Did you guess Paw Licker Annie or Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea? Also wrong.
Did you guess Smokey Lonesome Ollie? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!! You win – God help me. I have been cooped up in the back seat of the Dodge Dakota with that big gray dog from 8:30 this morning when we left Columbia, South Carolina until almost 10 o’clock tonight when we pulled into our La Quinta near Baton Rouge, Lucy Anna. I can’t even count how many hours I rode because we entered a whole different time zone when we got to Ali Baba and I’m never sure whether I add or subtract an hour. Shit house mouse. I’m exhausted and I feel like I’m still riding. I’m jangling.
Oh, yes and by the way, we have a new Amiga Driver with the old woman Slow and me for this trip. Let me just say that SHE rode in the front seat and drove part of the way for us to give Slow a break on our marathon journey. Pretty won’t let Slow drive by herself to Texas any more and I totally get that, but did she have to send a whole TRUCK LOAD??? My God, I could barely breathe in the back seat and the new Amiga Driver GUARDED that front seat, let me tell you. No, no – keep out – was her motto. Hey, why don’t you put the old woman in the back seat, huh? Did you ever think about that? Sigh. Whatever.
The new AD runs a tight ship, though. Not even a Cold Cut Combo at the Subway for us. Walk, walk, walk. Piss, piss, piss. Poop, poop, poop. Ride, ride, ride. Doesn’t she know that we like to SNACK along the way?? Evidently not. Geez Louise. The Red Man needs to take control of this situation tomorrow.
Well, that’s it for tonight, Sports Fans! I’d better make nicey-nice with Smokey Lonesome – we’re in the same bed at the La Quinta. Trips to Texas make strange bedfellows…catch you later, gator.