Zippity-do-wah-diddley-woo-hoo-wah-day!! Is there no end to the kindness of strangers? Who knew that getting the oil changed in Slow’s old truck that has about as many miles on it as she does could offer the opportunity to make a favorable impression by moi on a Peep with a pup that’s looking for some fun times? Life is good, and the Red Man has the moves to make it better. Take that to the bank. On second thought, don’t bother with taking anything to the bank. I’ve found that everything I put in the bank disappears as soon as I deposit it. Hello out there – whoever you are that makes the bones vanish – please bring them back! I may need some treats for a honey pie, if my account’s good for them. This chick sounds like she deserves only the best!
Here’s my pleasant surprise in the email pouch today. Read it and weep, Ollie. Watch the old master at work. This one may be the Real Deal.
“Dear Red,
You don’t know me, but I feel that I already know you. My Granddaddy Peep met you at the Jiffy Lube yesterday and told me all about you. He said that you are very handsome for your age and that you have the best doggie manners he’s ever seen in a Peep waiting room. He thought you are very intelligent and sweet. You sound like someone I need to meet. I’m a bitch with a brain and a body that’s awesome, and I love a mature guy. I think we have a lot in common, don’t you?
Looking for Mr. Gooddog,
Penny”
“Dear Penny,
Thank you so much for your kind email. Yes, it was delightful to meet your Granddaddy Peep in the waiting room of the Jiffy Lube because I must admit I had dreaded opening that door. I have a tendency toward nervousness in those awkward Peep situations. However, I was equally impressed with your Grandaddy Peep and his stories about his dog Jack and his daughter’s dog Penny. He described you with great affection and said that he was sorry his daughter had taken you with her when she moved from their house. You must really be special to have all of these Peeps wanting you with them. And you know what? You deserve a special man in your life. I might just be that man. I’m a little miffed about your GD Peep’s comment that I am ‘handsome for my age.’ I assure you that I am a good looking guy for any age, so you can rest assured that my rock solid appearance matches my mature and sensitive nature. We do have much in common. Keep in touch!
The Red Man”
And that, Ollie and all of you other Red wannabes, is how you weave the magic that makes the women want you. It’s all about being Cool and Cute and learning to speak their language. Be positive and add a touch of macho for good measure. Hooking up isn’t what it used to be, and the Jiffy Lube isn’t the Dairy Queen, but you have to stay open to new scenes and unlikely waiting rooms. You never know who you’ll meet and how your life will change, but you have to go through the door to find out.
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