Author Archives: Sheila Morris

What We Had Here was a Failure to Communicate

Well Amigos, The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to all of you for your kind bark backs and well wishes during the past several days which we were just able to see a few minutes ago due to interrupted utility services. As the old woman Slow is fond of saying, one day this computer age will come crashing down around us when nobody can sign on to anything and then what can we do…turns out not much.


The Mess

(huge pine tree crashed into neighbor’s yard and knocked down power lines)


The Men


The Machinery




The Method

For two days men from the neighboring town of Sumter and the neighboring state of North Carolina, as well as several local teams, worked to bring Casa de Canterbury back from Lost in Space to Found on Facebook. We are grateful to these men for their hard work above and beyond the call of duty and send Mega Paw Snaps and Twirls from The Red Man.


Chelsea waited for crumbs from Pretty’s emergency chocolate cake in the first sunshine we’ve had since forever this afternoon while the men worked all around us.


Which way did the cake go?


Don’t know, don’t care


As the past two nights fell around us, the men worked, Slow sipped adult beverages and Pretty, bless her heart, kept smiling.


Spike was spooked – who’s surprised?

So Sports Fans, all’s well that ends well, as The Red Man is fond of saying, and I, for one, will rest better tonight knowing that my night-light is burning once again. On the other paw, many of our amigos and amigas in the Columbia area and across our state are not so lucky. We will be thinking of them tonight and hoping for better days and nights for all very soon.

Get me outta here, Percy…now I lay me down to sleep…etc.

Curfew Must Ring Tonight – and Does

Well, Amigos…what can we say to our friends in cyberspace except muchas gracias for your kind words of support today for all of us here at Casa de Canterbury during the practically Biblical proportions of epic flood waters that cover our entire state of South Carolina.

It is a real disaster for sure, and we are very sad for what we see and hear on our local news programs that have shown people and their pups and purrers being pulled from rooftops and put into boats transporting them to safety. Boats in the streets. Sweet Lady Gaga. And to top it off, our 4 Paws Clinic with the Hottie Docs was completely submerged today…totally under water. No news on when they will be open again. Unbelievable.

Casa de Canterbury has been spared the flooding and still has electricity but no city water since water mains are broken somewhere in the vicinity. Pretty cleverly filled a bathtub with water so that should help for the next few days.

She also made a chocolate cake as an emergency source of food when the takeout containers have all been emptied. Let them eat cake.

The old woman Slow continues to monitor the TV for regular updates so that she can maintain her typical Woe is me, whatever will become of us cheerful disposition. Honestly, if she could just give it a rest we would all appreciate it.

She did take a few photos this morning outside of our Casa.







These pictures are why she never gets a raise.

Get me outta here, Percy. I hear the rains coming down again…hope everyone stays safe through the night. The Red Man will keep you posted…stay tuned.


Downright Un-Neighborly

Well Amigos, no good deed goes unpunished, as Granny Selma used to say when she had her right mind and you can ask Pretty today if she believes it.

Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea has been doing so great for the past week that Pretty decided to do her good deed Saturday evening and take her for a little walk around the block. An itsy bitsy teenie weenie walk around the block…what could possibly go wrong, right? Plus it would make TBO Chelsea happy to get out of Casa de Canterbury for a few minutes.

Turns out TBO Chelsea felt so happy she slipped out of her collar as Pretty walked her, ran into a neighbor’s yard on the corner up the street, and was promptly bitten by a yellow lab who evidently disliked black labs that came to visit without an invitation. Shit house mouse.

To make a very long story short, Pretty and the old woman Slow spent the remainder of the weekend at the ER vet’s place which is in the same building as Uncle Collin Gist’s so the vets could share all the Bad News together. Brother, that file must be a thick one.

So now TBO Chelsea is back at Casa de Canterbury with numerous staples in her leg and a few on her belly – none of which she had before Pretty did her good deed. Pretty and Slow are sleep-deprived and appear in worse shape than she does, if you catch my drift.

The Red Man maintains his customary good humor and rosy outlook while all around him are in shambles with the exception of Squirrel Chaser Spike who isn’t really tuned in to much of anything except squirrels anyway.

