Well, sports fans, never let it be said that I’m not neighborly. So, this is how it’s all gone down up to this point. Our story begins last week when the Little Women of Worsham Street came to our house for wine and whatever. Badger broke the bad news to me that night.
“Hey, Red, Opie’s gone. He got out this afternoon when Mama Carol opened our front door, and he hasn’t come back,” Badger told me in his little yap-yap manner.
“Take it easy, take it easy,” I said. “You’re getting hysterical, and your little yap-yaps are making me nervous. Now, first of all, do I know Opie? Because if I don’t know him, I’m thinking I don’t care that he’s gone. So, who is he?”
“He’s one of us. You know, the Worsham Street Gang. It’s me, Stoney LaRue, Clare, Bickford and Opie. We all live with Mama Carol, and she’s upset that Opie got out today,” yap-yap-yap.
“Hold on, hold on, hold on! I don’t know any Worsham Street Gang. As far as I knew, you were the only one living in that house with Carol. If there’s a Gang in there, you should have told me before now, you little nut case! Gang, I mean Gang, I mean I try to avoid Gangs at all costs. Why didn’t you tell me there was a Gang in your house, you moron?”
“I’m sorry, Red, I thought you knew. I really did. Here, let’s play chase for a while until you calm down some. Wheeee, this is fun, let’s run and play!” yap-yap-yap.
So, that’s how I found out that Opie was gone. As I began to unravel the identity of the Worsham Street Gang, I discovered that the other members were of the feline variety, as in C-A-T-S. Which means that Badger lives with Cats. Ok, now here’s where my level of tolerance amazes me. Everybody knows that dogs don’t like cats and vice versa, right? I mean, that’s like a given historical fact. Remember Garfield and Odie? But, Badger is part of a Gang of Cats, and he doesn’t even know that’s a problem. He LIKES them and PLAYS with them, for God’s sake. So, far be it from me to rain on his CAT parade. It can rain Cats AND Dogs for all I care. Heh, heh. My little joke for today.
Since Opie still hasn’t returned, Slow and I conducted a massive search for him this morning on our walk. See what a nice guy I am?? How many dogs would spend their leisure time looking for a cat? (Don’t answer that question.)
At any rate, I was like a detective looking for an escaped convict. We searched everywhere for several blocks. We even went down the Mystery Lane behind Lisa’s house where the Horrible Peeps lived, but no luck anywhere. It’s like Opie has vanished. Carol has put up pictures of him with all of her info – just like the Wanted posters in the post office. She’s put them on every street corner on our side of Highway 105. And no Opie. No sightings of a big old orange cat with streaks of white. No meows.
Well, folks, that’s about it for now. I’d hoped to be able to write Mystery Solved, but I failed my mission today. I guess it turns out I do care for my little buddy Badger’s friend, feline or not, and I’ll keep looking until he comes home.