I know, I know. The song is Ol’ Man River – not Ol’ Man Winter. Well, excuse me for living. I’m FEELING like Ol’ Man Winter tonight, so I’ll just make up my own lyrics as I go along, if you don’t mind. Okay, first of all, bad news. Pretty can’t come tomorrow. You heard me. No Pretty tomorrow, no Pretty tomorrow, not even a remote possiblity of Pretty tomorrow. Did you hear me??? I Said NO Pretty Tomorrow!! This is like the Worst Cosmic Joke Ever – Snow and Ice and Wintry Mix ALL over the South and particularly on Runways in AIRPORTS – definitely FOR SURE on Runways in AIRPORTS!! OMG, global warming has skipped the South, of all places for it to skip, and it’s keeping Pretty confined to our home in South Carolina. She might as well have a prison monitoring device on her ankle because Pretty isn’t going anywhere tomorrow. Oh, woe is me, woe is me. Maybe this is a SIGN that I shouldn’t ever promise to be good. Well, snap my paws as my own brilliance overwhelms me. That’s it – as soon as I promised Pretty I’d be good, global warming stopped on a dime and dumped Ol’ Man Winter Weather on the South. Yikes! Who knew The Red Man was so powerful???
Should I alert Al Gore? Nah…I don’t think so. Not unless I want to “nod off” before I finish writing. Heh, heh. My little joke for the night. I liked Al fine, but the guy was a bit of a dullard, if you will.
Slow is morose and in a snit over the newest dilemma. Should we go on without Pretty, or should we stay on Worsham Street until the Great Thaw, whenever that might be. To be or not to be. To go or not to go. ‘Tis the $125,000 question, which is the $64,000 question adjusted for an inflation index of + or – a bullshit percentage number. Heh, heh. I’m on a roll tonight.
Could be I haven’t slowed down since our Sunday afternoon visitors left. Slow’s cousins from Grimes County threatened and threatened and threatened to visit all weekend and this afternoon over they came. The Three Musketeers, or some variation thereof. At any rate, I’m not sure if they like Slow or her liquor cabinet better, but they put a Major Dent in the vodka supplies today. I like having some other guys around the house and these three guys are Peeps with Personalities who tell some great stories that make Slow laugh. Not a polite chuckle, either. I’m talkin’ guffaw here, and it must be a family trait because they ALL guffaw and guffaw and guffaw together. Hmmm…on second thought, maybe it’s not so much a family trait as it is the contents of that cabinet. Ya think? Anyway, I’m exhausted from so much merriment and look forward to a good night’s sleep.
Ol’ Man Winter, you better get outta my way, I’m warning you. You can huff and puff all you want to, but you can’t keep The Red Man down! I’m a Dog on the Edge, and I miss Pretty!