What’s Going on with Chelsea and Spike?
So it’s a typical Sunday morning here at Casa de Canterbury when Pretty goes to work at the Mast General Store and leaves us with the old woman Slow who is watching the British Open final round. Hello out there Sports Fans just to let you know if you thought Wimbledon was a drag, you ain’t seen nothin’ until you’ve watched some nail bitin’ GOLF…shit house mouse.
Paw Licker Annie’s Opinion of the British Open
The Red Man had plenty to do during the Open since moi is the official Fun Police for the Pack and let’s just say my paws were full up in here with Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea and the Spikester Man. Yours truly was on guard duty early this a.m. during the golf tournament and I’m beginning to wonder if True Love has been found here at the Casa between two Love Pups in addition to the Huge Sappyness of Pretty and Slow. Please. Pretty and Slow are the WORST.
Hey there Dude – I’m Barking at You
Yes, I’d like to know exactly what your intentions are towards Sistah Chelsea, if you don’t mind or even if you do.
Are You in Love with Chelsea or the Sock? Ha.
I can tell you for sure a number of socks have been found with suspicious holes in them lately, but what it boils down to is True Love. The Spikester Man and Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea are officially Love Pups.
Well, Ernie Els won the Open early in the day but we had to wait hours for him to know it since the frontrunner by a gazillion strokes self-destructed on the last four holes and by then Ernie Els was having a sandwich in the club house. Seriously.
He Didn’t Win, but Slow pulled for him since he played college golf at an SEC school: Vanderbilt.
He Didn’t Win Either
The Claret Jug went to an old Peep who’s now won a Major Golf tournament in each of the last three decades. What? Are you kidding’ me? Does that mean Ernie Els has been playing pro golf for over thirty years??? He needs to get a life. The little white ball must be a powerfully mysterious magnet is all I can say.
Ernie Els is from South Africa and thanked Nelson Mandela in his already prepared written down acceptance speech. I guess he had plenty of time to write it while he was eating his sandwich. Slow seemed happy when Ernie mentioned Nelson Mandela because he’s one of her heroes. I personally found it a little odd, but what does The Red Man know about acceptance speeches other than the ones at the Westminster Kennel Club Show and they are never written down.
Well Amigos it’s a big week at Casa de Canterbury because my editor Slow will be having her Caddyshack surgery in her left eye and we all know how unreliable she was last summer when she had the right eye done so keep your paws and fingers crossed that this one will go smoothly. Tomorrow’s Monday – jump up and get an early start and remember the weekend will be here before you can say Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea and the Spikester Man are an item.
Get me outta here, Percy…I may need to piss on something before I retire for the evening.