Well Amigos, The Red Man has had a New Briefing last night from our Secret Agent working undercover as the Church Organist for a church In the old woman Slow’s birthplace in the little town of Navasota, Texas.  Of course you know it concerns the Case of the Missing Baby Jesus from the outdoor Church Nativity Scene – a case we have been following closely for the past three Christmases.


We all know how a Nativity Scene is supposed to look

Unfortunately, Christmas before last is now considered the Year of Discovery of the Missing Baby Jesus.  To review for our new Amigos, the old woman Slow’s cousin who is affectionately known as the Bearded One was rolling a cigarette before church and walked over to smoke  at the outdoor Nativity Scene to kill time until church started.

As he got closer to the manger scene where Mother Mary and Baby Daddy Joseph and the sheep and Wise Men were arranged in a semi-circle and everyone was gazing with adoration at the cradle, the Bearded One saw that the Baby Jesus was gone.  That’s right.  Gone.  Snatched right out of his cradle.

Well, when he told his brother the Church Organist about the Nativity problem, the Church Organist asked the Preacher about it and the Preacher said the Baby Jesus went missing the previous Christmas but that the Decorations Committee decided not to get another one because no one would notice unless they got really, really close to that manger.  Case closed.

Last year, both the Bearded One and the Church Organist checked out the manger and found that the Baby Jesus was still missing and that another mishap had occurred with one of the Wise Men who now had a broken leg and was lopsided.  Sweet Jesus…or not.

To add insult to injury, THIS YEAR the Bearded One has notified his brother the Church Organist that the plywood manger roof is severely damaged from a recent unusual Texas ice and snow storm that has the whole manger perilously close to falling apart!

The Wise Man’s leg hasn’t been repaired, and the Baby Jesus is still GONE, Baby Jesus, GONE.

The Bearded One continues to roll his cigarettes but looks at the scene with disgust.  Doesn’t anyone give a damn about the condition of the outdoor Nativity Scene?

Sadly, the Church Organist reported to Slow that the man in charge of the Decorations Committee which oversees the outdoor Nativity Scene has left his wife and run off with someone else and hasn’t been seen for the last three months.  The Decorations Committee has fallen into disarray and has concentrated on the poinsettia for the inside of the church this year.

So at this point it appears that there are now two cases to be solved at the church: the cold case of the Still Missing Baby Jesus and the Newly Missing Manger Manager.

The Red Man is horrified by this turn of events and wonders if by any chance the runaway husband was in the Navy and NCIS could be called in to do an investigation.  While they were in town, they might have time to try to find the Missing Baby Jesus which could be on a submarine for all we know.  Help!   Help!   Help!  Send in Special Agent Jethro Gibbs and the Gang.

Get me outta here Percy…it’s a world gone mad during the holiday season and I feel the need for eggnog.