So Amigos, The Red Man hates to be the bearer of Bad News but we are forced to report that the Missing Baby Jesus we told you about last Christmas is still Missing and even worse news from the Organ Player Cousin in Texas is that one of the Wise Men’s legs broke off this year when the Decorating Committee at his Navasota church set up their traditional outdoor Nativity Scene and no funds were budgeted by the church for Wise Men repairs this year which means one of the Wise Men is lopsided.
Everyone knows how a church outdoor Nativity Scene is supposed to look.
Traditional Outdoor Church Nativity Scene
Yep, you got your Virgin Mary, Baby Daddy Joseph, shepherd boy with Mary’s little lamb, teepee-shaped manger, angel representin’ Heavenly Host, camel representin’ ancient Middle East transportation system, little drummer boy representin’ Harry Simeon Chorale, Wise Men bringin’ gifts of gold and whatever you call it and of course you have your Focal Point being the Baby Jesus. Ta Dah. Very famous Christmas scene from even more famous Bible Story, right? Every church scene looks the same during the Holiday Season…
Except one. That would be the church in Navasota, Texas where the old woman’s Slow’s cousin is the Organ Player. As you will recall from last year if you were one of our cyberspace friends a year ago, all of the characters in his Outdoor Church Nativity Scene are gathered ’round and staring down at N-O-T-H-I-N-G….nothing, NOTHING, NOTHING! Why, you ask, would a church scene be missing the Baby Jesus? Because it was stolen, that’s why. Yessiree. Ripped off. Baby Jesus wrapped in swaddling clothes GONE. Slow and the Organ Player and her other cousin appropriately known as the Bearded Cousin who discovered the theft last year while he was outside the church smokin’ a hand-rolled cigarette immediately agreed that any thief who stole the Baby Jesus should burn in Hell.
Last year The Red Man recommended calling in Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson from The Closer to solve the mystery of the missing Baby Jesus because she let no mystery go unsolved without a Confession of some sort but alas, Deputy Chief Johnson has disappeared like the Baby Jesus and now we must recommend a new detective. We have a Cold Case on our hands so we need Detective Lily Rush a/k/a Kathryn Morris to re-surface since she specialized in Cold Cases and this one should be a snap for her. Not so fast, my friend. The Baby Jesus was stolen two years ago and the entire town of Navasota has been in an uproar about it ever since but the Minister confessed to a church cover-up that relied on nobody really payin’ that much attention to the Outdoor Nativity Scene anyway and the Notorious Case has defied the best efforts of a vigilante group called the Grimes County Baby Jesus Coffee Club.
And now this extra problem of the Wise Man’s broken leg to contend with. Is there no end to religious persecution in Texas?
Well, Sports Fans, all is not well but all is bright on this December afternoon in Casa de Canterbury. Nap time. We are exhausted from a Day of Beauty at the Fluff ‘N Puff Poodle Parlor.
Get me outta here Percy…my paws are tuckered out…
Pretty and the Pack