Well Amigos, I have to say Roseannrosannadanna might’ve been on to a very important Life Secret when she said It’s Always Something and everybody said Amen which is Bible Speak for So Be It.   This week has been wild and crazy for The Red Man and the old woman Slow and Spikearoo  on Worsham Street.   Yessiree, a real Texas Tornado without the winds.

On Monday Slow took the new fall floral arrangements out to the cemetery to put on Granny Selma’s grave and remember Slow loves nothing better than a cemetery visit even when she isn’t kin to anybody there.  She pokes along on these red dirt country roads in our Dodge Dakota pickup which doesn’t need the extra miles but whatever.   That’s her little red wagon to pull.   At any rate she took pictures of GS’s final resting place and I have to admit she did a good job with the Hobby Lobby flowers.

New Fall Flowers From Hobby Lobby

Crape Myrtles Looking Good Too

Of course nothing runs smooth for the daffy old twit and I heard her telling Pretty on the phone that the ants are terrible right now out at the cemetery and she must’ve gotten bitten about a dozen times while she was working.   Heh, heh.   I can just picture her jumpin’ around slappin’ ants and at the same time mashin’ the flower stems into those little green styrofoam balls she has to use to stick the flowers in.  Unfortunately I have been permanently banned from Fair View Cemetery visits since the Infamous Brahma Bull Incident two years ago so I won’t be able to watch the ant drama any time soon.   Two years.  My how time flies.

Tuesday we had company from cousins on Slow’s daddy’s side of the family here at the house playin’ Canasta with one of the Little Women of Worsham Street.   They played cards and played cards and ate and drank wine all afternoon and I mean ALL afternoon and part of the night.  Geez Louise.  Is anything that much fun?  Evidently it is.  I was never so glad to see a party come to an end six hours later.

Then yesterday the shit hit the fan when Slow drove 15 miles over to Conroe to buy us a new dishwasher from the Sears Appliance Store on Highway 105.  It seems the man who sold her the dishwasher gave her a receipt and sent her all the way over to the Sears in The Woodlands off Interstate 45 to pick one up since he didn’t have one in stock at his Conroe store and The Woodlands was another 10 miles plus it was on the freeway.   Well, to make a long story short, the Manager at The Woodlands Sears couldn’t find any record of the sale so he wouldn’t give her the dishwasher for a LONG TIME even though she had a receipt and told her the Sears Appliance Store on Highway 105 wasn’t even a REAL SEARS Store.  It was a FRANCHISE store and they had different computer systems and every once in a while they ran into a snafu and that was what was happening with our dishwasher.   Sweet Jesus.  Don’t you know she made a SCENE while she was waitin’ for that dishwasher.

When Slow FINALLY got the dishwasher loaded in the bed of the Dodge Dakota she had the brilliant idea of takin’ the back roads to Worsham Street so she wouldn’t have to drive with the dishwasher in the pickup on the freeway and she proceeded to get lost and wander in the Woodlands Wilderness for more than an hour until she remembered she had a GPS that she plugged in and it got her home about dark thirty.   Drivin’ on the freeway, I might add.   I swear she’s insane.   Well meaning – but a bungler.

As soon as she got home, one of her cousins on her mother’s side of the family called to tell her The Red Man’s personal favorite cousin Dennis had to be rushed to the hospital in an ambulance with the sirens screamin’ and the red lights beamin’ in the middle of the afternoon.    Everybody thought he was havin’ a heart attack or a stroke or something equally awful so they took him to a Big Hospital and put him in the Intensive Care Place where he stayed until Slow and Dennis’s brothers visited him today.   The Good News is he’s much better, but the Bad News is he had a bunch of blood clots in his lungs and he may have to stay in the Big Hospital for the Medicine Men to make the clots go away.

So all’s well that ends well as The Red Man is fond of sayin’ and we are settled in once again with our brand new dishwasher that our BFF Gary installed for us and our taped episodes of The Closer with Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson of the LAPD  living on for us even though she has retired from Monday nights.  We miss you Brenda Leigh – won’t you please come back for guest appearances on Major Crimes?

Get me outta here Percy…I’m exhausted and I miss Pretty.   Adios Sports Fans…catch up with you later on…