Pretty, Pretty, dear Pretty – Please save me from a tortuous trip with this old woman tomorrow!! She’s cleaning the house, and she ALWAYS cleans the house the day before we leave for some strange reason known only to her… I’m still on my meds and puked all over the front yard this morning and I just don’t want to get in the truck tomorrow and I think I’ll surely DIE if I have to ride a thousand miles in that rattle trap pickup!!! Save me, Pretty, oh, SAVE ME!!!
If only you could come down here and drive back with us, I KNOW I’d feel better…I love you so much, Pretty, and I’m telling you right now I’m SOOOOOOO sorry for all the times I get on your nerves and I won’t ever bark unnecessarily again. I won’t fling myself back and forth from window to window in the truck ever again. I won’t bite your fingers when you try to give me a treat ever again. I won’t run up and down the fences around our homes barking like a maniac ever again. I won’t lick Ollie’s ears ever again. I see the error of my ways, and I promise to be good if you will ONLY save me from Slow and the truck!!!
I know you secretly like moi the most, Pretty, and I’m counting on you to show The Red Man some love in this desperate situation,
Your Favorite Son,