Hey! Who’s Missing Around Here?

Oh, for the love of Sweet Lady Gaga.

Did anyone ASK me about a vacation?  Did anyone bother to tell The Red Man btw the old woman Slow and Pretty are headed to Mexico for a few days…I’m sorry to say I don’t think so. I haven’t had the first phone call, either, since they’ve been gone.  Worthless.  Totally worthless.  It’s impossible to find good help these days.

Hm…I am wondering about cause for termination…of employment – not of the old woman.  Heh, Heh.

Sigh.  Thank goodness for the substitutes who are taking care of the Three Musketeers in their absence.  Unfortunately, none of them have editorial skills.  Oh well, you can’t have everything.

Get me outta here Percy…I’ve got to find out where Puerto Vallarta is…I guess I’ll need a GLOBE…

 

 

 

 

So Much for Bird Brains – GERMANY Wins World Cup!

Well Amigos so much for the New Caledonian Crows and their predictions in FIFA Finals.  That’s the problem with putting your money on a sure thing BEFORE the game is played.  Germany hadn’t heard of New Caledonia or their crows and won the World Cup with great defense and a young player named Mario Goetze.  He scored the lone goal in a game that went into extra time and gave the FIFA Followers a breathtaking conclusion to the weeks of contests in Brazil that ended in an awesome night in Rio de Janeiro.

The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to FIFA for a Fabulous time in 2014…

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Colorful conclusion to the World Cup

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Por favor, Dios

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Germany’s Goetze is thankful his prayers were answered

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Germany’s coach celebrates with his goalkeeper

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Goetze savors the moment

 

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Winning

 

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Losing

 

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He couldn’t believe his eyes

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Taking any comfort that you can

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No, No, No.

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Oh, yeah – this is how I want to remember it

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 The icing on the cake – going home to Germany

And so Sports Fans the saga that started many moons ago has now come to an end, and The Red Man has to admit to a certain amount of relief.  Casa de Canterbury will now go into Ws Withdrawal – Wimbledon and World Cup gone.  Adios .  Goodbye.  Thanks to everyone involved in making this FIFA a major success.  We can’t even imagine how many gazillions of dollars must have been spent in Brazil and London, too, in the past six weeks.  Shit house mouse.

Oh, well.  Back to country classics for the old woman Slow and Pretty will be in charge of nighttime entertainment now.  Also, very suspicious undercurrents at the Casa the past few days.  Slow is counting her pills and Pretty is packing a suitcase – I sniff a trip – and I don’t think it’s to Texas.  Stay tuned.

Get me outta here Percy…I need to check on the old Dodge Dakota that died last week…to repair or not to repair, that appears to be the question…

FIFA and a Bad Moon Rising

Oh, wow so tomorrow is the FIFA Finale and The Red Man is bummed out because his remaining favorites Brazil and The Netherlands were eliminated.  Poor old Brazil – Germany put an old-fashioned ass kicking on them and it was their party anyway and what an unhappy ending for them. Bad news all around for the Brazilians who are now between a rock and a hard place for the finale.  They hate Argentina at some deep level and how can you root for Germany after that disastrous semi-final.  Sweet Lady Gaga.  It’s a mess.

Our Dutch amigos are holding up much better than we expected.  They’ve had lots of practice at being good sports after losing.  They were Gamecock fans back in the pre-Spurrier era when our seasons in American football were less than stellar.

But the good news today is The Red Man can announce the winner in advance of the Last Game because of his connection to the New Caledonian Crows.  New Caledonia is an island somewhere in the South Pacific and it is evidently home to a large group of crows that can accurately predict the outcomes of the FIFA games.  The process is quite complicated but the results are fool-proof.  Well, really is anything totally fool-proof in this day and age, but hang on to your cell phones and put your bookies on speed dial…

Winner:  Argentina!!

