Dear God, we’re on a merry-go-round of activity on Worsham Street since we’ve been back! The Little Women of Worsham Street and ex-Neighbor Jon and the Golf Cart Peeps from three houses down and the Woodlands/South Carolina Peeps have all stopped by for a visit with the old woman Slow and Amiga Driver and Ollie and moi. The ‘Hood is humming with news these days and I’m trying to catch up on all the gossip floating in the air like the flowers in that Avatar movie. For example, ex-Neighbor Jon may soon be City Councilman ex-Neighbor Jon if he wins the Votes on Saturday when the Peeps go polling here in Montgomery. I hope he wins because I have quite a few Suggestions for Improvements in the ‘Hood – we’ll start with more Daily Treats for Pups. Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye. A vote for Everybody’s Favorite Neighbor Jon is a vote for Progress for Pups! Hooray!
Then, of course, Slow and Amiga Driver went to see Granny Selma in the maximum security jail yesterday and, thankfully, Ollie and Yours Truly were spared that lengthy trip to the inner city of Houston. I couldn’t have stood one more mile with Smokey Lonesome Ollie right now. We’ve had a little too much togetherness, if you catch my drift. But, the old woman saddled up the Dodge Dakota like a Texas Ranger would and went to see Granny Selma, who is as much a mental mess as ever. I heard Slow talking to Pretty tonight on the phone. (Hey, Pretty – you know I miss you terribly and I realize you can’t bear for me to be in Texas without you but remember I love you, okay?) Anyway, Slow told Pretty she asked Granny Selma if she had a pencil in her jail cell and Granny Selma handed her a sock and asked her if that would do. Alrighty, then. Shit house mouse. Granny Selma ain’t right, and we all know that. We love her, though.
To add insult to injury, would you believe a black cat has moved into our yard? Seriously. The damned thing comes right up on our porch and acts like it BELONGS there. Get away from here, you stupid cat – WE WILL PROTECT OUR HOUSE!! Won’t we, Ollie?? I’m afraid this is what happens when we’re in South Carolina. Cat Invasions, and that’s not all. We have WASPS, and I’m not talkin’ white anglo-saxon Protestants, either. This afternoon we had to have the Bull’s Eye Bug Man come and chase away countless WASPS that had decided to live with us and the C-A-T-S. Oh, yeah. The Bug Man was here for several hours while a Cable Guy climbed a gigantic pole in our back yard looking for Bugs of a different kind. Yes, indeedy, the old woman had a field day shouting at the Cable Peeps early this morning about her internet connectivity and she made such a scene they rushed right over. Yikes! The First Cable Guy had so much trouble he had to call a Second Cable Guy for reinforcements. At one point we were Surrounded by so many Service Trucks I thought of waving a white flag for surrender. Geez Louise.
So you see why I’ve been so nervous today…who wouldn’t be with chaos and madness running rampant in the ‘Hood? The Red Man patrols the fort and must be ever vigilant for Bugs of all kinds as well as an Ambassador of good will for Worsham Street visitors. Luckily, all’s well that ends well and we are connected to our Sports Fans and bug-free tonight. Tomorrow’s another day…game on.