The Red Man was subjected to the tricks and treats of Hottie Doc Numero Dos once again today…note the pins stuck in moi while Helper Girl pretends to be nicey nice by dispensing cookies on the scales of injustice. Sweet Lady Gaga. Whatever happened to good ol’ Western medicine with its few pills here and there? You got me. No, seriously…the old woman Slow got me with another acupuncture treatment at the hands of Hottie Doc Numero Dos.
I fear Pretty has forsaken me, but of course Slow always takes me to the 4 Paws Animal Clinic when Pretty is at work. There is no end to her treachery.
What goes around comes around, as Granny Selma was fond of saying and brothers and sisters it came around to Slow today.
Her Lady Gamecocks were hosting the first round of the NCAA basketball tournament this afternoon and Slow was the designated Advance Peep to save seats for the Gang of Five going to the game together – all with general admission tickets which meant seats were up for grabs.
Game started at 5 p.m. and Slow got to arena at 2:45 p.m. Unfortunately, fans weren’t permitted to grab seats until 4.00 p.m. She stood in line all that time. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
She amused herself for the first half hour by taking pictures of Coach Dawn Staley who stands in a larger-than-life banner watching over the restless fans.
By the time she had stood in line for one hour and fifteen minutes she didn’t even know which end of her rally flag was up. Pathetic. Thankfully, she was able to stagger into the general admission seating and get excellent seats for the Gang of Five who were appropriately grateful.
The Lady Gamecocks won big (81 to 48) which tickled Pretty and the other Gang members…but…this is how God punishes evildoers:
When everyone got up to leave and began to pick up what they’d brought with them, apparently, according to Pretty who is always truthful, Slow couldn’t find her cell phone. She looked under her seat, under Pretty’s seat, on the row behind her. She searched high and low…and then searched again. The cell phone had vanished.
Not vanished exactly. And The Red Man is still laughing at this one…the cell phone was in Pretty’s large souvenir Diet Coke cup that she had only half-finished. The cell phone was practically floating in Diet Coke in Pretty’s cup which had been on the floor between their seats! Hilarious. I am picturing their faces when they found it there!
One of the Gang of Five told Slow to put the phone in a bag of rice when she got home to Casa de Canterbury – which is where the phone is even as we speak. In a bag of Mahatma long-grained rice. The Red Man can hardly contain himself at the sight.
So the moral of this story is Karma is alive and well and living at Casa de Canterbury this evening in a bag of rice and if anyone was planning on contacting the old woman Slow by phone, I’d give it a day or two to see if it dries out. Honestly, that old lesbian is a disaster waiting to happen.
Catch ya later, Sports Fans. Have a fun weekend, and if you see Slow at Round 2 Sunday night, steer clear of her. She’s reaping what she sows these days.
Get me outta here Percy…I feel strangely perky tonight…a little extra pep in my step…hm…I wonder…