The Red Man Kisses the BLARNEY STONE!

The Red Man Kisses the BLARNEY STONE!.

The Red Man Kisses the BLARNEY STONE!

Well Amigos, across the Pond in Ireland today the votes are being counted and it’s all over but the pints in the pubs – the Irish are the first country to vote Yes in a popular national referendum to make it legal for same-sex couples to marry which means all eyes at Casa de Canterbury are smiling!

I heard the old woman Slow telling Pretty this morning she was sure her ancestors on the Morris side were from Ireland and Pretty said that was news to her and why hadn’t she ever mentioned that fact before…she had remembered Slow saying they were from Wales – not Ireland, at which point Slow huffed and puffed and said well they had been in the vicinity anyway. That’s so like Slow – she likes to take credit for everything.

The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to all his Irish Sports fans in cyberspace and awards them the Royal Order of the Pawmetto for voting to take their place on the right side of history for equal rights for everyone including the gays!

The Red Man must have kissed the Blarney Stone in a prior life because he has had the gift of gab forever – he would kiss it again today if he could. That’s how happy he is!

Party hearty, LGBTers and your Amigos wherever you are this weekend and celebrate the victories you’ve earned.

Get me outta here Percy…I have to go ask the interweb if Chief Justice Roberts is a wee bit Irish…now that would be lucky.

 

 

Mumbo Jumbo

Oh, for  the love of Sweet Lady Gaga.

The old woman Slow has gone beyond the pale this time. She got a massage from Woman Without Walls this week and now she sits at her desk humming these meaningless words for h-o-u-r-s, well maybe not hours but when she’s on a roll, it seems like an eternity.

Ummmmmm….shrimp…clams…Lock.she.me.ay… …yamaha….ummmmm…shrimp…clams…lock.she.me.ay…yamaha

Are you kidding me? What does that MEAN exactly?? Mumbo Jumbo, as Granny Selma would call it when she was in her right mind. Slow told Pretty (who is equally unimpressed) that if she says those words for 40 days, we will have great prosperity. Whatever.

So far we are going in reverse. The Red Man went to see Hottie Doc Number Two yesterday and she stuck a long needle in Fred, which is what I call the big round thing the size of a baseball in my side. Hottie Doc 2 called Slow this afternoon and told her Fred is a Czar’s Coma which is not good evidently. So much for prosperity mantras. But then it’s only Day Three.

Well, Sports Fans, we will take the bad with the good because we have no choice. That’s the luck of the draw, and we’ve had one of the Best Rides ever. I was hoping to hang around for another year or two because I frankly don’t know if Pretty can take care of Slow without me. She’ll have her hands full, that’s for sure.

Maybe Fred will go easy on moi and keep me around for entertainment.

Get me outta here, Percy…The Red Man needs a sip of The Remedy…

 

 

Mother’s Day Memory Makers – 2013

The Red Man sends all his amigas and Sports Fans who are mothers Paw Snaps and Twirls on this Mother’s Day weekend because you are the BEST in his book – and don’t you forget it!

At Casa de Canterbury we remember all our family on Mother’s Day two years ago with love and gratitude for the happiness we shared. Those of you who have been with us will remember these familiar faces. The day was a memory maker, as Granny Selma would have said.

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Smokey Lonesome Ollie

(with Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea on the chair)

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Paw Licker Annie

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The Red Man controlling the pack

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Squirrel Chaser Spike snoozing in the sun

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The Red Man must always be on Full Alert

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And now the Pack is three…we carry Smokey Lonesome Ollie and Paw Licker Annie in our hearts.

Get me outta here Percy…I need to find Pretty a Mother’s Day card…

I’ve Got Nerves that Jingle, Jangle, Jingle

Well Amigos, The Red Man is trying to rally and bounce back from the flurry of activities during the month of April in the hope that May will be a little less nerve-wracking. I’ve got nerves that jingle, jangle, jingle…as the old cowboy Gene Autry sang about in the last days of Pompeii…OMG, I think he was singing about spurs and not nerves that jingle, jangle, jingle and he wasn’t singing about the last days of Pompeii, was he? I think not – my brain is scrambled – now I’m doing time travel with Gene Autry to Italy. Sigh. I fear the worst.

The old woman Slow is sick with a bad cold and fever like Pretty had during the Wedding festivities, but of course Pretty being the trooper she is went right ahead with her fun and never let it keep her from enjoying the Big Event. Slow, on the other hand, has taken to her bed with the vapors and her Zicam and is more worthless than usual. The Red Man is saddled with an editor who is a troll.

