Paw Snaps – Paw Snaps – Paw Snaps for the Big Guy Smokey Lonesome Ollie tonight!!! Too bad The Red Man was the only witness for The Great Escape today except for Scott, the Peep who lives three houses down on Worsham Street but that comes later. Let’s begin at the beginning, if you will.
So the old woman Slow got our halters out first thing this morning and I was happy, happy-go-lucky excited at the prospect of taking an early morning walk around the ‘Hood before the Heat was ON like the Beat goes ON. That was the Good News. The Bad News was the daffy old twit tricked me into thinking I was gonna be first by opening the back door and then closing it behind me when I raced out onto the back porch after which she sneaked Smokey Lonesome Ollie out the front door. Curses. Foiled again. I hate being the Second Pup to walk because that means I get the short end of the walking stick. As in, First Pup Walking catches her at her best and the Second Pup gets the She’s Old and Tired Routine and barely enough exercise to take a crap. I didn’t even care today, though. I could see the whole scene unfolding from the back yard like a thriller TV show on ION television. Missing.
First stop for Mr. Gray Beard was that C-A-T Charlie who thinks he rules the Street. To make the point, he was stretched out on it this morning and that was very annoying to the Captain and Tennille.
Tennille had him on a tight leash so The Captain couldn’t make a move on the Unconcerned Charlie. Very annoying indeed.
Next stop – Badger down the street. Badger adores Smokey Lonesome and shows him some Big Love by humping him vigorously whenever his Peep Mom, one of the Little Women of Worsham Street, brings him over to our yard to play which she hasn’t done lately because she’s soaking up some Cool Weather elsewhere so Ollie stopped to say hi just to be his neighborly self and then he and Slow trudged on.
Now I’m a little hazy on the details of this next part of the story but from what I can piece together, Ollie and Slow were strolling through one of her favorite Haunts, the cemetery behind our house on Old Plantersville Road. Get it, HAUNTS, CEMETERY – my little joke for the night. Heh, heh. Anyway, it seems Slow has allowed Ollie to run free in the cemetery lately when they walk back there. When they get around to OPR again, Slow puts the leash on him and they walk the block to our house. Are you liking the Plan so far? Dog on a leash. Dog off the leash. Dog back on the leash.
Now this is where I can give you the details. I hear the old woman Slow somewhere down Worsham yelling for Ollie to Come Here Right Now I Said Come Here Right Now Do You Hear Me Ollie You Better Get Back Here Right Now Or I’m Gonna Kill You When I Catch You You Son Of A Bitch!!! That’s when I knew what was up and I was tickled to hear the commotion. The Big Guy was on the Loose!! Mr. Dull was Free At Last, Thank God Almighty, Free at Last. Then, the next thing I knew here she comes running into the house and lets me in the front yard so she can go out the back door to jump in the Dodge Dakota and retrace her tracks to find AWOL Ollie. The pickup truck hadn’t been that revved up in such a hurry in years. Where was Smokey Lonesome? Last place spotted he was heading into the woods next to the big blue house with the new fence. So I saw Slow drive around the corner to try to head him off where the woods came out on the next street over from ours. Bad Idea…
Hahahahahahaha….I’m dying laughing at this part. LOL as we say in cyberspace world. While the old woman was driving around on the next street, here comes Ollie running out of the woods from the Same Spot he went in them and when I saw what was happening I started barking real loud to try to help Slow know I had spotted him. Well, she must’ve heard me because then I saw the Dodge Dakota screeching around the corner coming back home and barreling into the driveway to park. By this time Ollie was three houses down at Scott and Julie’s house and I heard this Big Uproar with their C-A-T and Ollie on the front porch and then Scott came out of the house trying to chase Ollie away from their C-A-T and the old woman was trying to catch Ollie to put the leash on him and it was hysterical because there was NO WAY she could get that close.
Ollie raced toward home and made it to the house next door to ours where Neighbor Jon and one of the other Little Women of Worsham Street used to live and Slow was struggling mightily to huff and puff her way over with the leash when Ollie flew UNDER that house and the next thing I saw was Unconcerned Charlie tearing out from under there followed by Maniac Ollie who was picking up speed and zeroing in on the kill. Hahahahahaha again. This was Beyond Thunder Dome for entertainment. I was barking so hard I couldn’t catch my breath, which seemed to be the problem for the old woman at this point, too.
So all’s well that ends well, as I like to say. Charlie narrowly escaped by jumping the fence across the street which brought Ollie’s pace down to a trot which allowed Slow to catch up and force him into a corner behind the garage next to the yard where Charlie watched with disdain as she finally attached the Prodigal Son to his tethers. Oh, Brothers and Sisters, I couldn’t tell you who looked worse: Ollie with his tongue hanging out or Slow with her face the color of the dark red crape myrtles in our driveway. They were a sight.
The Red Man closes the tale with a heartfelt word of appreciation to Smokey Lonesome Ollie for executing The Great Escape and providing the best Reality Show I’ve seen in recent times. Here’s looking at you, O Soulful One.