The Red Man on exam table – calm on the outside
Oh Brother, I just hate my annual vet visits and I’ve been in Texas so long the old woman Slow decided we needed to find a vet down here and not wait to go to my regular Hottie Doc in South Carolina.. Incredibly, she’s managed to replace Hottie Doc with Santa Claus. Seriously. The guy at the Lake Country Clinic looks like he needs to be making toys at the North Pole instead of giving shots to unsuspecting Pups. Warning: avoid white-haired cheery Ho Ho Ho types with needles. Shit house mouse.
Poor Paw Licker Annie – she had to go with me
Paw Licker Annie went to the new vet’s office with me and wasn’t happy at all, bless her heart. Slow talked to Santa and his helpers for a very long time. Red needs teeth cleaned blah blah blah. Annie needs another round of antibiotics for her skin problems blah blah blah. The helpers are helpful and very nice and I like Santa so far, but I miss Hottie Doc. She made you almost forget you were at the vet’s office. Sigh.
What’s this? I’m actually gonna have my teeth cleaned tomorrow? Pisser. Weekend shot to hell. Santa better make sure The Red Man has adequate pain meds for this ordeal or our relationship might be in danger.
Oh, I wish Pretty was here. If Pretty was here, none of this would be happening. Save me, Pretty. The old woman Slow is Sneaky. She’s doing this behind Pretty’s back and The Red Man will suffer for her duplicity. Woe is moi.
Get me outta here Percy…I need to review my will…catch you later Sports Fans…I hope…