselves.

The Red Man has renewed hope for the future when he looks into the eyes of the children who cheered the Pioneers.

Get me outta here Percy…Slow needs a nap this afternoon so I have to shut up.  Paw Snaps and Twirls to all of our Amigos in cyberspace around the world who celebrated with us at Casa de Canterbury this weekend!

P.S. If you want to see more Pride photos, click on The Old Woman Slow’s Photos under Friends of Red.