Oh Pretty please hurry to see me because I’ve been severely mistreated while you were gone this time.  The old woman Slow took me to that evil Santa Vet and he poured a can of WhipAss all over my body.  Sweet Jesus.  I mean, The Red Man has scars that’ll take eons to heal.  We’re talking eons.  The only good news is that I’m taking my pills in Pill Pockets which are lip-smacking delicious.  Yummy, yummy, yummy.  Pain pills in Pill Pockets. What a country.

Well Amigos Pretty is coming to my rescue and we are all going home to Casa de Canterbury.  I say good riddance.  I’ll miss the Little Women of Worsham Street and the rowdy Huss Brothers but I’ve been down in Texas so long I’m barking with a twang.  How long have you been in Texas, Red?  I’ve been in Texas so long I ALMOST don’t notice the COWS any more.  And they’re everywhere down here.  Trust me.  We ride around these back roads in the Dodge Dakota and I’m thinking the scenery looks the same no matter where we go.  If you’ve seen one cow pasture, you’ve seen ’em all. I need some City Streets.  Bright lights, big city turn me loose and set me free.

Get me outta here Percy…I’ve got packing to do…lose the boots old woman…