I can’t really fault Slow for taking us down the railroad tracks today. I’d seen it coming for a while on other walks we’d made when we crossed the tracks off Old Plantersville Road behind Worsham Street. Yessirree, seen it coming, seen it coming, felt it, knew it, smelled it! She’d stand for a few seconds at the railroad crossing and wistfully look up the tracks and then she’d look longingly down the tracks and of course, then she’d whip out the Magic Cell Phone Camera and take a picture of the railroad crossing signs and then she’d keep walking on Old Plantersville Road. So, I saw the handwriting on the wall for sure. It was just a matter of time, and today the old woman and Time caught up with each other.
We got an early start on our walk this morning, and I twirled and barked and carried on like a son-of-a-gun when Slow hooked me up to my leash and opened our front gate to leave the yard. I like to make a Big Scene when I leave for my walks – just in case that crazy Buddy from across the street is anywhere around. He’s been so bizarre lately with his jumping the fence bullshit. Not that I care what he thinks, but I like to let him know that The Red Man is taking a Peep for a walk. He’s Badger’s daddy, and they look alike with those different colored eyes like You-Know-Who in South Carolina. One blue eye. One brown eye. Sound familiar??
I gotta tell you I’m worried I know so many dogs with different colored eyes lately and I’m sorely afraid they’re taking over the dog kingdom. I mean, give me a break. These are supposed to be your minority dogs, for God’s sake, and they’re EVERYWHERE!! That’s the problem with a minority group. You think you can control ’em and keep ’em in a kennel somewhere, and Boom! The next thing you know there’s one on every street corner from South Carolina to Texas…Geez Louise. Shit-house mouse. I guess pretty soon they’ll want to be an AKC Registered Breed. Now what, pray tell, would their category be? I can hear the announcer on the tv next month during the Westminster Kennel Club Show. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new group this year, the Cujo Group. This group can be tall or short and the coats may vary in color, but they must have one blue eye and one brown eye. The blue eye should be clear enough to see through and should resemble a marble, and the brown eye should be as dark as the devil himself!
Heh, heh. I seem to have gotten on a tangent tonight and off track. Get it?
Back to the track story. Our walk had gone well. It was a beautiful sunshiny zippity-do-dah day, and my mood was upbeat. I have to confess I was glad to get out of the house. I’d had a little too much togetherness with Slow and needed a breath of fresh air, if you will. I sniffed and pissed to my heart’s content with very few distractions as we made our way down OPR. We crossed the tracks and walked almost to the Montgomery City Limit sign without a hitch. As we came around the last curve before the sign, I couldn’t believe it. A path had been cleared from the highway through the woods to the railroad track just like Moses had parted the waters of the Red Sea. I practically heard bells go off in Slow’s head as she pulled me toward the tracks.
I had this vision of what an adventure it would be to strike out fearlessly down the tracks. Brother, was I in for a shock! The first problem was all those rocks in between the railroad ties and stacked along both sides of the tracks. I couldn’t find any place to walk without rocks. Big, pointed, jagged gray rocks. I’ve got paws as tough as SuperPup’s, but those things were killing my feet. So, I decided to try to walk on the black wooden ties, but that led me to the second problem which was the SMELL of the wood. I heard Slow muttering something about creeosokes or whatever, and it turned out to be some kind of vile odor, let me tell you. How bad was it? It was so bad I went back to the rocks. And we walked…and we walked…and we walked some more. I thought we’d NEVER find our way back to the crossing, and I could have licked that paved road when my weary paws touched it at last!
Needless to say, I’m thrilled to be inside the house tonight with the old girl and the season finale of The Closer. I hope that show wins a Golden Globe this year. It’s one of my favorites. And, I’ve learned a valuable lesson today: Having a path opened up for you doesn’t necessarily mean you should follow it. If all you see are rocks, I’d advise you to turn around and take the road you know.
I think I’ll call it a night, Sports Fans.