Ok. So the old woman Slow decides to take The Red Man for a Saturday stroll in the ‘Hood this morning since it’s a zippity-do-dah kind of day before the 108 degree Texas heat sets in for the afternoon. What could possibly go wrong? What’s that you say? Yes, I see that paw raised in cyberspace. There’s always a fly in the ointment, you say?
Hahaha. Correctomundo, O Wise Sports Fan.
We’re walkin’, walkin’ down Worsham Street and we get to the house on the first corner and The Red Man decides to stroll over to the white picket fence which contains a couple of Pups runnin’ and barkin’ and twirlin’ along with reckless abandon and much brouhaha. We’re talkin’ LOUD BARKS and FAST RUNNING down a fence. Recognize the behavior. Do it myself frequently at my casa, which is Spanish for house. I’ve seen these pups before, but I really haven’t had much to do with ’em.
So I play along with the fence game and speed up the old woman Slow on my leash while I make an effort to get to know the Big Brown Pup and his little black and white fur ball companion with the smushed face who reminds me of my ex-neighbor Juicy. I always thought Juicy was kinda cute and loved her name the most.
All of a sudden, the Big Brown Pup stops dead in his tracks on the other side of his fence which makes me stop on a dime on the outside of the fence and we stare at each other for a split second until I poke my nose through the fence for a neighborly sniff and before you can say NIP TUCK, the bastard bites me!! Yep, goes right ahead and bites me on the nose if you can believe it. I’m sure I can’t. Even now the whole thing’s a blur because it all happened like a lightning bolt out of the blue but I did for sure see the old woman Slow laughing inappropriately at my misfortune. Humph. Beware the bad ass neighbor, and never forget your enemies if you find out who they are. Sometimes that’s not so easy, but today it was abundantly clear. Geez Louise. I’m still in shock.
Wait ’til next time, Big Guy. The Red Man will be Reddy…heh, heh, my little joke for the night. I try not to let a pesky nose bite make me lose my sense of humor, by the way, but don’t mistake that for my being SOFT on unacceptable behavior. Shake when you see me coming, Baby!
Well, that’s the end of my sad tale and I guess I’ll call it a night. I suppose some of you will look for the morals in my story and much will be said about pokin’ noses where they don’t belong blah blah blah but I’ll leave that to the Moralizers and just say I hope you don’t unexpectedly get bitten yourself this weekend. Stay cool.
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