Some days you just know it’s all about good times! As soon as I saw that we were all loading up in the pickup I knew we were going to the Secret Place. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!! Of course, Pretty was all set to go – she always drives – but then we had to wait for Slow to catch up. I swear that old woman’s pills must have something in them that puts her in Perpetual Slow Motion. Will you please hurry up? We are WAITING for you, if you don’t mind pushing it to one gear higher than the one you usually use, thank you very much.
Zippity do dah, zippity ay. My, oh, my, what a wonderful day. And I’m talking bright, sunshiny day with perfect temp and everything. Look at that blue sky. Could the day be any more perfect? The Red Man is ready for some FREEDOM, and I can feel the Soul Train pulling out of the station called Dull and Boring. Open that door, and I’m outta here, Slow!
Oh, yeah, we’ve got a real pack going on today, too. That very nice woman who was here the other day has brought her dogs Harley and Noah and that little Mr. Particular MJ. I’ll have to put him in his place before he even gets started with moi. And I see the other black dog who really lives here has discovered a ball and is fixated on chasing it. Good luck with that. Chelsea will take it right out from under her nose as soon as Pretty throws it for her. I don’t get the black dogs’ fascination with running full tilt, picking up the same tired worn-out tennis ball, and taking it to Pretty. Over and over again. What a waste. Hey, wake up and smell the Freedom, black dogs! You’re doing the same thing you can do in the privacy of your own back yard. Don’t you get it? This place is all about letting go and getting out of our RUTS! Hopeless.
Oh, well, who cares? I’m racing everywhere as fast as I can. I can play with Ollie and Harley and the other Big Dogs, but they know I’m the Red Man, and I’m BAD. Of course, Slow and Pretty and the Nice Woman are all talking while Pretty throws the ball, and that’s fine with me. I’ve got miles to run before I sleep. Watch my dust – my legs may be the shortest ones out here, but I KNOW they’re the fastest. Zippity, zippity, zippity…piss, run, piss, run, run, get around, I get around.
Oh, my gosh, they’re all going back to the pickup. Can’t I stay longer, Pretty? Slow, oh, Slow, earth to Slow, hello in there, is anybody home? Please let me play longer. I”M BEGGING YOU! I don’t want to go back yet…
Hey, you know what? I don’t have to go back. Heh, heh. Look at them loading those Big Dogs in our truck and the Nice Woman’s VW yellow convertible. That’s a very cool car, I think. Now’s my chance! I’m sneaking through these woods and extending my FREEDOM. By the time they figure out I’m not with them, I’ll be long gone. Yessiree, I am the Red Man on a roll. No need to look for me. Now you see me, now you don’t.
Yippee, yippee, yippee! Just look at all of these nice mobile homes back here on this Dead End dirt road. Why, there must be a dozen of them. I can run, run, run down this road and then…Hey, get your hands off me, you big lug. I don’t know you, do I? Oh, for God’s sake. He’s found Pretty’s phone number and is calling her right this minute. Give me a break. Do you have to call right this minute? Can’t you see I’m on the Freedom Trail? Sigh. No time to bond, but I see he has the good manners to offer me something to eat. Sniff, sniff, sniff. Very nice. I like you already, but here comes Pretty and Slow and the Gang so I’ll just be going along with them, if you will. Thanks very much for your hospitality. I think we had some possible magic together, but you’re exactly like all the other ones who’ve found me.
Now Pretty and Slow are mad at me. I can see that. Any fool can see that. They’ll get over it like they always do when I make one of my mad dashes for Something Else or Somewhere Different. Why do I do it? Why do I do it? Why do I do it? I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the Call of the Wild. Well, snap my paws and bark at the moon. That’s the answer. It’s the Call of the Wild Blue Yonder. Some of us have it. Some of us don’t. Put me in category one, and keep Pretty’s phone number on my tag.
Now this is Red’s Rants and Raves and Runs!!!
Exactly! So happy you could be there to participate in his adventure!