The Red Man rarely makes a mistake, but when he does it’s a Humdinger. I’ve been dealing with a lot of free-floating anxiety recently and thought the problem was that we had no Pope. I worried and worried and worried about losing a Pope so I just KNEW I’d feel better once I identified and verbalized my feelings of Popelessness, but Sisters and Brothers I’m here to tell you I was wrong. Shout it to the rooftops The Red Man was wrong – it wasn’t the Pope after all.
What’s the problem? I can’t sleep. I’ve been waking up during the middle of the night and making the old woman Slow stagger down the hall to let me out for a breath of fresh air. Not just once. At least twice every night. I need fresh air, I tell you. Gotta have it – must have it- will do anything to get it. I’m suffocatin’ in the bed between Slow and Spike. MAKE THEM MOVE.
Paw snaps and twirls – I’ve figured it out. I’m missin’ Pretty. The Red Man hasn’t seen Pretty for two months and that’s TOO LONG. Oh, Pretty, please come to see us on Worsham Street. I am pinin’ for Pretty. I’m goin’ to write a country song for Pretty right this very minute. Let’s see.
I’m feelin’ down and out, I’m feelin’ blue.
I miss my Pretty pets, I really do.
Don’t got no jukebox to play tonight,
Just got the TV shows within plain sight.
Chorus: Pinin’ for Pretty, Lord I’m pinin’ for Pretty.
Where in the world is Pretty tonight?
Pinin’ for Pretty, God knows I’m pinin’ for Pretty.
The Red Man needs Pretty to make things all right.
Oh, well. Hank Williams I’m not, but you get the general idea. Get me outta here Percy – I think I’ll do a little howling at the moon tonight just for fun.