Well, Amigos, The French Open ended over the weekend and of course you had your winners and your Losers and I’m not just talkin’ on the red clay courts of Roland Garros. China took another giant step forward in taking over practically Everything in the Whole Peep World when their talented VIPeep Player Li Na beat Frankie Schiavone to win the Women’s Trophy. Yep, just another day at the office for the Chinese who everybody used to think were good in math and science and money and making stuff called Made In China but now it turns out they have Fabulous tennis players, too. Shit house mouse. Who knew?? So… Fabulous for China and Sucks the Big One for Italy.
And then came the Men Peep Finals and Oohlala Roger Federer matched up with Rafael Nadal. We had the house divided on this one, let me tell you. Pretty always pulls for Oohlala Roger and the old woman Slow loves Rafa. She thinks he sneers like Elvis Presley and she LOVED Elvis Presley and I’m not sure what that has to do with TENNIS but oh, well, when you get to be her age, it’s not about making sense so much as it is having your own OPINIONS about things and Slow is EAT UP with OPINIONS. Roger, Rafa – after HOURS of watching tiny yellow balls bounce on red clay with white lines drawn everywhere and a black net in the middle – then Roger, Rafa becomes kind of a Blur and The Red Man wouldn’t give a tinker’s dam for the difference between the two of ’em! Yeah, no kidding, but thanks anyway to the THREE TV channels that allowed us to stay tuned every minute of the day and night for two weeks. We’re talkin’ nonstop coverage. Tennis Channel, ESPN 2 and even our old flagship NBC – you guys gave Fabulous coverage when all I wanted was a good night’s sleep, so that Fabulous coverage sucks the Big One for moi. It’s all about perspective.
Roger, your French is Fabulous but your tennis sucked the Big One in the fourth set of the final and now I feel sorry for your wife and daughters who may possibly never see you win a Grand Slammer again. Rafa, your tennis was Fabulous but your French sucked the Big One. Come on, man. When you win The French Open six times, you need to speak a little more lingo than merci, boo coos. Seriously. After all, The Red Man knows more Spanish than you do French. Not a good sign.
And so we bid Adios to Gay Paree with its nasty red clay that ruins tennis shoes and socks and turn our gaze to the cleaner grassy courts of Wimbledon which is just around the corner this month. Before we leave, let’s take one last look at The Thin Line Between Fabulous and It Sucks the Big One at Roland Garros.
Li Na’s Husband
That’s it for tonight, Sports Fans – Pretty and Slow played cards this afternoon with the Shanghai Sisterhood of Columbia and managed to Suck the Big One by giving all their dinero (which is Spanish for money) to one of the Sisters called War Eagle Nan. She must be as Fabulous with cards as her football team was with scoring touchdowns this past season!