Put that in your pipe and smoke it…

Get me outta here Percy…Argentina players are singing Bad Moon Rising tunes in their locker room and the moon was so full last night we heard them all the way in South Carolina…

 

In the End, DJOKO has the MOJO!

Well Amigos, The Red Man says thank you to the Sports Gods for FIFA since Wimbledon has wound down today and Casa de Canterbury will be doing some heavy Yellow Ball Withdrawal in the next few days.  Honestly, what the women lacked in excitement in their Wimbledon final as Kvitova worked over Big Bang Bouchard who went out with hardly a whimper, the men made up for in fine fashion as Novak Djokovic squeezed by the I’m-not-ready-to-retire Roger Federer in five sets.  Pretty was devastated since she is the President of the Federer Fan Club at Casa de Canterbury.

 

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Federer and Djokovic all smiles before Gentlemen’s Final 

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ESPN announcers all smiles, too

 

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Roger’s twin girls sit with their mother and watch Daddy play

more smiles all around for Myla Rose and Charlene Riva Federer

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Oh No – Daddy didn’t win!

No, little twin girls who now have new little twin baby brothers Leo and Lenny, Daddy didn’t win but some day you will know what John McEnroe means about your dad when he says he loves to win more than he hates to lose.  In other words, the Federer Family’s Future includes more tennis.  Pretty and other Fed Followers will live to dream another day.

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Novak embraces his new coach Boris Becker after the match

Boris won Wimbledon back in the good old days

when his hair was the color his face is today

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In the end, Djokovic had the Mojo…

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and the final smile

The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to Novak and Roger for their great plays and courage in the face of adversity.  The final battles are often within ourselves, and Novak beat a bigger opponent than Roger today.  You can quote The Red Man on that one.

Get me outta here Percy…I’m looking for some FIFA Fever meds to save me from Yellow Ball Withdrawal…have a great week Sports Fans and thanks for hanging in there with us for Wimbledon again this year – You’re the Best!

 

FIFA Players Fearless

Well Amigos, the 4th. of July is winding down at Casa de Canterbury as firecrackers boom around us and we await the arrival of Pretty who has put in a full day of work at the Mast General Store.  We missed her in the bleacher seats and sadly, she missed seeing her most favorite of all tennis players Roger Federer as he won his match in the  Wimbledon semifinal today to advance to the final on Sunday.  He will play Novak Djokovic – so much for Generation Next.  The Big Four remain Big.

Meanwhile across the oceans and time zones other Europeans were playing their version of football in the FIFA World Cup in Brazil.  The Germans outlasted the French and they move on to those semifinals and will play the host country which defeated Colombia in another close game.

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Number 1 for today

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Overcome by Victory – Brazilian player

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Overcome by Defeat – Colombian teammates

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Comrades in competition

not sure about shirt exchange after match but

if that’s what they do, then we’ll roll with it

The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to all the FIFA players and has a new respect for these warriors who run around without pads or helmets or any protection and get banged up on a regular basis.  Sweet Lady Gaga, these guys are fearless.

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Rough stuff – Brazilian star Neymar goes down

taken to hospital afterwards

Let’s hope Neymar recovers in time for the semifinal against Germany and that everyone’s bumps and bruises will be better by the next game.  It’s a jungle out there. Heh, heh.  No, seriously, the FIFA teams have to play in a jungle sometimes.

Tomorrow morning we’ll be up for Breakfast at Wimbledon and the Ladies’ Final.  Big Bang Bouchard and left-handed Czech Kvitova will provide the fireworks for us for sure.

Get me outta here Percy…The Red Man needs to find his ear plugs…we’re celebrating Independence Day with a bang up in here…

Big Bang Bouchard

Well Amigos, The Red Man has received a lot of complaints about his sexist coverage of Wimbledon this year - maybe not a lot, but at least one complaint from Pretty.  She wants to know why I don’t ever mention the women of Wimbledon.  Good question, Pretty.  After all, the bleacher seats at Casa de Canterbury are filled for the women’s matches, too.

