Drink up, drink up, drink up!   I’ve gotta store me up some heavy libations tonight because I see we’re making tracks to blow this popsicle stand tomorrow.   Poor old Slow has trudged around and gotten a gazillion boxes packed for this little adventure, but that’s never a clear indication that we’re really GOING anywhere yet.   The old girl takes forever to do anything these days.   But, tonight Pretty is in high gear and racing to and fro with clothes and odds and ends, so that MEANS something.   When Pretty gets involved, you know things will pop!   And soon.

The only mystery is who stays home when we leave.    Anyone for a vote?   I say we leave the Big Gray Smokey Lonesome dog in South Carolina since he’s got those shifty eyes with different colors.   Seriously, can you ever really trust a dog with one blue eye and one brown one?   (Except for you, Badger, of course.   And I will see you soon, kiddo.)    But, then, I can’t say the black lab Chelsea would be my choice to make this trip, either.   She takes up so much room in the truck and has a tendency to slobber when she’s nervous.   And I take it she must be very nervous when she travels, if you catch my drift.   So that leaves my old gal pal Annie.   Hmmm…she definitely gets a thumbs up for the ride to Texas.   She’s no trouble for moi at all.   Stays by herself in the back seat and sleeps most of the time.   I vote for Annie to go.   Yep, Annie’s my winner by a landslide.   Here’s looking at you, Annie, and I hope they spiked the water tonight.   I think I’d be in a little better frame of mind if I had a hangover tomorrow when we pull out because it might slow me down a little.

Traveling makes me jumpy, jumpy, jumpy.   I’m not sure why, and my therapist advises pills without delving into the issues that create my anxiety.   Issues, issues, issues.    See, there I go again.   Always trying to solve an issue before it becomes a problem that leads to a catastrophe – to no avail.   Every time I get in the truck I’m afraid that danger lurks all around me.   People look sinister when I see them through the windows, and the noises are horrendous.   Try passing an 18-wheeler that sounds like a tornado!   Shudder…shudder…Yegads!   No wonder I’m jumpy!   The Peeps in this world are too noisy and moving too fast!   I swear I’ll have to close my eyes and bark as loud as I can to keep the Road Devils away!!

Speaking of Devils which leads me to Angels, I want to assure all of my Harley Davidson friends that I love them dearly and hope to see them soon at a rest stop on the drive to Texas.   Don’t believe all that nonsense about my comments on your “look.”   Not a word of truth to them, let me tell you.   Love those pigtails and leather and the body ink is fabuloso!!

One more sip, and I’m done.   I’m the Red Man, and I’m ready to rumble tomorrow.   For tonight, though, I’ll see you in my dreams.

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