Well, the old woman Slow was fussing over the new license plates for the truck today. Personally, I like the Texas truck tags with The Lone Star State and patriotic colors going on. Unfortunately, there are TWO of them and evidently we’ve never had to figure out how to put one on the front of our Dodge Dakota. In South Carolina they figure one is plenty, but of course in Texas you can never have TOO many of anything – including license plates so you have to put one on the front bumper. Geez Louise. If you want to figure out a way to make a PRODUCTION of something, dial S for Slow. She can prolong the smallest job and then she’ll bumble along and get it done somehow like she did late this afternoon with a little help from one of the Little Women of Worsham Street. Major p-r-o-d-u-c-t-i-o-n but problem solved.
I guess that makes it official. I must be a Texas dog now since my truck says I am. Yee Haw – you’d better butter my butt and call me a Biscuit. I’m Down Home cookin’ with chicken fried steak and cream gravy, TexMex, beef barbecue with a ketchup-based sauce and hamburgers made with meat from the next pasture over. I’m Bluebonnets in the spring and home-grown tomatoes and plums in the summer. I’m football in the fall and rodeos year round. I’m Big Bend country in the West and Piney Woods in the East. I’m bright lights and big cities Houston and Dallas and San Antonio and Austin and I’m rural Richards and Montgomery and Navasota and Dobbin and Anderson. I’m mostly Cowboys who ride Horses and chase Cows. I’d wear boots with spurs if I had feet and a big ol’ hat if I didn’t have these pointed ears. Yessiree, yessiree, yessiree. The Red Man must be a Texas dog tonight if he drives a Texas truck, right?
Hold on a minute, pardner. Where’s Pretty tonight? Where’s Smokey Lonesome Ollie and Compulsive Tennis Ball Freak Chelsea and Annie of the Golden Years? Where’s Auntie Am and Smiley Boy and the Pretend Grandbaby Peep? Hmmm…deep in the heart of South Carolina…sigh. Huge dilemma. Oh, what to do? What to do? What to do?
Hey, I’ve got it! The Red Man must be a bi-stateual dog. Well, snap my paws and call me a linguist! I’m a bi-stateual! Keep the highways open, Sports Fans, The Red Man will head back to South Carolina before you can say The Eyes of Texas are Upon You!!