Yeah, Peyton’s going West and Tim’s headed East and like a rubber ball I’ll come bouncing back to you…bounc-cee, bounc-cee. Boun-cee my ass. It’s Big Money Time, Vanna. Millions and gazillions of dinero which is Spanish for money which is NFL speak for chump change. Can you repeat after me? $96 million. That’s the magic 5-year deal the Denver Broncos just paid Archie Manning’s oldest son Peyton to come play quarterback for their team. Poor old Texas oil man Bud Adams didn’t stand a chance with his Tennessee Titans even though Peyton played college ball at the University of Tennessee. Nope. As soon as The Red Man saw the picture of Peyton with Denver Executive V-Peep of Operations John Elway in North Carolina , I knew it was over. Macho Man to Macho Man. QB to QB. $ to $. Ain’t no Rocky Mountain high enough to keep me from you.
Money AND Big Bad John. Case closed. Done deal. Ha.
But what to do with Tim Tebow? Now the Broncos had one quarterback too many and it was the one who liked to pray in front of everybody during the football games. Paw Snaps! I know – let’s send him to New York City to Coach Rex Ryan and the Jets. Sounds like a match made in Hell by the Devil to me. But what do I know? I thought Peyton M would never make it in the Pros fifteen years ago, either. Oops.
Forgive us our trespasses because we are bound to make a bad call periodically, Sports Fans, and I am in no forgiving frame of mind myself tonight. I am in a Bad Mood for sure. The old woman Slow took off to Texas without The Red Man yesterday and left me with the huddled masses at Casa de Canterbury. I am stunned, shocked, shattered. That daffy old twit won’t last long without me, if you catch my drift. I predict disasters. Dis-ass-ters. But let her make her own mistakes and live with the results. I wash my paws of her.
So let Peyton go to Denver, Tebow go to New York and Slow go to Texas. I have Pretty.