Well Amigos, Casa de Canterbury is in the middle of winter while we all hold our breaths for the first signs of spring. It’s been cold, and once again the casa was without heat for a night this week. The old woman Slow always has dire predictions when it comes to household expenses, and Pretty is no help. This time the culprit was a couple of  AA batteries in the thermostat which any fool should have known to check before calling Anthony the Heating Man for a service call but then these two so-called lesbians aren’t just any fools. But they’re my fools. Sigh.

Pretty has been busy with her antique booths – shuffling her treasures between West Columbia and Prosperity and loading and re-loading from the garage and bodega at Casa de Canterbury. She keeps the new 2007 Dodge Dakota pickup on the roads most days which means Slow and Tennis Ball Obsessed Chelsea and Fence Jumper Spike rely on The Red Man for their entertainment. I find it easier to encourage them to watch daytime TV for fun and excitement.

Unfortunately, there are no tennis majors, football games or basketball games on during the day in February so Slow watches re-runs of her all-time favorite dramas like In the Heat of the Night and Blue Bloods. Sweet Lady Gaga.

Even more unfortunately, The Red Man has decided to pull the plug on daytime TV. Has anyone ever really listened to the commercials they play over and over again? Mesothelioma victims, automobile injuries, shingles survivors, creative laxatives, reverse mortgages, guaranteed life insurance, men with erections lasting longer than six hours who have to be told to call a doctor – you can hear it all on daytime TV. And then some.

But the one fact hammered in relentlessly day after day is that One in Three adults over the age of 65 will fall every year…and that 80% of those people will fall in their own bathroom. OMG – Slow will be 70 this year – Quick! Get her away from the bathroom!

Uh,oh. I see some problems with this already.

Oh, well. No plan is perfect. Might be simpler to just turn off the TV.

Get me outta here, Percy…I need to find that remote…have a great weekend, Sports Fans…