OMG, the old woman Slow has been gone practically all day and of course, as soon as she walked in the front door she had to call Pretty right away before she even put the groceries up. Yeah, she comes staggering in carrying several bags of food goodies and stops long enough to put the milk and butter in the refrigerator and dials Pretty. Excuse moi, but it would be nice to have a few pets and maybe a Gosh I’m glad to see you, Red Man and Paw Licker Annie. Earth to Slow: where’s the Love? Show me some LOVE, Sistah.
At any rate, evidently Slow spent most of the day with Granny Selma over in the Place I’ve Never Been Invited To See because they have two Pups of their own. Yeah, Granny S had an Episode of some kind yesterday afternoon and they had to call the Hosspiss Nurse who came over and pronounced Granny S out of the woods one more time. The old woman had to stay late in Willis yesterday and drove home by herself in the dark. Get the women and children off the streets – Stevie Wonder is driving on Highway 105 after the sun goes down. Sweet Jesus. That must have been an adventure. I can’t tell you how glad I am that I missed it.
Slow told Pretty Granny Selma chatted and chatted today – much more than she’d done in weeks. The focus of the conversation was her being in Africa and how strange it was to be there since she’d never even wanted to go to Africa for a vacation. Yessiree, Granny S was having a Trip without Borders today and Slow went along for the ride. They sang songs together, too, while they were outside the US of A.
This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.
Hymns about Jesus are always favorites of Granny S since she spent much of her life playing piano in Southern Baptist churches. Gotta love her church outfits. Grab your Bible and high heels, Granny S. S-T-Y-L-I-S-H.
And for POP tunes, the Sunshine Song: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know Dear how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.
Yessiree, it was like the good old days with Granny Selma and Slow singing together in the little room that Granny S calls home. Granny S remembered the words and a close proximity to the tunes, according to Slow’s conversation with Pretty on the cell phone.
What she didn’t remember was Slow. Yep, Granny S was clicking on all cylinders for a while there, but she dropped off the grid when it came to recognizing who was present with her in Africa. When Slow asked her if she knew who she was, Granny S looked a little blank and then smiled and said You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine. Slow told Pretty she had to laugh at that one. Granny S was as sly as a fox.
The highlight of the afternoon for Granny S was the handsome dark teenage boy who came into her room to fix the tv connection. He was shirtless and his jeans were tucked into cowboy boots and according to Slow, Granny S never took her eyes off him. She’s always loved the MEN and she would look at the young hunk and then tell Slow Doesn’t he have a nice straight back? Naturally, Granny S would notice a straight back on a cute guy since hers was curved with Skohleehoses. No wonder Granny S has Episodes. She’s as old as dirt and a Man Chaser to boot. Shit house mouse.
I’m afraid I’ll have to think about this tomorrow at Tara. I’m exhausted from all the Granny Selma drama and I think I’ll watch tv with Slow tonight. Oh, Pretty, we miss you so. Please come to Worsham Street to save me and Paw Licker Annie from ourselves. We are nervous wrecks. I hope we can find an episode of The Closer tonight. If I can’t be with Pretty, at least give me Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh.
Thanks for coming around, Sports Fans…catch up with you later.