Don’t Fence Me In…With Important P.S.

 Garbage trucks annoy The Red Man and I have to make sure they understand my feelings about their Loud Noisy Big Truck Bullshit so I have to race to the fence and bark and twirl and bark and twirl until they move along to the next house.    And in this HEAT, too!   And of course the old woman Slow NEVER misses dragging that unattractive green cart down the gravel driveway on trash pickup days.   Oh, and we have TWO days in Texas for that sideshow on Worsham Street.   Yep, Wednesdays and Saturdays you can see Slow faithfully struggling with the green cart to make sure the garbage truck has a reason to stop at our house.   Geez Louise.   Is there that much garbage in the world, or does she do that to get on my nerves??

If it weren’t for this stupid fence, I could make sure that garbage truck NEVER stopped at our house.   Yessiree, Big Wheels would Keep On Rollin’ right past this address because The Red Man could put a damper on trash pickup.

And then there’s the C-A-T issue.   It seems C-A-T-S have the ability and size to move between the pickets in our white picket fence.    Who knew?   Certainly not Ollie and me.   We have this one gray and white neighborly C-A-T who makes it his life’s ambition to irritate the hell out of us.   He comes flyin’ through the fence into our front yard and when we break our necks to chase him, he slips back through and me and Smokey Lonesome Ollie are stuck with our tongues hangin’ out and our noses pokin’ through the fence.   Don’t fence me in is all I can say about this situation but you’ll be happy to know that I can bark and twirl long enough to make  the C-A-T go home.    I have a talent for high-pitched piercing staccato yelps, if you will.

So me and Ollie will keep guarding our fence and do the best we can to keep out unwanted guests.   Hmmm…we have something in common with the Border Patrol.   Maybe it’s because we’re in Texas.

Whatever.   It’s late and I think I’ll call it a night.   Adios, Amigos and hasta la vista which is Spanish for I’ll check you later on.

P.S.  It is now the NEXT morning and it is a TRASH DAY and this is what I saw when I stepped out to pee.   Seriously.   Oh, Brother.   I’m going back to bed.