Whew. I am some kind of tired tonight and I can hear Paw Licker Annie sawing big old logs from my primo spot on the sofa in the den. Yeah, Miss Annie is pooped, if you know what I mean. Pooped. We’ve had a big day fo’ sho’. OMG Sports Fans, The Red Man and PL Annie are two dogs that went to the Devil today but we had to go to the Deep Woods to find Him.
To begin at the beginning, let me just say a word about the old woman Slow. She tries to take good care of us, God love her, but she isn’t firing on all cylinders these days and The Red Man stays one step ahead of her at all times.
The morning was beautiful on Worsham Street and the Texas weather was perfect so Slow loads us in the trusty Dodge Dakota to go for a romp in the West Montgomery County Park, the place I’ve explored over and over again only to find it hasn’t changed a bit. Boring. Super Boring. Slow loves the park, though, and thinks it’s this Big Deal for me and PL Annie to run around in two football fields and sniff and chase each other while she walks the perimeters for a small dose of exercise. In my opinion her exercise program needs a boost, but that’s a subject for another less adventuresome day.
We arrived at the Park a little later than usual but who’s complaining, and I thought things were going along swimmingly. Miss Annie was loping around with me while Slow walked and took more pictures of us. Typical. Uneventful. And then…I saw it! A hole underneath the fence in the corner behind the small hill!! Miss Annie saw it about the same time I did and we didn’t Pass Go or Collect $200 or stop to consider our options. We both crawled under that Park fence like it was the passage to Shangrila and OFF WE WENT!! WE HEADED FOR THE WOODS!!
The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep. Oh, yeah, Poet Peep – you’re on to something there. Me and Annie ran through the briars and we ran through the brambles and we ran through the bushes where the rabbits couldn’t go…we ran so fast that the old woman Slow couldn’t catch us…and so we ran and ran ’til we had no place to go.
Well, I wasn’t sure how long we were in those woods, but every once in a while we’d hear the daffy old twit driving alongside the woods and blowing that ridiculous coach’s whistle she always blows when she’s frantic – the one she luckily keeps in the glove compartment of the truck for emergencies and God knows she thought this was an emergency. We ran for almost three hours, I heard Slow tell Pretty later when she confessed to Pretty we’d been AWOL.
Sometimes we’d hear her activate the Panic alarm on the Dodge Dakota so it would blow its horn for twenty times but then we’d hear the truck start and know she’d moved on to another spot. Honestly, we were so far back in those woods that by the time we figured out where all the whistling and blowing was going on the old fool had moved. Hey, Advice to Slow when you can’t find us: stay put. We’ll get there if you give us time.
Well, all’s well that ends well, as you know I’m fond of saying, and Slow finally drove close enough to us that we could track her whistles and make our way out of the woods to the truck. I was first, of course, and I admit I came running as fast as these legs would carry me to climb up in that truck and plop down on the seat. I was glad to catch my breath, Brothers and Sisters. Adventure takes it out of me. PL Annie couldn’t get through the barbed wire fence with her bulky self so Slow ran over to lift the wire for her to go under. Nicely done, PL Annie. You’re the best, and I’m keeping my part of the bargain we made about what went on in those woods. What happens in the woods, stays in the woods. I got your back, Sis.
A special shout-out to two of the Little Women of Worsham Street who arrived in the nick of time to see us safely getting a drink of water in the truck. Now wouldn’t you know our Little Women would come search for us? Our Peeps are the Bomb.
And now, I say good night and good luck, Amigos. I’ll recover quickly from the excitement of the day, but I’m not sure the old woman Slow will ever be the same. She certainly isn’t speaking to us yet.
OMG this is one of the best. I feel for Slow, I truly do.
Thanks, Robyn…I had almost given up! Called for reinforcements and then I saw Red come flying out of that forest like he’d seen a ghost. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry I was so glad to see him and Annie.
OK…I have to admit we were really worried. Too many hiding places out there in North Montgomery. Lexie was a nervous wreck worrying about her missing friends. She didn’t even mind that her Momma had left to go help. She was relieved that all ended well and that her friends are warm and safe at home. Gator, Scarlett, Juicy, and Toolie just slept right through the whole ordeal!
Thanks for your help, Dana…I will definitely call sooner if it ever happens again! I’m sure Lexie was very worried about Red. She was always chatting with him across the fence, wasn’t she? I’m a little disappointed in Gator since Red hasn’t had the opportunity to piss him off yet – but not a bit surprised at Miss Scarlett, Juicy and Toolie! Tell them all thanks for letting their Mom come out and join the search.