Get me outta here, Percy…looks like Slow wants to take me for a walk…no way. She’ll have to catch me first.

Friends of Red

Miss Poppy Seed, Cassie P, Dr. Zeus and their Ma and Granny in Pennsylvania. Miss Harper Lee and Tallulah and their human mommy and daddy in New Orleans. Cricket and Butterfly and Rachel and her mom in New York City. Luanne the poet in Arizona. Robin a/k/a peace, love and great country music. Terry the caretaker. Don the philosopher from South Africa who just moved to London. Favorite Australian Author Dianne Gray. Twitterers Sonny and Skye and their family in Florida. Annie and her Animal Couriers who carry our favorite furry friends all over Europe. Fredrieka and momwithoutpaws. Granny and little Binky.

These are a few of our favorite cyberspace Amigos who have jumped aboard The Red Man’s Rants and Raves Train at various times during our past five years and kept on riding with us; and we are the better for it. We want to know what’s going on with them and love to read their stories when they lay them out for us as intergalactic communications.

When The Red Man began his rants and raves five years ago this month, he had no thought of his “future.” He couldn’t imagine five years from then. He barely remembered yesterday. He had no friends except Pretty and the Pack at Casa de Canterbury. He had no editor to help him – just the old woman Slow who was – and still is – a worthless curmudgeon that is difficult to work with on her best days.

Today, as he stands on the brink of this historic five-year anniversary, he wishes to say Muchas Gracias (which is Spanish for many thanks) to his 1,451 (which is numbers for one thousand four hundred and fifty-one) Amigos and Sports Fans who make The Red Man a part of their cyberspace experience. As he gives his opinions on a variety of subjects, he hopes to enlighten and entertain…well, maybe enlighten is a stretch but hopefully, entertain.

Red in Rosewood - Sept 2015

The Red Man on a walk today with Slow

For all those we added to our family during the past five years including the Little Women of Worsham Street and the Fabulous Huss Brothers and the Boring Cousins when we were bi-stateual, we also lost some of our favorites: Granny Selma. Aunt Sweetie Pie. Smokey Lonesome Ollie. Paw Licker Annie.

Regretfully, we never solved the mystery of the Missing Baby Jesus from the Nativity Scene in Navasota, Texas but then you can’t do it all. Score one for the Bad Guys.

The Red Man has no regrets on this Anniversary. He has had more fun than a barrel of monkeys with his Rants and Raves and thinks he probably lives the good life. At least, that’s what Slow keeps telling him.

Get me outta here, Percy…we party during our Anniversary Month and are sending extra Paw Snaps and Twirls to celebrate with all of our Friends of Red this weekend!

Red and Chelsea in Rosewood - Sept 2015

Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea with me and Slow today

(this is how we roll)




The Italians are Coming! The Italians are Coming!

Red, white…and green???

Well, Sports Fans, don’t bother looking for the red, white and blue colors to be flying in victory at the US Open tennis tournament women’s championship match tomorrow in Flushing Meadows, New York  because it won’t be waving there. That’s right. The number one seed American Serena Williams and the number two seed Romanian Simona Halep were eliminated by a pair of unlikely Italians in today’s semi-final matches.

The number twenty-six seed Flavia Pennetta defeated Halep in the first semi-final match and the unseeded (which in tennis terms means you are so far back you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning) Roberta Vinci upended Serena Williams in the second one. As a matter of fact, most fans were mildly surprised by Halep’s loss; but whoa Nellie! the earth rotated on a different axis when Serena lost to Roberta.

The Red Man felt the world tilt as he watched from the bleacher seats at Casa de Canterbury with hardcore tennis fans Pretty and the old woman Slow and the lesser TV sports enthusiasts Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea and Squirrel Chaser Spike – both of whom would rather be outside in the fresh air actually doing something than inside the casa watching somebody else do something.  That’s just the way we roll – we can’t please everyone all the time so some of us have to learn to deal with disappointment.

