Woe is me, woe is me, WOE IS ME!! I am undone and so is my friend Buddy and my buddy Badger, too!! You won’t believe it – I know you won’t. I simply can’t utter the words because it’s such dreadful news for moi and family.
Neighbor Jon and his wife, one of the Little Women of Worsham Street, are moving. You heard it here first, brothers and sisters, they are MOVING from their house next door to ours in the ‘hood!!! I am wringing my paws tonight and trying to understand where things went wrong on Worsham. No more Lexie and Toolie and Miss Scarlett to bark at through the fence. Gone, gone, gone. No more Neighbor Jon to forget to securely shut our fence gate and allow The Red Man to escape for a madcap adventure across Highway 105!!! Horror of horrors, now there’ll be only Three Little Women left on Worsham. Impossible. Whoever heard of the Three Little Women? Hmmm…I’m thinkin’ Three Little Pigs, but never Three Little Women. Somebody slap me! Wake me from this nightmare! I am a wreck. Gone, gone, gone are the good old days, let me tell you.
And who will help the old woman Slow with her plum harvest this year? Who will climb the tall ladder and toss the ripe plums from the top of the tree in the back yard? Mother of God, who will make the Plum Jelly with her? All is lost. The daffy old twit will starve to death without Plum Jelly. Peeps cannot live by bread alone. Who don’t know dat? They must have peanut butter and Plum Jelly!
Well, Buddy, I see you staring at their house and wondering what will become of all of us, and I applaud you for your thoughtful consideration of our problems. The only silver lining is that I heard Slow and Pretty talking today and I will see you and Badger next week because we are driving home to Texas, and we will plot our strategy then for consoling ourselves and our Peeps.
What’s that you say?
They’re moving WHERE??
Across 105 and around the corner to Buffalo Springs? Within walking distance?