EXCLUSIVE! Red Man Interviews The Divine Miss P!

Well Amigos, The Red Man once again brings you breaking news from the 139th. Westminster Kennel Club Show at Madison Square Garden in New York City. Yes, Awards Season is officially in full swing, and the WKC Best in Show for Top Dog is The Red Man’s personal favorite extravaganza.

This year’s Best in Show winner was a four-year-old beagle from British Columbia named Miss P – that’s right – a Canadian who traveled far and wide to reach the heights of glory in Dogdom. The Red Man questioned the hound about her victory.

Red Man: Tell us, Miss P, were you nervous when the judge stared at you and your handler?

Miss P: Not at all – nerves go right out the window when the spotlight hits you in the show ring.  The judge was a kind looking old white man, and btw, he only had eyes for me.  I could tell.

Red Man: What is your relationship with your handler, Will Alexander?

Miss P: Actually, we have a very good relationship.  I have to say food is the key to our relationship – he gives me secret treats that rock my taste buds – liver flavored.  Oh my, now I’ve said too much.  That’s supposed to be our little secret – mine and Will’s, but you are so cute Red Man, I’ll give you that exclusive!

 

Red Man:Thanks for the shout out, Miss P. The crowd favorite seemed to be the Old English Sheep Dog named Swagger.  Were you afraid he’d win?

Miss P: Honey, please.  Swagger was good, but Judge Merriam wasn’t into big dogs.  Did you see who he picked for Grand Reserve?  The terrier…duh…he liked Little.

Red Man:  And obviously you liked the judge?

Miss P:  Well, he took his own sweet time about it, but in the end, he made the right choice – if I do say so myself.

Red Man: What did you think when the guys brought the trophies and ribbons out?

Miss P:  I was thinking Bring It, Baby…and they did.

Red Man: Rumor has it you tried to eat the Best in Show ribbon?

Miss P: I was so hungry I could’ve eaten the trophy – I hadn’t had a meal in forever…but I regret that little faux paw.

Miss P: But I thought I regained my composure rather quickly.

Red Man: Oh, I totally agree.  Your recovery was fabulous.

Miss P: And of course Will always saves me from myself.  He scooped me up in his arms for the cameras.

Red Man: And what were you thinking at that moment, Miss P?

Miss P: I was thinking that was the first I’d heard about getting pregnant when I retired and then I was wondering what part of the  word retirement he did not understand.  Having puppies isn’t my idea of a good time.

Red Man: I hear you, Miss P.  I caught your appearance on the Today Show this morning.  How was that?

Miss P: I liked the red carpet.  Cute idea, but frankly I was tired and not interested in an early morning appearance after the late night partying.

 

Miss P:  Boring…super boring.

Red Man: Miss P, thank you so much for taking the time to visit with The Red Man.  I have just one last question: where did you get the name Miss P?

Miss P:  I have a ridiculously long formal name, but my regular name is Peyton – like Peyton Manning.  When I won a puppy show, the judge said I was the Divine Miss P.  And that’s the moniker they called me from then on.

Red Man: Well Paw Snaps and Twirls to you, Miss P – you are definitely Divine, and The Red Man will always be your number one fan.

 

 

Get me outta here Percy, I’m writing a sympathy card to the Welsh Terrier who should have won best in the terriers but didn’t. Too bad he didn’t have Judge Merriam for his judge…