Speaking of disappointment, Serena must be totally outside the acceptable range of frustration with the college of hard knocks tonight but has to tell herself that’s the way the yellow ball bounces sometime and she will have to bounce back from this setback. On the other paws, Roberta Vinci and Flavia Pennetta and their coaches are probably celebrating big-time over their combined good fortunes and wondering which Italian woman will swing the winning racket in the final.


The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to Flavia and Roberta for their victories today and says may the best Italian win tomorrow!

He also sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to Serena for her life-time tennis achievements and for coming oh, so close, to joining another elite club today with a Calendar Grand Slam. Better luck next year.

Get me outta here Percy, college football Game Day plus US Open tennis tomorrow…hm…is it possible to overdose on sports…enjoy your weekend, Amigos, and may all your favorite teams win unless they are playing the Gamecocks or the Longhorns.

It’s Raining French Fries, Hallelujah

Well Amigos,  The Red Man visited Uncle Collin Gist with Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea today when she went for her second chemo treatment and thought he was just along for the ride to keep her company. Not so fast, my amigo.

Before you could say kiss my paw, The Red Man was in the same room with Pretty and the old woman Slow and TBO Chelsea and Uncle Collin Gist who turned out to be another Hottie Doc and no Uncle at all. Well, I never.

To make a long story short, TBO Chelsea was led away by a young girl in a blue uniform, and that was the last I saw of her while The Red Man was interviewed and inspected by Hottie Doc Three. Being the focus of attention isn’t always a good thing, if you catch my drift. Be careful what you wish for. I must have passed the inspection with flying colors because the girl in blue didn’t come take me away, and I escaped with Pretty and Slow before anyone had time to reconsider.

On the way home from the vet’s office, we went through the drive-thru at Rush’s to get unsweet tea for Pretty and Dr.Pepper for the old woman Slow and french fries for moi. Ah yes, french fries – one of the basic food groups and nectar of the gods. Unfortunately, it was a small order and “shared” by all of us so one of us was short-changed. Guess who. You have three guesses, and the first two don’t count.

Casa de Canterbury looked really good to me when we finally pulled into the driveway, and I have to admit I was exhausted from the whole excursion. I took a nap and dreamed it was raining french fries, hallelujah.

TBO Chelsea came home later this afternoon and apparently got a good report from our new best friend Uncle Collin Gist so that made everyone as happy as they were with the Gamecocks winning the first football game of the season against the Tar Heels tonight. All in all, a banner day.

Happy Labor Day weekend, Sports Fans…enjoy your favorite football team games and US Open tennis, too. Travel safe if you’re leaving home.

Get me outta here, Percy…it’s way past my bedtime…





Pretty for Pres!

Well Amigos, the American political process is alive and well and another Peep Presidential Election must be just around the corner because we see Candidates popping up everywhere except on ESPN and the Tennis Channel.

Old Uncle Sam had a mess, E – I – E – I Oh. And with that mess he had some candidates, E-I-E-I Oh.  With a snip, snap here and a snip, snap there…snip, snap, snip, snap everywhere a snip, snap. Old Uncle Sam had a mess, E-I-E-I Oh.

Clean up the mess – let’s run Pretty for President! That’s right. The Red Man is convinced Pretty has all the leadership qualities necessary for the job because she’s had so much experience being in charge. Pretty has been in charge of the old woman Slow and Casa de Canterbury for years. I’m talking years – as many years as The Red Man can remember, and it hasn’t been an easy job, let me tell you.

Pretty doesn’t bother with negotiation which has been a big problemo for Peep Presidents in the past. No sirree. Pretty’s Presidency would be more like the one across the Pond where they have a woman in charge of the Big Things. I’d say Queen Pretty would fit her better than President Pretty, if you catch my drift.

Hm…let’s see. Will Pretty have to have a Convention to officially nominate her and a Party to back her? The Red Man prefers a Convention close to home so maybe we could have it in Hopkins at the farm on Backswamp Road…yes, that would be perfect. Her Party could be the Life is Good Party since she and Slow already have so many of those tee-shirts.

The Red Man is feeling it now – Paw Snaps and Twirls to himself for having such an inspiration on a Monday morning.

Get me outta here, Percy. I need to make plans for a fundraiser…Pretty for Pres!