Well Amigos, The Red Man knows thousands of his followers wait anxiously each year for his commentary on all Awards Shows as seen from front-row seats in the comfort of his own living room. Ok, so maybe not thousands or hundreds or even tens – but for sure at least five. And you know who you are. And we are grateful for you.
Julia Roberts being interviewed on the Red Carpet
She didn’t win anything
Sofia Vergara being interviewed on the Red Carpet
She didn’t win anything either, but who cares?
Her jewels were Award Winners
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were the hostesses
They were very cheerful and happy
(Amy Poehler won a Golden Globe as a bonus)
Jacqueline Bisset won an award…
but she was neither cheerful nor happy
Note: Maybe she wasn’t happy because her mother told her when she was a little girl to “Go to hell and don’t come back.” Shit house mouse. At least she won something tonight, so take that, Mom.
Julia Roberts was enthralled by Bono…
who gave a heartfelt speech about Nelson Mandela
Meryl Streep looked gorgeous in her reading glasses
but she didn’t win a Golden Globe
Note: What’s wrong with you foreigners?? Amy Adams over Meryl Streep?? This is the thanks we get for letting you have a three-hour Prime Time Award Show on NBC. Geez Louise. Give The Red Man a vote next year, if you don’t mind, or he’ll watch Downton Abbey instead of the GG just for spite.
Julia Roberts was enthralled by Diane Keaton…
who gave a heartfelt acceptance speech for Woody Allen
but had to be bleeped to keep it Woodyesque
Kyra Sedgwick a/k/a The Closer wasn’t even nominated
but she’ll always be a Winner to The Red Man
Note: PLEASE come back, Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson! My Monday nights haven’t been the same without you. It’s a Major Crime that you’re gone.
Spike lost interest before the Best Comedy American Hustle was announced
Chelsea tried to make herself little to fit on the footstool
Note: She alternated between wigged and bored during the evening. The highlight of her night had been the 5,000 gallons of water flooding the Red Carpet only hours before the walks started. She thought it went downhill after that.
So Sports Fans, another Golden Globes bites the dust and none of The Red Man’s favorites won a thing. Oh, well. There’s always the Oscars. But before that, we will be reporting on the Super Bowl and the Sochi Olympics and only Lady Gaga knows what else so stay tuned.
Now get me outta here Percy…I’ve got to go stop the old woman Slow from rummaging around in her closet to look for her ties she used to wear to work in the Annie Hall era. Pretty hated that look.
Red's Rants and Raves 
Is it just Cassie and me Red, or did Julia Roberts look like she was channeling Barbara Streisand? Can you channel a living person? Ah, well. I wanted to wrestle the remote from Ma. She couldn’t or wouldn’t settle on anything for long, so CP and I really appreciate you bringing us up to date, and look forward to your pithy commentary on upcoming events. Some of us want to know the talk of the day at the pee mail tree!!!
(God help you Red if Slow finds those neck ties. We think even Diane Keaton is pushing it. Meryl Streep on the other hand …”Oo, la, la!!”)
Tail wags,
Your Poppy
LikeLike
Dearest Poppy,
Well you certainly have your paws tied when it comes to your Ma and pop culture, don’t you? Tsk. Tsk. More’s the Pithy. Hahaha.
We love the Pee Mail Tree and will promptly steal it from you for our rants and raves. Bless your hearts, you and Cassie P for all you have to put up with.
We aren’t sure about channeling existing people, but if you think JR was doing Streisand last night, we’ll go with you. And yes, Meryl Streep is definitely Oo, la, la! Slow loves her and JR so much she went to see Osage County TWICE this past weekend. Sweet Lady Gaga. She hadn’t done that since Nebraska, and she only saw that one twice because she thought she recognized the cousins in Hawthorne and couldn’t stop laughing at them.
Don’t worry. Slow has found that Pretty discovered her neckties and burned them. Oo, la, la!! 🙂
LikeLike
Count me as one of the five, and thank you for the Golden Globe commentary. At my house, we even tuned in to the “pre-game” coverage on E! My human daddy says that he is the ultimate Renaissance Man, so we spent the afternoon and evening switching form awards pre-game to ice skating to football to the actual awards to Downton Abbey and then back to the actual awards. I looked a lot like Chelsea by the end of the evening. P.S. So happy to hear that Pretty has burned the neckties. Sometimes humans just need to be saved from themselves!
LikeLike
Oh Miss Harper Lee,
Your Daddy is truly the Renaissance Man and evidently suffers from the same dilemma the old woman Slow and Pretty have: what to watch first. Thank goodness for the U-verse recorder so they now record Downton Abbey every Sunday night plus The Good Wife and The Mentalist. They are both suckers for drama series. And of course, Slow is watching the NFL Playoffs since college games are no more.
Aha…good win for LSU when they came to town last week for a BB game! I heard about it – didn’t see it. Am tempted to try to go to see the Gamecocks play the Aggies in College Station Wednesday night since I’ll be on Worsham Street this week, but I just can’t bring myself to work up the enthusiasm to subject myself to Aggie Fight Song, if you catch my drift. 🙂
LikeLike
Not only was the post a hoot, but the comments above were hysterical. That is all. I missed the show. And I missed the shows that the shows that were nominated. And I missed the shows that were hoping they would be nominated and weren’t.
LikeLike
That was so incoherent I confused myself.
LikeLike
My point exactly. 🙂
LikeLike
Good grief, Luanne…I am chasing my tail on this one! Somebody Stop Me!!!
LikeLike
Bahahahaha. It worked!
LikeLike
You were out to get me!! 🙂
LikeLike
I didn’t watch it (but I never need to watch these things because I know you’ll keep me up to date, Red) 😉
LikeLike
We do the best we can, although our coverage may lack neutrality! Now we wish we could be in Melbourne for the Australian Open – maybe one day!! Keep writing…easy to advise, tough to do. 🙂
LikeLike
Apparently it’s stinking hot in Melbourne at the moment. My daughter lives there and she’s hiding in the air-conditioning 😉
LikeLike
Yes, I can’t remember ever seeing the Open with temperatures like this. Unbelievable. I feel sorry for the people playing and the ones watching, too. At some point yesterday (my yesterday, who knows what day it was there?) they had to suspend play because it was 109 degrees on the court! Wow, now that’s HOT!
LikeLike