Are you kidding me?? Quick – Dial 911 – Strangers in the ‘Hood! Strangers in the ‘Hood! And they’re bringing in C-A-T-S!!
My first clue was the truck with the Texas flag painted on it – not some kind of decal – but part of the paint job on the shiny new bright blue Dodge Ram pickup. Ok, these people down here have crossed the line. And the Dodge truck makers are part of the overall Texas conspiracy. Texans really believe their own hype and their own version of history and reality. Plus, they have a Governor who wants to secede from Los Estados Unidos which is Spanish for these United States and at the same time is running for President of the Peeps in Los Estados Unidos. Dear God – no wonder Dodge is making special editions of Texas trucks. They may be the only vehicles on the road in 2012.
So, it turns out the STRANGERS are cousins of the old woman Slow and who’s surprised by that? She’s got more cousins around here than the law allows but these relatives were carrying a suspicious crate, small enough for a Pup which would’ve been Trouble in itself but alas, no such luck. It was a C-A-T and I feared the worst for Smokey Lonesome Ollie and moi. Was it coming to OUR HOUSE???
I breathed a sigh of relief when the cousins picked up the crate in our driveway and turned AWAY from our house and one of the Little Women of Worsham Street came out from her house and then another Little Woman of Worsham Street met them all in the middle of the road and they all started oohing and aahing and making a Big Production out of this transfer and I knew for sure that C-A-T was headed in a different direction. Whew. There is a God after all.
Apparently this C-A-T’s name is Pansy Elizabeth and belonged to Slow’s Favorite Aunt who has moved to one of those places where Old Peeps go and she can’t take care of this “BEAUTIFUL AND ADORABLE” feline. Whatever. Geez Louise. They’re all going on and on about how “CUTE” she is. Nauseating.
But, The Red Man is grateful for the little things in life, and all I can say is I’m glad Pansy Elizabeth is Badger’s problem and not mine. Yo, Badger – congrats on the new addition to your kingdom across the street, Dude! Bark it up, kiddo, better you than me.
Well, that’s the News in the “Hood this weekend and I hope all my Sports Fans had a big football weekend and all of your favorite teams won. Mine did. Go Cocks and Hook ’em Horns!