Conversation overheard VERY LATE last night at Casa de Canterbury as the old woman Slow and Pretty and Number One Son and Pretty Two were easing to a stop in Pretty’s car in front of the house after being gone for over SEVEN HOURS to visit Pretty’s Family in the Upstate for their annual family gathering in the Fellowship Hall of The First Baptist Church of Fingerville, South Carolina. Sweet Jesus.
Pretty says Who are those two boys standing on the front porch of our house at midnight?? Number One Son, are they friends of yours?
Number One Son says No I don’t know who they are. Pretty Two, do you recognize them?
Pretty Two says No I don’t have any idea who they are.
By this time, Slow and Pretty and Number One Son and Pretty Two are all opening car doors and getting out and trying to determine who the two young Male Peeps are when Pretty says I think they have a dog with them on our porch…it looks like they have a little dog…Oh My GOD it’s Red…they’ve got Red up there!!!
And then the old woman Slow starts moving very fast up the driveway to the house and Pretty is hollering at moi as I race away from my new best friends toward Pretty’s arms and everyone is talking all at once and there’s general pandemonium at Casa de Canterbury with lots of noise because then all the other Pups are Barking and throwing themselves against the windows like they do whenever anybody is standing on the front porch without Official Permission plus it’s late at night and you can see the lights coming on in the neighbors’ houses all around us as they try to figure out if they need to call the Police or anything like that and it’s like this Reality TV Show without the cameras.
Heh, heh. High drama. You gotta love it.
I swear I meet the nicest guys when I escape. Yep, my new best friend Tucker and his buddy told Slow and Pretty that they’d found me wandering along the road at the corner of Devonshire and Canterbury which was a good distance from our casa and that they’d been trying to call the number on my tag to locate the owner of such a cute little sweet dog. Ha. I would hardly call it “wandering” but I will say I was more than thrilled when they stopped to offer me a lift. I jumped right in their car and was happy for a ride, let me tell you. And give them credit – they HAD tried to call Slow’s number and I heard Tucker leave a message that he would be glad to keep me for the night if necessary. Thanks, but no thanks. I prefer my own king-sized bed if you don’t mind. And of course Slow can’t hear her own cell phone ring. Shit house mouse. Worthless.
So Slow unlocked the front door and she and Pretty rushed in to make sure no other dogs had gone AWOL and everyone was present and accounted for but then Pretty said well how did Red get out and walked through the house and into the back yard and discovered my little secret. Oops – the back yard gate next to the garage was wide open. Open Sesame – Open Gates – Open Roads and I’m Gone. I wish I could tell you how that gate opened but if I did I’d have to kill you. Plus I have no idea. I’ve jumped on that gate for years and it’s never opened but last night I gave it a little push and Poof it swung open like it does when Slow takes the garbage out. Paw Snaps – it was just that easy. Their bad. I was off and runnin’.
Now here’s a question for you, Amigos. Why was The Red Man the only Pup in the Pack who took off on the Thanksgiving Adventure Walk? There was equal opportunity for the other ones to leave since we all use the same doggie door and the back gate was Wide Open. Well, I can answer that for you. They don’t have S-p-u-n-k – not a one of them has Spunk. If you’re not the Lead Dog, you always have the same view, don’t you, and The Red Man needs a different view periodically.
So all’s well that ends well and my new best friend Tucker came over again today because Slow called him to say she’d made some of her famous chocolate chip cookies for him for rescuing me one more time and I gave him a friendly bark as he drove away. See you again, Big Guy and thanks for the ride home last night. Sweet.
There you have it. One more Daring Escape by The Red Man and one Giant Paw for the Pups. This is how we punish the Peeps for spending the evening at The First Baptist Church of Fingerville.
Only in South Carolina
Get me outta here Percy…Thought for the night Sports Fans: No matter where you wander, there’s no place like home…and you can quote me on that…