From Tampa and the Final Four to Slow’s birthday celebration to Bishopville and the Wedding, those two old lesbians kept it in the road and on the go last month. Oh, and to start May off with a bang, they had a gigantic Garage Sale this past Saturday. Their Garage Sales are infamous – people come from far and wide – well maybe not far and wide…more like around the corner. Regardless, there was a mad influx of bargain-hunters in our driveway and The Red Man and his running buddies Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea and Squirrel Chaser Spike were confined to quarters. As if we even cared about whether the flower pots or Mason jars sold.

So Sports Fans, The Red Man plans to keep a low profile while Slow recovers. I hope she’s down for a few more days. I think I overheard her talking on the phone to the 4 Paws Clinic to cancel an appointment for moi this a.m. with Hottie Doc Two,. Holy Moly, not another vet visit. May the Force be with me.

Get me outta here, Percy…I think a cookie treat will help settle my nerves and I know where the jar is…

 

The WEDDING!

Well Amigos, the old woman Slow has evidently done a better job for The Red Man with the Wedding pictures. Thank God. Hang on to your reading glasses.It’s the Main Event.

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Best Man and Maid of Honor rock their entrance

(reception following wedding in Bishopville Opera House)

 

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Pretty Too + Number One Son = Happiness

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Pretty laughs with Newlyweds at reception

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The First Dance

nice and easy…and slow

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Maid of Honor with Main Squeeze

(is it fair for identical twins to have the same amazing smile?)

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Wedding Party PARTIES!

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Hey nobody told me not to cut the top?

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Okay, now I totally get it

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Apparently you don’t get it – 

wedding director called in for cake emergency

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He has to do ONE thing!

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Ready! Set! Go!

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She should have told me not to cut the top – just sayin’

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Dancing gets tougher with a baby – but not impossible

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Everybody Dance Now

(Pretty looking for Slow to dance with her)

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89-year-old Grandmother of the Bride cut a rug

(as Granny Selma used to call it)

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Pretty and Number One Son

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The Official Bridal Portrait

(not taken by the old woman Slow, thank goodness)

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Pretty happy and thankful all went well

(whatever will she do for fun now??)

So Sports Fans, this is the best we can do for you – The Red Man is exhausted by it all. He doesn’t know if he is…

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coming or…

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going.

But I think going – get me outta here Percy…my nerves are jangled and The Red Man needs to crash.

P.S. If you want to see pictures of the Bridal Brunch and supporting cast characters for The Wedding, Slow will publish more on her other blog The Old Woman’s Slow’s Photos – click on blogroll to the right for those photos later, gator.

The Wedding Rehearsal!

Well Amigos, Pretty and the old woman Slow just rolled in from the Wedding Rehearsal and Rehearsal Dinner moments ago, and The Red Man has to say our evening meal was quite late. Of course, no complaints from Casa de Canterbury since we are all aware of the sacrifices to be made for Number One Son and Pretty Too’s Wedding tomorrow.

Apparently weddings require practice, and this afternoon was the Dress Rehearsal.

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Bride’s Great-Aunt’s House in cotton country

Site of the Wedding

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Pretty Too instructs while Number One Son observes

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Everyone attentive to wedding director

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The Red Man loves gardens with flowers –

too bad he won’t be inspecting this one up close and personal

(as a result of being uninvited)

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Number One Son has definite opinions – 

hm…wonder where he gets that?

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Rehearsal Reward: PARTY!!!

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Pretty and Pretty Too a Picture

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left to right

Pretty Dad, Pretty Sis, Number One Son, Pretty

and the old woman Slow

So Sports Fans, these are a few highlights of the Wedding Eve with more excitement to follow from the Big Event tomorrow…

The Red Man is trying hard not to complain about being left at Casa de Canterbury during all the festivities and having to rely on a few pictures taken by an unreliable assistant who was supposed to be covering the stories with due diligence. Oh, well. You take what you can get, and this is what we can get.

Get me outta here Percy, I need to do my part by waking them up early tomorrow morning so they can hit the road again for Phase 2: The Bridal Brunch. Have mercy, Percy.

Countdown to the Wedding!

Well Sports Fans, we are in countdown mode to Number One Son and Pretty Too’s wedding on the 25th of April which means me we are officially one week away from this Huge Event! All nerves are present and accounted for, but they appear to be jangling.

As the mother of the groom, Pretty has been frantically searching for weeks for the appropriate frock for the events related to the wedding which include the Rehearsal Dinner on Friday night that has ballooned to more people than you can shake a stick at, the Bridal Brunch on Saturday morning which evidently is an all-female affair that may be somewhat a stretch since the old woman Slow was invited, and of course the Wedding itself which will be in the middle of the afternoon on a farm somewhere near Bishopville, South Carolina.

Pretty Too’s family is from down around there so she opted to have the wedding where her grandmother’s sister had a beautiful place to tell Number One Son how much she loves him. Sniff, sniff. The Red Man will go ahead and cry now since apparently no dogs were invited but he always cries at weddings and he would still like to have a good cry over everything.

