Shit house mouse…I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!! The old woman Slow is as attracted to cemeteries as I am to cat poop in the yard. We were having one of our glorious Old Plantersville Road walks this morning and I was minding everyone’s business as I ran through the briars and ran through the brambles and ran through the bushes where the rabbits wouldn’t go — in the ditch next to OPR while Smokey Lonesome Ollie wimped out and opted for the paved road. It was a Zippity-do-dah Day with plenty of sunshine headin’ my way. Even Smokey Lonesome Ollie wasn’t working my last nerve like he usually does since he was walking with Amiga Driver who loves a good walk as much as the next Peep. Yessiree, yessiree, yessiree. What could possibly go wrong on such a beautiful morning with the skies the color of the crazy bluebird that lives in the crape myrtle in the front yard of our house on Worsham Street? That bird worries me with its incessant chatter and flitting from tree to tree. The Bluebird of Happiness it is NOT. However, I digress.
So we made our regular Country Walk and saw the H-O-R-S-E-S that Slow thinks are so GREAT and I’m wondering what in God’s name she possibly sees in those gigantic creatures on four legs that have the personality of a Pet Rock when all of a sudden she turns around and announces we’re going back because she wants to take a new route today. What’s that you say, Old Woman – a New Route??? We don’t like New – we like the Same Way Every Time!! We get NERVOUS when we take a New Route and besides that, what’s the point?? Why fix it if it ain’t broke??
And so we walked and walked on a different route and then, of course I got it. We had made this detour for yet another trip to a cemetery. That’s right, Sports Fans. The old girl just can’t stay away from ’em. Does anyone remember my last experience at a cemetery with the bull across the fence? I thought so, O Faithful Followers. If not, catch They Call Me Mister Red, Bull for a refresher. Sigh. I’m telling you Slow has a Cemetery Detector that sniffs them out and draws her in with a Magnet Magnum Force, but this time she went too far.
Get me outta here, Percy – I’ll face my mortality issues on a rainy day, if you don’t mind.