Well, well, well. Is there no end to the skullduggery of that old woman Slow? I got up this morning and thought it was going to be a regular day like any other Hump Day is every week and trust me, I’m speaking metaphorically about Hump Day.
But no, no, no.That would have been too easy.
I opted to skip breakfast and save my appetite for a hearty lunch and the next thing I knew Slow opened the front door of Casa de Canterbury for me and let me make a mad dash for the Dodge Dakota pickup truck which is running nicely with its second engine and 166,000 + miles showing on the odometer. Nothing I enjoy more than a ride in the old Dodge Dakota. No sirree. Nothing I enjoy more.
But we rode past the Publix and the bank and the post office and the gas station which are the only four places in the whole city that we go to on our little excursions during the week and I thought this was definitely a bad sign because that left only ONE place that we occasionally visited.
Hottie Doc at the Four Paws Animal Clinic. Curses. Foiled again.
Sure enough, as Granny Selma would say, it turns out I had an appointment at the vet’s office. Sigh. Whatever. Same old. Same old.
Wrong, O Welsh Terrier breath – not same old. Not Hottie Doc herself – but Hottie Doc Numero Dos came strolling in. Sweet Lady Gaga. She was very young but seemed nice and talked to Slow about blah, blah, blah and then she and her Helper Girl jacked me up on the scales like always.
Well Sports Fans the next thing I knew I was getting delicious little treats from the Helper Girl when I felt these little prickly pricks all along my back and on my legs and neck. Not painful exactly – more like annoying. Yep, you guessed it: acupuncture. The Red Man was having acupuncture without his permission and no one seemed to care. It was a world gone mad.
Well I never. No, truly I never – but supposedly this is my new Alternative Treatment Program which will make The Red Man new and improved. Let’s hope so. At any rate, Numero Dos finally removed the needles after a while and sent us home with two types of herbs to round out my prescription for rosy health. (I will omit the tragic incident of the B-12 killer shot that Numero Dos injected while I was in the throes of my new ATP – some things are better left unsaid.)
In addition to the herbs, I will take Melatonin and Valerian Root to relax me in the evening when I seem to have difficulties sleeping. Numero Dos mentioned that Pretty and Slow were welcome to try them, too, if they had trouble going to sleep.
So far tonight I find I am wide awake as usual, but Pretty is out like a light.
Well Amigos, The Red Man will keep you informed on the progress of his new therapies so stay tuned for updates.
Get me outta here Percy…I’d better try to relax or I’ll find myself at yoga.
Yikes! That sounds a little frightening. I hope it works and that the remedies they prescribed help!!
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Actually, Carol, Red did really well during the acupuncture – the only part he wasn’t fond of was the shot! We are hopeful this will help with his arthritis – he’s getting old like the rest of us – and is very stiff in his back end and legs…we’ll see what happens! His spunk is unaffected! 🙂
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Hol-ee Milkbones!!! The things these peeps come up with! Using dogs for pin cushions. Give some apes opposable thumbs and they take all sorts of liberties. May the Great God Pupperoni afflict them with tapeworms! In the meantime, you better start practicing “downward facing dog.” 🙂
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Geez! Ma’s phone is wacky tonight! Better wipe my paw prints off before she notices I posted the same thing twice. 😀
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Shhhhh…we won’t tell if you don’t! 🙂
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Hahaha – pin cushions EXACTLY, Miss Poppy!! That’s just what I looked like and yes, we are praying to the Great God Pupperoni for appropriate punishment commensurate with the crime against pups!! Geez Louise. We don’t even know how to practice downward facing dog so we are hopeless. 🙂
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The sneaky rotten things! Never mind Red Man, does sound like they’re trying to help you calm your pants. Hope the new regime works.
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Thanks so much, AC – and of course you would appreciate the inappropriate subterfuge inflicted upon The Red Man… however, I have been a bit down in my back end, as they say, so I suppose this is their attempt to help. As for remaining calm, that’ll take more than a few needles and pills! 🙂
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First I would like to say I love the red background I think it is a great idea as far as the pins and needles. It is surgery free, more natural , and has been proven to work for centuries . Good luck and let me know how it goes
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Now Terry you are our only friend who takes notice of our changing backgrounds which the old woman Slow faithfully does – thank you so much for catching that!! We will definitely keep you posted on our progress…:)
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Read this last night and couldn’t comment at the time. Wow, they really got you, Red. I am not surprised that that stuff worked on Pretty, but not on you (or Slow, it seems) as you have to believe in it for it to work. Try suspending your disbelief. It might be in your best interest (don’t you hate that phrase?). You have a tendency to the cynical and paranoid, but then who wouldn’t be, living with somebody who tricks you like that.
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Hi Luanne,
You will be pleased to know that we have spent a lifetime suspending our disbelief which runs amok at Casa de Canterbury!
I’m afraid you nailed me with the “cynical and paranoid” that is a daily battle for me. The old woman Slow is enough to drive anyone to the brink of cynicism and paranoia. She is totally unreliable and completely sneaky.
Thank God for Pretty. 🙂
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Yes, thank God for Pretty. hahahaha
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