So, it’s the end of the month of April, and I can’t say I’m glad to see it go. I love April because I like to Pee on beautiful things like colorful flowers, green grass, white and pink dogwood petals that fall from the trees like snow, brown water puddles left by April showers – and just about anything else that doesn’t move. Yeah, nothing takes the place of a good Pee on something pretty, I always say. And April, well, as soon as you go outside, it’s a real dilemma to choose what to Pee on first because it’s all Good in the Hood. I’m talkin’ Primo Pee Potentials in the spring!!
The old woman Slow is up to her usual preoccupation with numbers and tells me I’ve written over 66,000 words in 123 posts during the past seven months and my Sports Fans have hit me 4,500 plus times to read what The Red Man feels compelled to rant and rave about!! Who knew I had this much to say, and could anyone have guessed the Peeps and Pups would care enough to read my random ramblings??
I suppose I should thank Slow and Pretty and Smokey Lonesome Ollie and Paw Licker Annie and Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea for their contributions to my commentaries, but, frankly, my dears, I really owe it all to moi. Without yours truly, the rest of the gang borders on boring except for Pretty who doesn’t need to do anything but look pretty and give me daily pets. I try my best to keep the household fired up and ready to go but it’s not easy. Nosirree, nosirree, nosirree. Sometimes I bark and twirl and jump around for the hell of it – just to see if they’re paying attention…heh, heh. You should see the look on their faces. Priceless…and worth the effort.
Well, Amigos, I thought you might enjoy a few glimpses of The Red Man’s work area where the Brain Trust works overtime when he’s living in Casa de Canterbury in South Carolina. These are the tools of my trade, if you will. The glasses belong to my editor, the old woman Slow. Sadly, they’re not much good to her so she doesn’t wear them when we’re working all the time any more. She’s got something called caddyracks in her eyes and she can’t see with or without the damn glasses. Dear God, she must be OLD. I may be looking for a new editor before long.
Wanted: Editor with Spunk – prefer hottie who doesn’t wear glasses. Personal interview a must. Low pay – great benefits. Outrageous attitude a plus. Literary skills not necessary. Apply right now, this minute. Contact The Red Man. You know where he is.
If I don’t hear from you before then, I’ll catch up with you in May, okay?