Just look at her, will you? Running around the house pushing the Dreaded Loud Machine from room to room as it rolls along sucking up minute particles of dust that will be right back as soon as she unplugs that miserable contraption. I hate it, hate it, hate it. She thinks she’s so clever to set up that baby gate to keep me away from it, but I’ll just bide my time until I can get a good crack at it. Any second now. Whoever invented Loud Machines should be shot – no good comes from them. No good, no good, no good…oh, I feel a snit coming on. Somebody Stop Me – I’m knocking the gate down and biting the Loud Machine, even as I bark!!! Grrrrrrrrr….Grrrrrrrrrrr…..Grrrrrr….Got it, dammit to an ignominious end in a scrap heap in Conroe, Texas!!! Take that, you cur!!! And that, too, you vile creature without a soul!!!
Well, thank you very much and slap me silly. The old vindictive woman has thrown me out of my own house and tossed me in the front yard. Well, I never. Try to perform an intervention and help somebody, for God’s sake, and this is the gratitude you get. I ask you, which is more important, a so-called vacuum cleaner or moi? I suppose it’s best to make that a rhetorical question today, if you catch my drift.
Yes, indeed, all the signs are here this afternoon. She’s picking up paw-paws and putting them in her baskets. Heh, heh. My little joke for today. Remember that silly song? Along the same lines as three itty fishes in an itty bitty pool, and they swam and swam all over the dam. Good grief. My mind overflows with bullshit today. But, the upshot is that we’re blowing this popsicle stand and saddling up to head north and east early tomorrow a.m. Yep, the Lone Ranger and Tonto, her loyal sidekick (which is guess who?) , will load up in the pickup and make tracks for Pretty and the Gang.
Ride, ride, ride…I don’t relish all that traveling with Slow, but let me just rest up this afternoon and prepare myself mentally for the trip. I’ll have to say goodbye to all of my Texas friends today – that won’t take long. I’ll miss Badger with his silly puppy self. Fric and Frac behind me – they truly get on my nerves and are totally unremarkable dogs, so I think I’ll skip out and leave them wondering where I am, should they suddenly develop intellectual curiosity. Then, there’s Lexie and Toolie and Miss Scarlett at Jon and Dana’s house. I mildly like them. At least, they have some Personality, so I’ll try to catch them at the fence for bidding them adieu. And, that’s about it. Oh, I almost forgot. I’ll especially miss the Little Women of Worsham Street. They have entertained me endlessly since I’ve been here, and I am making a mental note to bring red wine with me when I come back! They LOVE red wine as much as they love me. Hmmm…maybe more.
Nap time, sports fans.