Hahaha. Paw Snaps and Twirls. Well, Amigos, all I can say is The Red Man still has some gas left in his tank and he burned it in Rosewood yesterday afternoon during the Daily Field and Forest Walk. Yessiree, The Red Man left the Big Dawgs and the old woman Slow scratching their tails and wagging their heads when they got back to the Dodge Dakota pickup and realized Somebody was M.I.A. Missing in Action. I wish I’d had been a flea on the upholstery.
It was so easy. Here’s how it went down.
Slow decided to take the whole three- pack with her for the afternoon Freedom Walk. You know, no leashes attached, just dogs on the loose. She usually decides she can manage with Two but whichever one of us doesn’t make Slow’s Choice pitches a hissy fit…so yesterday for some reason known only to her, she took all Three of us. Classic mistake.
Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea chased tennis balls in the field until she got tired and dropped the ball somewhere out of sight and out of her mind. Spike ran off into the woods and we heard him barking at squirrels from Wherever. Of course, I cleverly pretended to be fascinated with Slow and TBO Chelsea and ran around in their vicinity until we reached the halfway mark of our mile-long outing and all started back through the woods for the Dodge Dakota.
Spike came racing over to the trail where we were walking together at this point and then he dashed off excitedly to chase another squirrel. That’s when I made my move. Heh, heh. Couldn’t have been sweeter if I’d run for a touchdown against Mizzou. I ran off in the direction of Spike and then The Red Man made a U-turn.
Slow and TBO Chelsea walked North and Spike ran parallel to them in the same route, continuing his insane loud noises crashing around in the underbrush and trying to catch the little furry creatures that taunted him. Slow kept calling him to come with her and was preoccupied with getting him on track.
As for The Red Man, well, I ran South. And ran And ran. And ran. I ran through the briars and I ran through the brambles and I ran through the bushes where the rabbits didn’t go, to borrow a phrase from Johnny Horton. I ran so fast that the hounds couldn’t catch me on down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
Actually, not quite that far but I did run out of those woods and across the busy street in front of the Boys and Girls Club on S. Holly and I caught the sounds of horns honking and brakes screeching while I kept running. I swear it was the like the Good Ol’ Days when I used to escape if I saw a crack in Homeland Security like an open gate or door. I mean to tell you I ran so fast I was a BLUR.
And then, as so often happens on my solo adventures, I slowed down and looked around and wondered where the hell I was. Geez Louise and Sweet Lady Gaga. Shades of Lewis and Clark. Where am I now that I need me.
The next thing I knew this nice young man wearing glasses and walking his mutt on a leash came up to me while I was standing somewhere in the vicinity of S. Bonham and St. Elsewhere and said Come here little doggie and grabbed my collar. Captured. Game Over.
Of course he had a cell phone and dialed the old woman Slow’s number on my tag. Do you have a dog called The Red Man he asked. I could hear her hysterical Yes and I’m out trying desperately to find him right now. Poor thing. She was a wreck.
Well, Sports Fans, all’s well that ends well, as I am fond of saying so the nice young man wearing glasses took me to meet Slow who thanked him profusely for “rescuing” me and was so unnerved she’d forgotten to bring a leash and had to carry me back to the Dodge Dakota and since she’d already been combing the woods for me, she could barely breathe by the time we got back to the truck filled with TBO Chelsea and Spike who were channeling Slow’s anxiety.
Naturally, she had to call Pretty who was at work at the Mast General Store and relay the whole story on the drive home to Casa de Canterbury. I could tell Pretty took it in stride because she said That’s Red for you. Practical Pretty.
So today I’ve been in Recovery Mode and sleeping in with Pretty who had the day off. Whew. Takes me longer to Recover these days, if you catch my drift.
Get me outta here Percy. Time for a Rimadyl cocktail. Catch you later, Sports Fans.
Red, at least you got confirmation of her love and affection–all that hysteria and carrying on, you know?
Yes, she may be a Nut case, but she’s The Red Man’s Nut case! 🙂
Red Man you need to be a tad more careful or you will end up down here in the Gulf of Mexico with the mini herd.
What’s that you say Twitter De? Mini herd? Well, thanks for the warning – the Call of the Wild is powerful, but I can only handle one pack at a time!! 🙂
wow what excitement and thankfully a happy ending!
Yes, a happy ending for sure!
Aaah! the marvellous Rimadyl. Our Strider gets one every now and again, especially after a lot of activity. Good stuff.
Strider – what a great name! And my, oh my. Good drugs do get around, don’t they? 🙂
Red Man, you remind me of my dog…she always ran after everyone, besides me. Thank Cat for the Happy Ending. Pawkiss 🙂
Thank mew, Granny!! 🙂
You really do have me in stitches with your writing style. Naughty little thing, running off like that and getting Slow into a right royal state.
Oh Red Man – at least we can laugh along with you this time but you are only here by the grace of whoever. Take care dear boy and please don’t stress out your family any more than you absolutely have to 😉
Yes, only by the grace of the Great Whoever – I hope GW continues to think I’m funny enough to keep me around!! 🙂
HOLE LEE MILKBONES!!! Red Man you are my totally awesome hero dog, but sounds to Cassie P and me you got a little too caught up in your run for freedom to realize how much TROUBLE you were gonna be in when Slow got a hold of your terrier as# … er, I mean scruff. Ma would have you in lockdown for weeks, right after she poured herself a bourbon on the rocks. No sharing either. Hope the Rimadyl helps and lie low for awhile.
Your Poppy Seed (Cassie’s acting all superior as she’s perfect … grrr!)
Holy Milk Bones hits the nail on the head, Miss Poppy Seed! The Red Man has been under House Arrest today while the Big Dawgs ran off to Fields and Woods this afternoon. Hrmph. Karma has it that the old woman Slow took a tumble on a tree root in the woods today, but then what else is new. Heh, heh. I say serves her right!
She gets up, dusts herself off – and plods along a little slower – but keeps on going. Oh, well. I think she takes a dose of bourbon for her ills like your Ma does. 🙂
As for Cassie Potatoes, welcome to the world of siblings. I hate it when you have a Superior One. Oh but of course that would be moi. 🙂
Keep cool, O Adorable One.
Your Red Man
Slow and Ma … Hm, it’s a wonder either of them can stay upright on their respective sets of dodgy feet. Ma went down on our walk today too. No roots in sight. Her right foot just wasn’t cooperating. At least they’re game and keep on walking us. You’ll be rejoining your pack soon enough. Our peeps have short memories and a weakness for pleading eyes. I’d send you a get out of jail card, except I only have one, and I think I’m going to need it. 😀
Your Poppy Seed
Yes, they are a couple of Nuts, your Ma and my Slow, but they’re OUR Nuts!! Yes, please tell your Ma to be careful when she’s out with you and Cassie Potatoes and do by all means save your Get out of Jail Free card – you will definitely need it!! Have a great weekend up there in Penn’s Land…:)