OMG, the old woman Slow is on the warpath tonight and The Red Man has the good common sense to get out of her way.   Here’s how it all went down deep in the heart of Texas today…

Slow went to see Granny Selma this afternoon as she does every other day or so since Granny S was moved to her new digs in Willis.   Of course, I notice that moi is NEVER invited along on any of these trips and I’m sure Granny S would be disappointed if she had her right mind which everyone knows she hasn’t had in years.   Actually, I’ve heard Slow say the new digs came furnished with two Pups and I can sniff suspicious smells on her clothes when she comes home so I’m sure she’s convinced I might make some kind of a SCENE with strangers, if you can imagine that.    Perish the thought.   The Red Man is famous for his ability to make new friends.   Heh, heh.   Ask ANYBODY on Worsham Street, and they’ll be glad to describe my charisma in detail.

However, I digress.   So as soon as Slow came back from her Willis visit this afternoon, she went flying across the Street to talk to one of The Little Women who was minding her own business and simply trying to store her Christmas decorations in the shed next to her house.   I could tell Slow was in a High State of Agitation because she never moves that fast on a regular basis.   Clearly, she was on a Mission.

I got as close as I could get to the fence in our front yard and even stuck my head between two pickets so I could hear what she was fussing about.   Well,  to put it in a nutshell, she was beside herself because she had gotten Granny Selma’s mail at the house in Willis and the hospital bill came for the week Granny S had been in there at the end of October and it was almost fifty thousand dollars.   That’s right – Fifty Thousand Big Ones for a week.  Evidently, Slow had been mulling and stewing and working herself into a State on the drive home in the Dodge Dakota and she was at Full Tilt when she caught up with the Little Woman across the street.

Well, the Little Woman innocently tried to throw Slow a curve ball to get her calmer and off in a different direction and she made the mistake of saying that was exactly why Medicare was going broke and oh my God was that ever the wrong thing to say to Slow who jumped in with both feet to get up on her high horse about the problems with the health care systems in Los Estados Unidos which is Spanish for The United States.   Shit house mouse.   NEVER encourage the old woman to talk about health care.   She will not shut up.

Finally, after WAY too much bullshit, the Little Woman escaped and went back to her de-decorating and Slow came home and called Pretty to tell her the same story on the phone about the fifty thousand dollars for Granny Selma’s week in the hospital.   Of course, Pretty is always the voice of reason and sensibility and was able to calm her down some, thank God.    Please.   Enough already.

So, tonight I suspect will be a Straight Tequila Night…watch out Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of Slow’s.

I think I’ll go outside and howl at the moon for a while before I go to bed.   Sometimes I need my space, if you catch my drift.

Nitey nite, Sports Fans – will catch up with you at some point over the weekend.    Moral to the story:  stay healthy.