At any rate, today was The Ladies Semifinals and with Serena and Sharapova out of the running, some unfamiliar faces played on Centre Court.  We all were glued to the action.

 

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Two left-handed Czechs played each other -

they’ve been playing together since they were children and now meet

on the green grass of the cathedral of tennis

Wow – what a tournament!

 

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Safarova hung tough for first set

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…but Kvitova hung tougher to win in two straight sets

She’s won Wimbledon before in 2011

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Spike was, like, did I miss something?

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Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea was, like, so what

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The Red Man guards the best bleacher seat in the house

taking a break before the second match

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Simona Halep played really well for a set…

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…but Eugenie Bouchard was the Real Deal today

and won in two straight sets

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Wimbledon fans love their tennis

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Chris Evert and Chris Fowler loved calling the match

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Big Bang Theory’s Jim Parsons and boyfriend loved sitting in the Bouchard Box

Jim’s come a long way from his roots in Spring, Texas

(which is not very far from Worsham Street)

Well, Sports Fans, we’ll be celebrating our national Independence Day on July 4th. which is tomorrow and we’ll have lots of fireworks popping in the city tonight and tomorrow night, too.  I heard the old woman Slow calling in a barbecue order for her and Pretty so here’s hoping for a few trickle-down treats as we spend the holiday at Wimbledon watching the men’s semis.

Wherever you are and however you celebrate, all of us at Casa de Canterbury wish you a Happy 4th. and a fabulous weekend to go with it!

Get me outta here Percy…I’m catching a whiff of barbecued chicken…my favorite…

NADAL: And For Me, Beach!

Well Amigos it’s been a rough day at Casa de Canterbury for the old woman Slow and Pretty and their favorites at FIFA and Wimbledon – a very rough day.  The Red Man knows when it’s time to lay low, and it’s time to lay low up in here tonight.

 

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And for me, beach!

Slow’s all-time favorite Rafael Nadal was beaten by a 19-year-old Aussie named Nick Kyrios who managed to serve an unbelievable thirty-seven aces and thoroughly frustrate Nadal who said in his press conference that it was hard to win when your opponent was serving 114 mph on their second serve.  That’s some serious smoke on the ball, Sports Fans, so Kyrios goes to the quarterfinals and Rafa plans to head to the beach.  Vaya con Dios, good buddy, and enjoy the sun and surf.

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Nick Kyrios from Australia

Beating Nadal – Mission Possible

Now Slow and Pretty can join forces and hope that Roger Federer has one more Grand Slam left on his racket at Wimbledon this year…just one more for the Federer.  Heh, heh.

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Bigger Balls - Big Losses

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FIFA – Team USA against Belgium

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Belgian Sports Fans very happy!

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Belgian Coach also very happy

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Team USA not happy

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The agony and the ecstasy

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To the victor

The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to the Belgians and Nick Kyrios and all the other Big Winners on this first day of July that starts us on the downside of the year 2014 and he also sends a huge Bark Out to Rafa and Team USA and the other Big Losers for the great moments in sports that all of us in the bleacher seats at Casa de Canterbury have enjoyed in the past few weeks.  Slow and Pretty will just have to get over themselves and learn to be a little bit more positive in their negativity.  Seriously, these are two lesbians who need to get a life outside the sports arenas.

Get me outta here Percy…I need to tip-paw to bed…shhhh…catch you later…

Chile and Serena – Sent Packing

Question: What do FIFA Team Chile and Team Serena Williams have in common today??

Answer:  Both teams are packing their respective bags and headed home.

The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to Brazil for the 3 – 2 heart-stopping win over Chile at the World Cup today and to Alize Cornet of France for her history-making win over Serena Williams at Wimbledon in the third round.

