So I’m minding my own business on a typical Monday in Casa de Canterbury just hangin’ out and chillin’ when all of a sudden Amiga Peep who was here trying to clean the casa grabs me from behind by my halter and pulls me back to the kitchen where I proceed to start barking my head off with my shrillest shrieks while the old woman Slow sneaks out the front door with Smokey Lonesome Ollie. The nerve of her to go somewhere with that crazy Gray Dog We All Know Ain’t Right with his one blue eye and one brown eye. He looks like a Cujo dog and I’ve never trusted him from the day those lesbians brought him home. I was cool with Paw Licker Annie, but two was a party and three was a crowd when we got the Gray Man and then we were way over the top with four when we got Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea. Sweet Jesus.
Where in the world was she going? I heard the Dodge Dakota groan to a start and watched as the daffy old twit eased out of the gravel driveway and down Canterbury Road while Smokey Lonesome stuck his head out the back seat window. Weird ears blowing in the wind.
Aha. Mystery solved. I knew they weren’t going to Texas because Slow hadn’t packed her pills but I didn’t have a clue they were headed to see Hottie Doc who is my own special favorite vet at the 4PAWS clinic. Shit house mouse. Why should Ollie get all the fun…
Hottie Doc has Hottie Helpers, too and I’m sure they would rather have seen The Red Man than the Gray Man. Hey, there, Hottie Helpers – you’re the best and don’t you forget it. The Red Man blows you kisses.
It’s the Examination Table slash Scales, you dimwit! Geez Louise. Such a Scooby Do. He acts like he’s never been to the vet before. A total embarrassment for the family.
Hottie Doc to the rescue!! Looks like Smokey Lonesome has some Big Problemos which is Spanish for Problems if HD has to use that long cord on him. I have to say I hate it for you, Big Guy. The Red Man is nothing if not compassionate. I forgive you this minute for going in the Dodge Dakota without me. This very minute.
So all’s well that ends well, as I am fond of saying and once again Hottie Doc saves the day and fixes up whatever Big Problemo we have. Yessiree, Smokey Lonesome Ollie is now fit as a fiddle and I have to say Slow told Pretty tonight he was SO GOOD at the vet’s that he deserved a Special Treat. Whatever.
Hmmm…I’m not feeling great myself these days. What symptoms do I need to manifest to get a visit to Hottie Doc? What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, if you catch my drift.
Well, Amigos – it’s a Monday and you only have four days left until the weekend. Stay healthy.