And so Sports Fans, another Bowl Season slowly sets in the West as surely as the sun rises and smiles in the East over The Red Man’s Gamecocks who won the Outback Bowl on New Year’s Day to get 2013 started with a Big Bang and that’s not just Theory. Heh, heh.
Cocks Rock the New Year in Outback Bowl
South Carolina fans traveled to Tampa in hordes to watch their Cocks try to beat Michigan to finish 11-2 in back to back football seasons and The Red Man has just one thing to say on the subject: You Can’t Lick Our Cocks!
The Ol’ Bald Coach did some Big Time Coachin’…
MVPeep Number One Ace Sanders did some Big Time Catchin’…
Quarterbacks Connor Shaw and Dylan Thompson did some Big Time Cooperatin’…
But in the end The Red Man’s Personal Favorite for All Seasons, my Monster Man Jadeveon Clowney, had to step up and Save the Day…Ta Dum…here’s how the drama unfolded for any of you who’ve slept through the last news cycle.
Michigan goes for it on fourth down and comes up several inches short
Okay, did any of you guys get a good look at that spot?
Nah, not really, but what the hell? It’s only a few inches here or there anyway so
FIRST DOWN – Michigan!!
Ol’ Bald Coach to Ref: Are you shittin’ me??
And that’s when Number Seven Jadeveon Clowney stepped in and up for the Cocks with a Big Time Hit on the poor unsuspecting unlucky Michigan running back who made the mistake of trying to move forward while holdin’ a football. Wham Bam Whatever and the Michigan guy’s helmet flew off his head and back into last year as Clowney ploughed into him like a freight train that jumped the tracks at full speed. Oh, yeah and just to get his point across, Jadeveon calmly scooped up the ball with his left hand and walked away from the melee he’d just created to give the Cocks the football. Message delivered. Stick a fork in ’em – Michigan’s done. Gamecocks 33 – Michigan 28.
I’m tellin’ ya’ll that call pissed me off
You tell ’em, Big Fella and that’ll teach us all a Huge Life Lesson: Never piss off an All-American Peep Football Player who’s 6 ft 8 inches tall and faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a locomotive. He may even be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but we’re not sure. He hasn’t had to try yet.
More Good News – The Red Man and Spike and the old woman Slow are back on Worsham Street today. Pretty drove us a thousand miles in two days in the old Dodge Dakota pickup which keeps on chasin’ that neon rainbow. More on that trip later…we would’ve been here sooner but we had to watch the Outback Bowl twice before we could leave Casa de Canterbury. Seriously. Twice.
Get me outta here Percy…I need a nap before I click on the Clowney You Tube Video that’s hotter than a two-dollar pistol. Adios, Amigos…Clowney Up!