Zippity-do-dah, zippity-ti-yay.   My, oh my, what a wonderful day!   Plenty of sunshine headin’ my way, zippity-do-dah, zippity-ti-yay.   Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder,  dumtedumdum…whatever.   Okay, I’m ready to rumble with my Peeps and my South Carolina Gang.   These other three dogs can’t keep a secret so they told me that they had this Secret Place they’d been going to with Pretty while I was in Texas and that it was the BEST place ever because you could just run and run and run without any leashes or anything like that.   Even that soulful-eyed Ollie liked it and he said I’d be LOVING being able to be Free at last, thank God Almighty, I would be free at last.   Ollie knows how I enjoy a good taste of freedom.   Usually I have to provide my own opportunities for running free and it always creates so much horror for the Peeps that they try to spoil my good times.   Why would anyone want to spoil my good times?

So I’ve been back home in SC for a week and not one trip to the Secret Place.   But today Annie and Chelsea and Ollie seem to think Pretty is planning on taking us there so I’m all about that.   Look at that pathetic Slow dragging along behind everybody heading to the truck.   We’re like a train, and Slow is the Caboose.  Heh, heh.   In more ways than one.  The old woman hasn’t been quite 100% since our ride back from Texas.   She’ll probably recover just in time to start back down there.   I hope I never turn into a dud like her.  Oh, well.   Good thing Pretty loves her.  

I’m the boss, I’m the boss, I’m the boss of everybody!   Do you hear me?   Grrrrrrrrrrrrr….grrrrrrrrr……step away from the front seat…I’m sitting up here with Slow, and the rest of you can kiss my ass!!!   I think I’ll  bark all the way to the Secret Place just to get revved up for my fun.   Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about – I’ll bark, I’ll bark, I’ll bark…What’s that you say, Pretty?   Did you tell moi to shut up?   Well, surely you know me better than that.   I am quiet when I CHOOSE to be quiet, and today I’m ready to PAR-TY!!   Sometimes I get on Pretty’s nerves, bless her heart, but I was born to be BAD, born to be WILD so get your motor running, Pretty, and hitch a ride on the Red Train.   Woohoo!!

Hey, this must be the Secret Place.   All right, get this truck door open and I’m outta here, Slow.   For once, those other three schmucks were on to something – this place is GREAT!!!   Eat my dust, you Big Lopers – I’ll show you how a little dog makes tracks.   Zoom!   Zoom!   Zoom!   I’m here, I’m there, I’m Everywhere!!   I am partying today, and this place is fabulous.   Didn’t I hear somewhere about Wide Open Spaces?   Well, brother, they ain’t just in Wyoming.   This is about as wide and open as I’ve ever seen.   The Secret Place Rocks!

Whoa, Nellie…not so fast, Happiness.   I see some other dogs racing toward me, and they don’t look too friendly, either.   Hey, what’s up with you guys?   Grrrrrrrrrrrrr…….grrrrrrrrrrrrr…..grrrrr…no fair ganging up on the little dog, you over-testosteroned mutts!   Ollie, Annie, Chelsea – can I get a little help for your little brother over here?   Well, thanks very much for nothing.   We’ll see what happens the next time one of you has a little trouble.   Grrrrrrrrrr…….grrrrrrrrr……these guys are serious!   Of course, thank God for the nice Peep that belongs to them.   She’ll make sure they behave with a little more respect for moi.   Thanks for the help, O Peep who understands the situation.   I like you a lot.

So, off they go to frolic in the wide open spaces.   Except for one.   Excuse me, do I know you?   I thought not.   And, can I tell you frankly that assaulting me with your buddies doesn’t make for a good first impression?   I’m not sure who started all that ruckus, but I’m thinking it wasn’t you or you wouldn’t have stayed around to make friends.   You ARE staying around to make friends, right?   Because if you’re not, I am SO out of here, MJ.   I believe that’s your name?  MJ?   Right.   Well, I always say all’s well that ends well, and I’m not one to harbor a grudge.   So, I’ll just let bygones be bygones and I’m gone.  

The Secret Place was All That, and I can’t wait for another trip.   I hope to see my new friend MJ, too.   You see, sometimes good things happen after disastrous beginnings if you’re open to a little dose of forgiveness.   And, of course, I am the model for peace and tranquility.   Did you get that?   I said, I am the model for peace and tranquility, and don’t you forget it!!