Hey, Amigos, thanks so much to all of you Well-Wishers for your concern for The Red Man’s Health and Happiness!   Don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t worry…Yours Truly doesn’t let a little thing like a visit to the Hottie Doc get him down for long!   Yeah, and thanks a lot to the Pack that lives with me for your LACK of concern…hmmm…get a load of Smokey Lonesome Ollie, for example.

Now, there’s a picture of UNCONCERN for a brother if I’ve ever seen one.  But, what do you expect from a Pup with one blue eye and one brown eye?   Geez, Louise.   CREEPY, CREEPY, CREEPY!   I swear I keep waiting for him to wake up one day with a little Pizazz, for God’s sake, but he is Pizazz-less!!   Can anybody spell B-O-R-I-N-G???

 Or, how about Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea?   Show me the LOVE, Sistah!!

Oh, Great – she’s probably looking for a tennis ball she can chase, chase, chase around and around and around and where she stops nobody knows!   I mean, what is the POINT, black lab?   You keep bringin’ it back and then waitin’ for the old woman Slow or Pretty to throw it again.   Seriously, you need to re-think your priorities and focus on The Red Man’s recovery from a hard week.   Tennis balls come and go, so give it a rest and play with me for once in your life.   I need some physical therapy.

And speaking of therapy…

Let’s not leave out the Grand Dame Herself, Paw Licker Annie.   Talk about a Head Case.   Dear God, she’s taking almost as many pills as Slow these days and she’s like the Energizer Bunny – she just keeps on lickin’.   Now she’s taking Xanax of all things to try to Mellow Her Out.   She oozes around the house and goes outside for a suntan and doesn’t give a shit about any of the rest of us for entertainment value or even Pack Bonding.   She’s like a combination of The Lone Ranger and The Queen of Sheba.   The Lone Queen of Ranger Sheba.  Heh, heh.   My little joke for the night.   At any rate, she’s shown no sign of interest in my ordeal, either.   So, no disrespect, bitch…but bite me.

So, Sports Fans, as you can see, The Red Man is back to his regular cheerful goodwill self and hoping that all of his Amigos have a fun-filled summer weekend and don’t mind me or my recovery from my travails of the past week.   I’m Better, and I’m still the Baddest Dog on the Internet!

Advertisement