Mostly, The Red Man will shed a tear for Pretty who still has not settled on her dresses. When she leaves work at the Mast General Store, she rides and rides to different ladies’ apparel establishments to search for the perfect attire. She did the modern thing and conducted a great cyberspace search, too. She imported a couple of dresses from California and New York but they had to be returned in the same manner they arrived – the Squirrel Chaser Spike’s nemesis the UPS truck.

OMG – that poor guy was throwing those boxes on the front porch and running like the Hounds of the Baskervilles were after him, and they might as well have been. Spike has a ferocious bark and is able to leap tall fences in a single bound, or at least climb them if he isn’t on his outside hookup. Thank God the old woman Slow was at the top of her game and kept him under control when she heard the truck coming.

As far as I can tell, that’s about the only contribution she’s made to anything. Pretty had to buy her outfits, too, but luckily she picked out the right things for her and Slow is all set. I think Slow has decided to lay low until the tidal wave of joy and happiness passes. An excellent plan.

I have seen Slow putting new batteries in her old Canon mini-cam so maybe she will be able to take a few pictures. Remember: Ansel Adams she is not so let’s keep our expectations in check.

So Amigos, The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to Number One Son and Pretty Too and hopes the wedding is a wonderful success and they have as much happiness as Slow and Pretty have had together at Casa de Canterbury.

Get me outta here, Percy – now where did I put those tissues…have a great weekend, Sports Fans!!

 

Lady Gamecocks Rock Tampa – and Win New Award!

So March Madness ended in April for the Lady Gamecocks at the Final Four in Tampa, Florida with the elimination game against the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame. Final Score: 66 – 65. Another heart attack finish – only this one went the other way. Coach Dawn Staley’s team went down with the same come-from-behind spirit they had the entire season – and The Red Man would like to thank Chica Amiga who tuned the TV to ESPN so that the Pack could catch the excitement…because, of course, we were NOT included on the Tampa Trip with the old woman Slow and Pretty. What’s up with that, Pretty?

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UCONN fans brought their dog – 

and ended up winning it all.

Think about it.

The good news, Sports Fans, was the Gamecocks did have one HUGE WIN in the Game Day afternoon activities. Guess who was the Number One Mascot in the all-important Mascot Competition?

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The One and Only Cocky stole the show!

The Red Man salutes Coach Staley and the Lady Gamecocks for their valiant efforts this past year and awards them his highest honor which he is just making up this very minute:  The Order of the Palmetto Paw Snaps and Twirls. Congratulations to the team for being the inaugural winners of this soon-to-be prestigious award. We would like to provide the appropriate trophy, but we are after all in cyberspace so it’s an imagine the best trophy you could have Lady Gamecocks – and that’s the one The Red Man sends you.

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Get me outta here Percy…it’s the weekend, round ball is over and I’m feeling the need for my disco nap. Have a great weekend, Amigos!

March Madness Moves On to April

Well Amigos, The Red Man has been terrorized by March Madness right here at Casa de Canterbury…it wasn’t enough that the old woman Slow and Pretty left us here at home in the bleacher seats for Rounds 1 and 2 of the Lady Gamecocks’ post-season hijinks right here at Colonial Life Arena. Oh, no – that wasn’t enough. This past weekend they took their show on the road to the Greensboro Regional. Sweet Lady Gaga. They’re Round Ball Obsessed – as cray, cray as Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea.

 

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As soon as the pills were packed, I knew they were up, up, and away.

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I had to deliver the bad news to Squirrel Chaser Spike who makes such a Big Deal out of everything. Honestly, bark, BARK, BARK! He truly needs to get a life. He acts like they’re NEVER coming back. They ALWAYS come back. The real issue is who will be here while they’re gone.

So leave it to Pretty to handle the logistics and provide a suitable caregiver. Thank yew very much, Patrick. Paw Snaps and Twirls to you for keeping up with the necessities like food and water and lots of treats.

And Paw Snaps and Twirls to The Red Man’s favorite round-ballers the Lady Gamecocks who rallied from behind to win both their games in the Sweet and Elite and make it to the Final Four in Tampa this coming Easter Sunday. Those girls got Game with a capital G and Coach Dawn with a Capital D.

Who dat? Who dat? We dat..and they’re all dat.

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.

Apparently Slow and Pretty stayed in pet-friendly La Quinta in Greensboro with not a shred of remorse for leaving their pets at home. Go figure.

At any rate Sports Fans, it’s anybody’s guess where our two lesbians will be this Easter Sunday, but The Red Man isn’t counting on the annual Easter Egg Hunt in the back yard this year. Oh, well. March Madness only comes once every April so let them have their fun.

Get me outta here Percy…I need to review my scouting report on Notre Dame.

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