Well, Amigos, I’m afraid the old woman Slow is sinking fast into the quicksand of despair as she enters her third week of Relentless Pain and Agony with the Shingles in her New Eye that she got after her Caddy Racks Surgery. Alas, she went back to Dr. Peep Feel Good yesterday for the sixth time (I’m not kidding!) since he operated on her Old Eye and gave her the New Eye two weeks ago and his advice was to re-fill all current prescriptions and continue to sit in dark rooms. I heard Slow tell Pretty last night when Pretty came home from the General Store that Dr. Peep Feel Good told the old woman he didn’t have a clue how long this would last but not to worry because “we” were attacking the villain from all sides with the best antiviral meds under the sun. And, then, Slow said he sent her off with an appointment to come back next week and his usual cheerful God bless you. Well, Pretty thinks all of the medical profession is in the same classification as all insurance companies which are scum of the earth in Pretty’s opinion and so she isn’t pickin’ up what Dr. Peep Feel Good is puttin’ down. And when Pretty gets riled, Casa de Canterbury erupts like Mount St. Helens did a few years ago. The situation can only be described in one word: Desperate…
Never fear, My Personal Peeps. The Red Man has a solution. We need a New Doc like my own Hottie Doc. We need Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman!!! Return with me now to those thrilling days of yesteryear when Frontier Dr. Quinn had a cure for all that ailed the Peeps!! It’s rainin’ cold hard facts up in here and we need us a Wise Woman to bring an umbrella of healin’ to Slow’s Evil Eye with its dendritic ulcer bad self. Help Us, Dr. Quinn, Oh Help Us because we are drownin’ in a sea of tears not caused by sadness but by a curse to an eye that pours enough water on a daily basis to stop a drought in a small country in Africa! Help Us, Dr. Quinn, Oh Help Us! We know that you are familiar with eye situations because you yourself have one hazel eye and one green one and that makes you an expert Eye Doctor.
( Hmmm…maybe we should’ve gotten Smokey Lonesome Ollie more involved in this Medical Dilemma since he also has one brown eye and one blue one. On second thought, no thanks. He isn’t the brightest Pup in the Pack. )
Yours Truly has complete confidence in you, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman and we are calling for your Spirit to ease the Troubles and Tribulations of our old woman Slow in her hour of need. And hell, if that doesn’t work, we’ll just look at your sexy cowgirl pictures.