 

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Alize Cornet and Serena Williams shake on it

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Alize does a victory dance

That’s what you do when you’re 20…

and you’ve just beaten Number One

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Serena ponders the meaning of life

2014 is not her best year

Meanwhile, across the waters and miles from continent to continent, our Brazilian Amigos celebrate Big Time along with our Colombian Sports Fans who defeated Uruguay and kept their dreams alive to win it all in Brazil next month as FIFA Fever continues nonstop.  Well, maybe not nonstop.

As for Wimbledon, Pretty keeps Faith with Federer as he goes for his eighth singles title on the green, green grass he calls home.  Pretty loves Roger and wants to see him win just one more…for the good times.

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Chris Evert loves Roger, too

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What’s not to love?

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The old woman Slow loves Chris…

thanks for the tennis memories Missy Chrissie

Well Amigos Sunday is the day of rest and all of our cast members at Casa de Canterbury could use one.  We’re taking the day off to save up for next week’s excitement as balls big and small are kicked and whacked around with reckless abandon all over the world.

Get me outta here Percy…The Red Man is a doggie on the edge tonight…

FIFA and RAFA: Moving On!

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Team USA loses to Germany 1 – 0

Well, Amigos, Casa de Canterbury has joined the FIFA Frenzy in 2014 but we are in a Catch 22 because we are also caught up in Wimbledon tennis these days so thank God for the DVR thingie.  Be still my heart.  We have so much international viewing to do we seem to be dog tired, if you catch my drift.

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Pretty studies FIFA rules

Pretty multi-tasks at night and tries to figure out how the USA advances to the next round of FIFA when it loses to Germany today.  Apparently there is some mysterious system and a Wizard in the land of FIFA Oz rolls a pair of dice and makes it a crap shoot for which teams move on.

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Who cares about the system?

We’re still in the hunt

Meanwhile, across the Pond and Time Zones in Cyberspace, Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer also advance past the slippery second round at the Wimbledon tennis tournament so Pretty and Slow can both be happy.  Happiness oozes at Casa de Canterbury tonight…

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Rafa Nadal’s coach Uncle Tony very worried today

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Rafa also worried in second set tiebreak

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But he rallied and won in 4 sets

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Warning: Adult Material

Oops – a little late on that warning

And so we come to the end of a very busy day for all of us in the bleacher seats.  Not everyone at Casa de Canterbury shares the enthusiasm of the two sports-nuts lesbians who are in charge of our daily lives.

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Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea prefers

chasing the ball to watching it on TV

Get me outta here Percy…I think I hear the pellets hitting the food bowls downstairs…

Time Stood Still

Well Amigos the USA game with Portugal in the Amazon jungle of Brazil where it was hot and humid ended in a 2 – 2 tie tonight, and Pretty and the old woman Slow are staring at each other in disbelief.  How Team USA was able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory with fewer than thirty seconds left we will never know, but there you have it. Wham, bam thank you ma’am.  If only time hadn’t stood still in the extra five minutes.  That fifth minute was the killer.

Since nobody at Casa de Canterbury is on top of this futbol thing, Pretty spent the second half googling up the rules to explain to Slow who was trying to take pictures but unfortunately her new camera which she had to buy because she dropped the old one on the floor and broke the flash takes blurry pictures.  Serves her right.  I hate the flash thing anyway.

Therefore Sports Fans we have no digital images that are fit to publish tonight.  Tsk. Tsk. My editor/photographer is way slack.  Unprepared.  She should have checked her equipment before game time.  I am giving her a yellow card which is handed out by FIFA refs for unsportsmanlike conduct and a bunch of other things.  Whatever, if you get two yellow cards you get a red card and you’re out.  I like that better than the three strikes thing.

Speaking of strikes, Slow’s Longhorns got hooked by Vandy last night and are out of the College World Series in Omaha.  Bummer for her.  She conveniently can’t locate her orange cap tonight, I see.

Get me outta here Percy…in training for Wimbledon and TV lag…starts tomorrow at 5:00 a.m.