Well Amigos, The Red Man has now heard it all. Cyberspace is expanding at the speed of light and there is a Dot Com for everything. Today the old woman Slow was telling Pretty about Finding Rover.com.
Are you kidding me? A facial recognition app that saves pictures of Rover’s nose and eyes which can then be matched against pictures taken of a dog that is found to see if it’s really Rover who is apparently lost. Sweet Lady Gaga.
Now far be it for moi to cast aspersions on new innovative technology, but The Red Man sees a few flies in this ointment, as Granny Selma used to say when she had her right mind.
Number One: Rover’s picture has to be taken by a Smart Phone to send to the Great Picture Saver in the Sky. Unfortunately, at Casa de Canterbury our Ansel Adams of cell phone photography still uses a Dumb Phone which would make capturing Rover’s eyes and nose impossible if Rover lived with us. Of course Pretty has a Smart Phone, but she is always working at the Mast General Store so she won’t have time to take any pictures of Rover’s eyes and nose to send to anybody.
Number Two: Let’s say Rover doesn’t live with us but is found at Casa de Canterbury. By the time Rover makes it to our house, Slow will have totally forgotten about Rover.com and she and Pretty will simply decide to keep Rover with us because that’s how they roll with Stray Dogs who appear on our doorsteps.
Now, all that being said, Rover.com does seem to have real possibilities for some people and is a step forward in the constant battle of locating Rover who would be better off if he stayed home anyway.
Which reminds me of the story of the dog in Kansas who walked 30 miles back to her home and then her family didn’t take her in. Thirty miles are a long way to walk home to be told you can’t stay. Only this wasn’t Rover – this was Lady, or as she was one time called, Ma Kettle. Someone needs to let me know why that family wouldn’t burn in Hell if there is one.
Luckily, Lady was rescued by a Gum Heiress and flew to Florida on a private jet and now surveys her new yard riding on a golf cart. Oh yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Happy endings. The Red Man loves ’em.
So Sports Fans the moral to our stories today is if you see Rover, grab a Smart Phone and take a picture of his eyes and nose and if you see Lady, well, tell her The Red Man sends Paw Snaps and Twirls to a girl who deserves the Good Life.
Get me outta here Percy…all this technology talk makes me nervous…I feel like somebody is watching me.