Dear Slow,

Well, well, well…so you and Pretty are on a Road Trip with Son #One and Pretty Two.   I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the Heads Up and BTW would you like to go with us Red Man or gosh we’d like to take you with us but we think the trip might be too taxing for you or where would you like to stay while we’re gone if you can’t go with us or SOMETHING.   But no no no I don’t even get asked if I want to go to REHAB,for God’s sake.

Oh yes and LOVE the pictures of all the fun you seem to be having without me.

Please tell Pretty how disappointed I am in her for leaving me with a stranger who has un pero loco which is Spanish for one crazy bitch that follows me around sniffing my butt constantly.   Oh yeah don’t worry about me…just have your big ol’ Road Trip wherever.

Yours truly will be fine.

The Red Man

P.S. You are not allowed vacations so I will deduct this time off from your editor’s pay.   Bit you.