OMG Amigos, the old woman Slow has taken a turn for the worse right here at Casa de Canterbury and is obsessed with the Downton Abbey fifth season finale – PLEASE make her step away from the TV and return to Castle or Law and Order SVU or Bones or Friends or Seinfeld or any of the other comfort TV shows The Red Man has grown accustomed to hearing in the background of his life for the past umpteen years and make her stop watching the Downton Abbey Christmas episode…I am freaking out…I just can’t take it any more…tell her to GET A LIFE!

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How many times have I been forced to watch this Christmas Eve celebration?

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How many times have I had to listen to Lady Mary sing Silent Night?

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 So what if The Lady Dowager and Mrs. Crowley are Slow’s new best friends…

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Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn

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And must she cry EVERY time Mr. Carson proposes to Mrs. Hughes?

Weep no more, my lady…seriously, weep no more. You’re bringing The Red Man down.

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Pretty told Slow that somebody said Tom has had the longest farewell since Cher

Whatever. If she turns that TV to Downton Abbey again, I swear I will pee on her favorite chair. Hm.  That’s really not a threat – I do that anyway.

Get me outta here Percy – I must send smoke signals to Pretty to rescue me from this Downton Disaster.

P.S. Shout out to the Lady Gamecocks in the SEC round ball tournament – good luck tomorrow Go Cocks!