We all have our favorites and don’t get me wrong. I’m FOND of the old woman Slow, but when you compare her to Pretty, she comes in a distant second. No photo finish for this derby. Nope. Pretty wins every time and that’s why I’m missing Pretty tonight while I’m lulled mindlessly by the NCIS McGee Marathon in the background. Seriously, where is Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson when you need her? Obviously she is unavailable on Saturday nights. More’s the pity.
And of course, Pretty walked me every day when she was here last week, thank you very much. She understands The Red Man needs his walks to shake out a few kinks and survey the situations in the ‘Hood. I saw new Peeps moving into the house on the corner where the Killer Dogs were and want to see if they’re Good for the ‘Hood. You can’t tell that when your view is restricted to poking your nose through a white picket fence.
Ask Spike, the Wonder Dog who drags himself over the fence at least once a day for a breathtaking ESCAPE but never GOES anywhere. Can you believe it? He GETS OUT and COMES BACK, for God’s sake. What’s the point of leaving if you don’t get RESCUED by some hot chick? Geez Louise. What a nerd. The old woman Slow doesn’t even get hysterical when he leaves any more. She just stands at the end of the driveway and waits for the dumbass to come flying back home from down the street and then watches him run to the gate in the front yard. I am thunderstruck and would like to feel sorry for him, but I can’t.
Well, Sports Fans, you know it’s a world gone mad when Tiger Woods doesn’t even make the cut for the weekend at a Minor Golf Tournament. Wow. I wonder if there’s really something to Slow’s theory that what goes around, comes around. It always surprises me when one of her truisms is true.
Good night, Pretty. We miss you and know you miss us, too. It may be a mad world, but you’re our axis.
Get me outta here, Percy…it’s a full moon and I’m about to howl at it.