Well, well, well. Is there no end to the skullduggery of that old woman Slow? I got up this morning and thought it was going to be a regular day like any other Hump Day is every week and trust me, I’m speaking metaphorically about Hump Day.

But no, no, no.That would have been too easy.

I opted to skip breakfast and save my appetite for a hearty lunch and the next thing I knew Slow opened the front door of Casa de Canterbury for me and let me make a mad dash for the Dodge Dakota pickup truck which is running nicely with its second engine and 166,000 + miles showing on the odometer. Nothing I enjoy more than a ride in the old Dodge Dakota. No sirree. Nothing I enjoy more.

But we rode past the Publix and the bank and the post office and the gas station which are the only four places in the whole city that we go to on our little excursions during the week and I thought this was definitely a bad sign because that left only ONE place that we occasionally visited.

Hottie Doc at the Four Paws Animal Clinic.  Curses.  Foiled again.

Sure enough, as Granny Selma would say, it turns out I had an appointment at the vet’s office. Sigh. Whatever. Same old. Same old.

Wrong, O Welsh Terrier breath – not same old. Not Hottie Doc herself – but Hottie Doc Numero Dos came strolling in. Sweet Lady Gaga. She was very young but seemed nice and talked to Slow about blah, blah, blah and then she and her Helper Girl jacked me up on the scales like always.

Well Sports Fans the next thing I knew I was getting delicious little treats from the Helper Girl when I felt these little prickly pricks all along my back and on my legs and neck. Not painful exactly – more like annoying. Yep, you guessed it: acupuncture. The Red Man was having acupuncture without his permission and no one seemed to care. It was a world gone mad.

Well I never. No, truly I never – but supposedly this is my new Alternative Treatment Program which will make The Red Man new and improved. Let’s hope so. At any rate, Numero Dos finally removed the needles after a while and sent us home with two types of herbs to round out my prescription for rosy health. (I will omit the tragic incident of the B-12 killer shot that Numero Dos injected while I was in the throes of my new ATP – some things are better left unsaid.)

In addition to the herbs, I will take Melatonin and Valerian Root to relax me in the evening when I seem to have difficulties sleeping. Numero Dos mentioned that Pretty and Slow were welcome to try them, too, if they had trouble going to sleep.

So far tonight I find I am wide awake as usual, but Pretty is out like a light.

Well Amigos, The Red Man will keep you informed on the progress of his new therapies so stay tuned for updates.

Get me outta here Percy…I’d better try to relax or I’ll find myself at yoga.